Post # 1
My SIL lost her dad about a year ago and I’d love to send her and her mom flowers… but I can’t afford it right now.
Does anyone have any great ideas for what I can send them to let them know I love them and are thinking about them?
I am really sensitive to death anniversaries and think they are important days that need to be remembered!
I’m going to send a card… but would love to do a little something else. They are out of state, so I can’t bake anything or do something inexpensive like that…
Post # 3
Do you know if they feel the same way as you? If I were them I wouldn’t want the reminders all day, it would be hard enough as it is. They may feel the opposite and appreciate the gift but make sure you know before you do something.
If you think they would appreciate something, I think a card is sufficient to let them know they are in your thoughts.
Post # 4
I think a card is best. It’s not a birthday or anything, so not something to “celebrate” necessarily. Find a nice card that has some nice words and write something in there that is heartfelt. You could always donate to a charity or to whatever fund they may have designated (if they did) for “in lieu of flowers” in his honor for the funeral last year (it may say it in the obituary) if you feel like you want to do something a bit more, but honestly, a card is sufficient. They will appreciated that you are remembering them and their loved one.
Post # 5
I think the card is a very thoughtful idea! It lets them know you care and are thinking about them. The card alone would do, I think!
Post # 6
@CaliHoya: I know they are both thinking a lot about the day and seeing it as a milestone of getting past the first year of everything (first Christmas without him, etc). Thanks for your perspective, though … I wouldn’t have thought and additional reminder may be something negative, since I know he’s on their mind all the time.
Post # 7
As someone who recently lost my father – a card at MOST would be good. Or perhaps as someone else said a donation to their charity. Nothing to elaborate.
Post # 8
A card only or better yet a phone call. I’m with @orangeroses29: nothing elborate. I lost my mom and I don’t think I would want anyone making a deal about it with anything other than a card.
Post # 9
@orangeroses29: I’m sorry about your recent loss. In your opinion, is a card too much? Maybe an email or FB message saying I’m thinking of them??
Post # 10
I don’t think I would send a card. I might just send a gift that you know they’ll like or could use. Not “death” related specifically, like flowers can be considered (sorry if that sounds insensitive to anyone). And then you can leave a little note that says something like thinking of you without specifically mentioning why in case they are sensitive to seeing it in writing.
Post # 11
Etiquette Snob here…
This is one of the occasions in life when heatfelt words are important… be it a few sentiments scribbled at the end of a commercial “Thinking of You” card… or a note with more sincere thoughts of a few parapraphs, on your Personal Notepaper or Stationery if you have it.
It is not something that should be done off-handed or impersonally (so skip the email or FB option… too casual for the occasion)
Card or Note, it is just the right amount of thought for this situation
No gift required (as someone else said, it is a milemaker, but not a celebration)
That and a (( HUG )) if you guys are close, when you next see the person one-on-one.
These will make the best choices
Hope this helps,
Post # 12
@oracle: Definitely not an email or facebook. Too casual.