Post # 1
Hey all! I was just wondering… If you’re a bridesmaid in a wedding, and your SO is invited but not in the party, what should the SO wear?
The last wedding I was a bridesmaid in, I actually got my then-boyfriend a blue tie that matched my dress perfectly, because I like the matchy-matchy thing. (Plus I had a sorority formal a few months later and I planned to wear the dress to that and wanted him to match. So there’s proof a bridesmaid dress can be worn again!) It was kind of funny, because some people did a few double takes thinking he was a groomsman, but then they realized he didn’t have vest/tux/white shirt like the groomsmen actually had. The bride didn’t care- she thought it was funny too.
I’m a bridesmaid in another wedding coming up in July, and the color is purple, so I’m tempted to get the fiance a tie to match, but I’ve recently heard that it’s actually a faux pas to do this. I might not get him a matching tie anyway, since I’m not sure how often he’d wear the purple tie, but now I’m curious…
If you’ve ever been a bridesmaid, what did your date wear to the wedding?
Post # 3
My DH never matches me when I am a BM. He just wears what he would normally wear to a wedding – a suit. I don’t like when people try to match the bridal party, and my DH and I have never tried to coordinate our outfits.
Post # 4
@Apple_Blossom: I’m not a huge fan of the matchy thing in any context, so I just say wear whatever nice suit and shirt and tie you have. You don’t want to clash, but I think it’s ok to wear whatever you want. I think the last wedding my FI and I went to I was a bridesmaid in a red/navy blue dress, and he wore a light blue shirt and blue striped tie. He looks nice in blue because his eyes are blue. 🙂
Post # 5
A non-wedding party date should just wear a normal outfit…no offense but even if you weren’t in the wedding party I would find it kind of dorky that you matched your FI’s tie to your dress 😛 but since you are in the wedding party, I think you especially shouldn’t match, it seems awkward for your date to be mistaken for a groomsman all night.
Post # 6
@Apple_Blossom: I think matching is cute, but I would agree with PPs that maybe you should skip matching it to the BM dress. Or, if you really want to coordinate, get him a tie that is a different color but has purple in it but isn’t entirely purple.
Post # 7
@Apple_Blossom: i once went to a wedding where my bf of the time was in the wedding party. i just wore a dress like i was a regular invited guest and dressed appropriately for the style of wedding that it was.
Post # 8
@bridinmt: No offense taken, I’m kind of a dork anyways, ha. I just really like when colors match or go really well together, and at formal events we attend really try to make sure we’re in some kind of coordinating outfits that look great together. Maybe there’s some psychological aspect to it- I never had a boyfriend in high school, so I missed out on the whole “you need a pink tie to match my dress” thing. Hm… Stuff to think about…
Post # 9
@iadornyou: That’s kind of what I’m thinking. If he ends up not wearing his black tie (or maybe green- I think the shades of purple and green compliment each other), and I decide to buy him a new tie, it won’t be outright purple, but maybe with little stripes or something. I just really like color coordination!
Really, I just want an excuse to buy him a tie, I think… When we first met, he had none. Now he has four- three because I bought them to match me, ha.
Post # 10
FI doesn’t dress to match me when I’m a bridesmaid. He just wears whatever suit/tie combo he feels for that day. At one wedding he not only had the same color tie as the groomsmen (total accident) but he also LOOKED just like on the groomsmen. That guy’s toddler was so confused…
But, in all, I don’t decide what FI wears to events. Frankly, he’s more fashion forward than I am. Sometimes I wish he’d tell ME what to wear. Sigh.
Post # 11
I never match my fiancée, generally. I’m a man, not an accessory. I’m 31 so I’m much too old for it to be cute.
Post # 12
I would want him to wear whatever the occasion calls for.
Post # 13
I definitely think he shouldn’t wear anything similar to the groomsmen. It’s one thing to semi coordinate with the BM/his date but no to the point where he looks like he’s part of the bridal party….that might be quite awkward!
Post # 14
@Apple_Blossom: FWIW, DH and I totally like to match our accessories. He’s a total dandy when it comes time to wear a suit (which is so totally unlike him ANY OTHER TIME that I completely encourage it) so he loves getting a tie and pocket square that matches my shawl or necklace or dress 🙂 You’re not the only dork! I love the idea of getting a tie with purple in it but not solid color — that way, you both look fantastic together, but he’s safe from being mistaken for a groomsman!
Post # 15
@Apple_Blossom: Don’t have him match! Think about it in reverse– would you want your groomsman’s girlfriend to be wearing a dress the same color as your bridesmaids? I wouldn’t be happy– the focus should be on the couple, not you as a couple. While I totally get that it could look cute, the best SO of a bridal party is one who sits back and stays out of the spotlight. FWIW, I do my best not to coordinate. If their colors are black and purple, I wear brown and pink.
Post # 16
Just wear what is appropriate and don’t try to match anything or exert too much thought.