Post # 1
Yesterday my Mom dropped on me that she is insisting on us having a rehearsal dinner (before we were just going to tell people to meet at a bar and pay for the first few rounds). My Mom said – and I agree with her – that we have a lot of people who are spending a lot of money to come to NYC on an expensive holiday weekend and pay for hotels and all that, and it wouldn’t be right to leave them on the Friday night without holding some sort of thank you/welcome dinner. She offered to pay for this new addition to our budget, but she’s already given us enough and I don’t want her to contribute more (plus it would cause a lot of problems within the family – my parents are divorced and do not get along).
What do you think?
1) Organize a lunch at a nice restaurant – then have the rehearsal with the bridal party – then tell people to meet us at a bar or something (at which point the onus isn’t on us to pay)
2) Host a cocktail hour at a restaurant. (Not sure this is going to be possible on a Friday night).
3) Have a buffet dinner at a room we can rent in a friend’s building. The room is VERY ugly and worn down – but my brother’s girlfriend has offered to help decorate and we may rent tables and stuff.
Post # 3
I really like the idea of hosting a lunch before the rehearsal! lol I may definitely consider doing this…
It should cut down the stress if everyone is fat & happy 🙂
Post # 4
Guests (that means your attendants) are not responsible for paying their own way. If you (or your mom or whoever is hosting it) can’t afford something, then scale back to what you can afford that you cover completely yourself. If that means going to a local pizza parlor, then do that. Rehearsal dinners are supposed to be casual and inexpensive.
So out of your options, I would go with #3 because it sounds like you will be paying for that one completely which is what a host does. No one will be paying attention to the building decor at that point.
Post # 5
The attendants will not be paying their own way. I’m sorry I didn’t make that completely clear (in my mind it was!) Any of those three options we will pay for everything (the only exception is going to the bar after rehearsal, especially since I don’t think we’d be going to the bar ourselves).
I understand the point of the RD’s and that they are casual. Keep in mind I am having my wedding in New York City, and we have a big bridal party and huge family. The RD will have 50 people attending.
Post # 6
Oh… I wouldn’t invite people to join you at bar afterwards where they will have to pay for their own drinks. Your mom is right, they’re paying a lot of money to be there & sheesh drinks in NYC are expensive! If I were invited to a bar after the rehearsal with the other guests, I’d assume it was covered. I think the lunch with beer & wine would be sufficient. 🙂
Post # 7
Hmm – yeah. I guess I was just thinking of it as: “Hey, if you want to meet us later, we’ll be at XYZ.” But if that’s the case, then I’d just want to do a dinner I think – I don’t want to leave the OOT guests with nothing to do on Friday night…
Post # 8
I think either the lunch or the buffet dinner. It depends on if people will have enough time to get there for the lunch or will they still be traveling mid-day? I wouldn’t worry about the decor. At least at your friend’s building, you could provide your own alcohol and save $$$.
For my DW, I am checking into the costs of having a dinner from a limited menu at a sports bar/ grill, but if that’s too much then we’ll just do pizza and salads at another place.
Post # 9
We are planning to have the rehearsal with everyone necessary and then follow up with dinner for those 30 people. We can’t afford to throw a second reception. So, we are intending to say, we plan to go to “X” bar tonight. Stop by if you want. No mention of hosting, no formal invites. It’s the best we can do.
Post # 10
I’ll eat dinner in a nice room, an ugly room, a circular room, whatever! Just bring on the food!
Post # 11
I would say lunch except…do you think that most of your out of town guests will actually be there by afternoon? If they are trying to minimize their time off work maybe not?
Just somethign to consider! If you already know when people are coming in and Friday afternoon works I’d go for that.