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I thought it might be fun to hear what traditions people aren't following, and what reactions you are getting.
We aren't:
- having a cake or cutting
- having a sit-down dinner (tapas and lounge seating instead)
- garter or bouquet toss
I'm worried that people won't eat enough, but I'm hoping that enough word of mouth will fix that.
no garter toss, i will probaby do a bouquet toss (i always wanted to, but i'm not too sure)..
I'm not doing a veil which has my mom disappointed but oh well. We are also not doing a garter toss. I haven't decided on a bouquet toss yet.
no garter, no sit-down meal... I think we're staying fairly traditional other than that!
I am skipping the money dance which seems to be a tradition in my FI family, we may be passing on the cake cutting and I am trying to ditch candle ceremony.
I'm having both my father AND mother walk me down the aisle.
They divorced when I was 2 and Dad was out of the picture until I was a little older, but we have had a great relationship for the last 10 years. Of course, my Mom has been there since day 1. So I want them both to do it :)
Now... if they'll cooperate! :)
-We are seeing eachother before the wedding
-I am not wearing a veil
-We are not doing a bouquet or garter toss
-We are not doing a cake
-We are not having a unity candle or any other ceremony like that
-No Father/Daugter or Mother/Daughter Dance
- I am wearing a short wedding dress
-No Head table
-Not getting married in a church
Not having:
- A head table
- A father/daughter dance (My dad is your typical Asian dad who has never been huggy huggy. As long as I had good grades, my parents were fine with me. It’s just too awkward for me to be all “emotional” w/ dad when I was never that open with him.)
- A wedding shower (I feel weird inviting people to a party to give us gifts. I already have my own place that my fiancé will move into. I don’t need to ooh and ahhh over pots & pans for 2 hours. I already have ‘em.)
- A picture taking session of me getting ready (I feel weird having a photographer there when I’m getting dressed. I like my calm & silence before I start my big day.)
- Flower girls. I’ll only have my nephew as ring bearer. He’s the only “blood relative” I have for the kids. The rest are family friends’ kids.
It is funny because out of my whole family (I have two sisters), I think I am the most traditional, but my wedding was the least traditional of the three! Who knew?
-No bouquet or garter toss
-No sitdown meal (heavy hors d'ouevres for our cocktail reception)
-No dancing (My hubby and I wanted everyone to just have a fun time talking and catching up with each other)
-No favors
-Didn't think twice about seeing each other before the ceremony. We didn't even do a first look, but that had more to do with the weather than anything else.
We kept the traditions that had meaning for us!
-No bouquet or garter
-We'll be seeing each other beforehand.
-No dollar dance (it's tradition in my family)
-No unity candle/sand/etc
-No church
-No father/daughter, mother/son etc dances
- I don't think we're doing a receiving line at the church, since we'll be visiting all the tables to say hello.
- We're not doing a bridal party dance.
- No money dance.
- Two maids of honor/two best men
Let’s see, our are:
- No veil
- No bouquet/garter toss
- Not getting married in a church
- Only have one on each side (i.e., just MOH, no BM)
- No cake (cupcakes instead!!)
So far the only thing that has fazed my mom is the no cake situation – she’s so untraditional, but is clinging onto that traditional fondant style wedding cake and traditional cake cutting! LOL
@gabriell, My mom had a hard time with the cake thing too. We are having cupcakes and she begged me to let her buy a small wedding cake so we could cut it and feed eachother cake...that is just not me! LOL!! =) She is so sweet! I love my mom!!
Not doing:
-head table
-cake cutting
-garter or bouquet toss
Doing differently:
-my sister, not my MOH, will give my toast (and BM isn't giving his toast)
head table, garter toss and bouquet toss.... proably more that is what i got so far...
I am not wearing a veil... it is definitely not me! Possibly no unity candle or anything similar.
@Toyna2010 – my mom sounds exactly the same as your mom. I told my mom we wanted cupcakes, and explained they would be “grownup cupcakes” and she is still sending me pics of cakes and saying “you’re SURE you don’t want to have even a little cake for just you and R????” The traditional cake cutting and feeding isn’t really our style either. Ah, moms, gotta love ‘em!! 
No Veil
No Head Table
My father isn't walking me down the aisle
No Father/Daughter dance
We're seeing eachother before the ceremony
We're not getting married in a church.... I could go on and on :)
You know, I feel like there were a lot of traditions we were going to bypass when the planning started, but one by one I have caved on just about all of them. :) Here's what we've got left:
I have been saying "NO" on the bouquet toss, but I feel that one might be the next to bite the dust as well. I nixed it originally because this is only fun if people get really into it and actually want to grab the bouquet. I didn't think I was even going to have very many unmarried women at the wedding, so I wasn't going to throw a bouquet to, like, four uncomfortable friends. Having done the close-to-final tally, though, I think there will be a good dozen unmarried ladies there, so perhaps it would be fun. I know at the very least I can count on best-friend bridesmaid to make a vicious lunge for it. :)
I'm having a VERY TRADITIONAL wedding! One only marries once in there lives (well, at least that's what we hope for).
