Post # 1
Okay, so last Saturday my now DH and I got married, we had invited about 156 people knowing in advance a good chunk of them wouldn’t be able to make it but we had to send out RSVPs anyway. We had received back 90 RSVPS. YAY!! Well come wedding day we only had maybe at the most 50 ppl show up.
I AM PISSED. My DH is like just be happy with the people who are here. Don’t get me wrong i am happy. But I am highly upset with the number of no shows. That is A TON, of wasted money. I go back to work tomorrow and I really have no idea on what to say or do. I’m still upset and don’t want to say anything I will regret but part of me wants to send them a bill and be like oh you no showed well this is how much I had to pay for you not to be there. I know I won’t do that. Just had to vent.
Post # 3
Iwould be pissed too. I’m not enaged yet but I know mywedding would be frugal, and I would be very keen only to pay for those who will actually come. I guess what is annoying is the fact people who are in 2 minds or not really decided on coming say yes, meaning you pay for their food, and then they don’t even explain why they are not coming. Of course ou will have people who genuinely cannot make it due to emergencies or personal circumstances…. but not over 40 people who RSVP’d!
I hope your wedding day was marvellous regardless.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t say anything but I would re-think the extent of your friendship with these people in the future. If they RSVP’d yes then couldn’t even be bothered attending your wedding, unless it was due to some personal emergency, are these really the sort of people you want in your lives?
Post # 5
Wow I would be highly offended and upset.
Consider the importance of these people in your life, and cut them loose.
Post # 6
That is exactly what my DH has kept saying. The important ones were there. It still just brothers me, I could have had a better menu or spent mogloom flowers. Some of these people we considered very good friends. My DH’s best man didnt even show up. We got someone to replace him the last minute, but it still stinks. All in all it was a wonderful wedding and I am married to the man of my dreams.
Post # 7
Wow, that is a LOT of no-shows – fourty out of ninety people who RSVPd yes didn’t show up???? Gahhh I would lose my mind. However, there’s really nothing you can say to them, unfortunately. Like PPs have said, it depends who these people are, but if they’re just friends, I don’t think I would consider them as such anymore (ASSUMING there were no legitimate reasons).
Post # 8
@hjesnic05: did something happen? I have heard of 1 or 2, but 40 makes me wonder if there is something going on in the family? Was there something casual about the invite? It is very strange.
Post # 9
There has got to be something to this. How does even the best man not show?? We had 2 groups no show. One told me a few days in advance, but it was after we’d already paid and made special arrangements for them and their excuse was nonsensical. We haven’t spoken since. The other was some of dh’s family that I didn’t even want to invite in the first place so I was thrilled. I only wish that we haven’t seen them since!
Post # 10
@hjesnic05: Just out of curiosity. How far in advance was your RSVP to your wedding date?
Post # 11
Holy f— how did FORTY people not show?!
Post # 12
@hjesnic05: WHOA. Did the best man have a good excuse? Has your DH spoken to him since?
Post # 14
what to say to them?! won’t you be too busy beating them with a large stick to talk?
i joke of course but seriously, that is a lot of people. it would definitely affect my friendship with them in the future unless they had a valid reason
Post # 15
That is a huge percentage! I think rule of thumb is, 20% of people who RSVP’d won’t show…or is it 20% of the people you invited won’t show??? Either way OP, 40 Out 90 people is ridiculous. Usually I tell the bride to think about those that came, and those who didn’t missed out on a beautiful day, and ultimately that is what matters. Nevertheless, that number is disturbing. OP, where were the biggest group of no shows from? Co-workers, family, hs friends? I am asking because maybe something from that group happened? Either way, those people owe you an explanation, and don’t let them make you feel bad for asking. Hear them out, and if it’s a legitimate reason, you can accept that. If it is a bullshit excuse, I would consider getting some new friends. Now, if it’s family, it is more complicated. When someone in my family doesn’t support me, I don’t get mad, I just return the favor. The beauty is that they can say nothing because they know damn well why I didn’t show to something…but maybe I am just petty like that. Either way OP, hold your head up high at work, and don’t give wedding details to people that didn’t come. They missed out on your lovely day, they can continue to not be privy to your amazing day. Congrats Mrs.!
Post # 16
That is outrageous. Vent away. Were these mostly co-workers? Could a group of them have screwed up the date? Thought it was next month or next year? Were they invited by way of written invitation the same way as everyone else or online? Was there a typo?
I think I would call to make sure someone wasn’t in a “terrible accident” or had some kind of emergency. You were “concerned.” I know it sounds passive aggressive, because obviously 40 people didn’t have last minute trips to the ER, but if I had one no show I would be legitimately concerned and I really would call. I’d remain polite no matter what they say, but if there was no good excuse or it wasn’t an honest mistake, I’m sure it would influence my view of that person.
Either there was a really big whopper of a mistake, or you really need some new friends.