-We didn't stay apart the night before
-We did a reveal (therefor seeing each other before the wedding)
-No bridal party
-No "Here comes the bride" entrance song
-No seating of the parents
-No garter toss
-Did a bouquet giveaway rather than a toss
-We walked down the aisle together
-Didn't get married in a church
-Almost did cupcakes
-Totally forgot to do the something blue, etc. I had it all in my head but I forgot to bring most of it
-No flower girl
We are not doing:
- Sitdown meal (heavy hors d'ouevres for our cocktail reception)
- No head table
- No "dinner hour" starting the dancing right off the top of the reception
- Wedding on a balcony (no church here)
- All pictures before ceremony
- MOH/BM (we will flip a coin that day to decide who witnesses the license)
Not doing:
We are also not having bridesmaids (my brother will be the Man of Honor) nor ring bearers/flower girls. :-)
well i dont want a cake i want cupcakes. i also dont want a long dress, i want a shorter one.
I love traditions but some are just meant to be broken. We are
-spending the night before together
-seeing each other before the wedding for a first look
-no ringbearer/flower girl
-no father/daughter, mother/son, wedding party dances
-not getting married in a church
-no unity candle/sand ceremony/any other coming together tradition
-no sweetheart or head table
-no toasts
-no cake, cupcakes instead
-not a traditional processional/recessional
-no wedding shower, couples shower, bachelor/bachlorette party.
Man, I sound like a party pooper!
I forgot no garter or bouquet toss
Let's see...
1) No head table
2) Uneven bridesmaids v groomsmen (I always thought that rule was silly)
3) mismatched and different colored bridesmaids
4) first dance isn't gonna be slow/traditional. We're doing a cha-cha to "Sway." I was a BIG dancer in my youth, and its one of my favorite passions. FI's actually pretty smooth with his moves :)
5) Rehearsel dinner is going to be everyone invited to the wedding (I'm having a relatively small wedding)
6) No garter toss/maybe no bouquet toss
Not engaged yet, but we already decided:
-no bridal party except for my sis and his friend
-no garter/bouquet toss
-not getting married in a church
-a short dress for me, unless we do a beach wedding
- no father/daughter & mother/son dances
My turn!
I'm glad to see so many people doing things differently. I'm doing a few non-traditional things at my wedding, and my parents aren't so happy with it!
Here's what I'm doing differently:
-My brother will be my best man (Therefore there are two best men and no MOH)
-No garter/bouquet toss
-Possibly no head table (there's just no room for it in the hall since we're having an 8 piece band!)
-Two flower girls
-We may not do a first dance...FI is a terrible dancer. We may start a song, but 30 seconds into it invite everyone to join us, lol.
No bouquet toss-We gave it to the longest married couple
No garter toss. I wore one but we ended up forgetting about it. I wasn't upset though because I wasn't really into the idea. Although truthfully, if I had remembered later in the night (once I had consumed some wine) I totally would have been into it :-)
No cake.
During the ceremony, our families sat on opposite sides. I wanted my family to be able to see me, and for me to to be able to see them better and vice-versa. We liked the idea.
my mom is my maid of honor
no traditional music for walking down the isle.
getting married and having reception all outside
were having an icecream cake
no veil and seeing each other before the ceremony
-walking myself down the aisle
-having 4 weddings...so 'no seeing each other before the wedding' doesn't really make sense
-rock music changed to be ceremony appropriate
-no bouquet/garter toss
-no dancing (no moral issue - just a situational issue)
-no head table
However...I should say that we are also having a traditional Korean wedding which is very very very traditional - so the Korean one will be uber trad and the Canadian one will be uber not.
-no bouquet/garter toss
-no bridesmaids/groomsmen (only MOH and best man)
-no father/daughter or mother/son dances
-both parents walking me down the aisle
Few days late, but from the OP, thanks for the responses!
I didn't even think about half of this stuff when listing my non-traditional. I am also:
- not getting married in a church
- no poetry readings or anything like that, our ceremony is more about commitment than romantic love
- having a friend do the wedding
- no special seating at the wedding
- no matching suits or BM dresses
- skipping lots of ordinary wedding dance music
- no flower girls or ring bearers
- probably no veil
- taking pictures before the wedding
- no announcement of the couple
- no big exit (I'm going to party all night)
- no receiving line
We are doing a lot of unconventional things in addition to skipping stuff: having a speech in the ceremony about us from a friend, karaoke mixed with the dancing, a bocce tournament.
No money dance.
We will have a garter toss but, he will not be taking it off of me beforehand. I will just have an extra one for him to toss out.
No particular seating at church for bride/groom side. We will just reserve first rows for parents.
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