What was you worst "what was I thinking!?" Relationship?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m not going to get into all of it, but one person ended up denying we had anything or were anything, said he “didn’t like me like that” and I “must be fucking retarded to think he’d ever want to be with someone like me.”

It just really messed me up for a bit after that, and looking back now I can’t believe I even wasted my time with that fool cause he wasn’t any sort of prize.

Edit: I feel like I should add a little backstory because without it you don’t know if I actually was crazy imagining a relationship lol. Basically I was talking with this guy for about 8 months, then we were together for about a month. Then he suddenly drops off the face of the earth, can’t contact him, don’t know where he is, nothing. When he finally does respond to my “hey where are you, what’s going on” messages, it was to say what I posted above.

Post # 3
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee

Unfathomably:  WOW! hahah You certainly did!!

Unfortunately, my biggest “WHAT WAS I THINKING?!” relationship was my second longest after SO.

It lasted a whole year and a half – what the heck man?! I didnt even think he was cute!! I thought he had a nice personality and we could talk and talk and i thought he was so funny. I tried to be the girl my mom raised me and overlook his appearance and awful circumstances because he just had “bad luck” phhhhfffftttttttt!!!! YEAH RIGHT

he turned out to be the biggest douche. Extremely manipulative and blamed everything and everyone for his situation (child custody, job, car etc) but i eventually realized they were all his fault. He had no drive or determination. It was always a rollercoaster with him. Then he cheated on me…multiple times. 

the end lol. I shudder to think back on it. 

Post # 4
Member
2134 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Hmm, I’ve been pretty lucky, considering I started dating FI at 19 (and only had 2 high school boyfriends before him), but my “what was I thinking?” guy was definitely this guy I dated for a couple of months at the very beginning of college. We were nothing serious – mostly just drunken hookups and a few coffee dates, but after it fizzled out, I was hung up on him for months. In fact, it wasn’t till I started dating FI that I really got over it.

Now, (and this is why it’s a “what was I thinking?” story) he’s a wannabe rapper who writes the absolute worst music I’ve ever heard. My best friend and I get a real kick out of listening every time he releases a new video. I don’t know where this idea of being a rapper came from, but I am so glad we didn’t work out. 

Post # 5
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Whitetail Ridge

Six months with a total loser. He was socially inept, to the point where he wouldn’t hold a conversation with any of my siblings, friends, or parents. He had a hobby of rebuilding shitty cars and spent all of his money fixing 20 year old rusted pieces of junk. During our six months together, he was let go from three temp jobs and unemployed for two and a half months. He was completely unmotivated to do more with his life, like find a steady job, go to school, live on his own… All he wanted to do was stay in his aunt’s basement and play video games, try to get me to work on cars with him, or hang out with his burnout friends that dragged him down as well. I finally wisened up and broke up with him, and he spent the next 3 months trying to get me back- he attempted everything to telling me I’m “the one that got away” and that he knew when he was going to propose, to not giving my stuff back that I had left at his house, all the way to calling me “the biggest bitch he had ever met,” that he “alway knew I was a stuck up cunt,” and that he “needs a girl that will stick with him through the bad and good luck with [my] fairy tale.” He was a real winner. My family and friends breathed much easier when that was overwith.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  CEM16.
Post # 7
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

 

Unfathomably:  I spent 2.5 YEARS with an alcoholic douchebag who was 5 years older than me (for reference: we met when i was in highschool). I spent more time in those 2.5 years driving him to and from detox and rehab and crying than anything else. Paid all of his bills, paid hundred of dollars to have his computer fixed, paid his collection from an unpaid credi card. Gave him spending money. All to be treated like crap, worry about his drunk ass, and alienate myself from my friends and family.

I will say however, ending the relatioship and moving on from that was liberating and a good life experience and helped me determine what I really wanted in life.

Post # 8
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Ugh I’ll probably get judged for this one. I worked at a chain drug store all throughout high school and college. I’d come home on breaks from college to work (I dormed and the school was 3 hours away from home). On one of these breaks, I transferred to a new store where I met my biggest regret. He was HOT. And everyone talked about him. He didn’t have the best reputation and I guess I didn’t care because I was recently out of a serious relationship and wanting to enjoy the rest of my college years. We hung out as friends, then ended up fooling around. We talked on the phone every night while I was away at school, and he came to visit me and stay over on the weekends sometimes. This was the closest it came to being a real relationship, even though we decided to be exclusive since I wasn’t willing to be intimate with someone who was messing around with other girls. I was never one to sleep around casually, but I felt drawn to this guy. This was the one and only time that I ignored my better judgement and ended up in a “relationship” with him. We were supposed to be exclusive, we had talked about it. But one time when I was home from school, I found an earring in his bed. He told me it belonged to a girl we worked with, who I also happened to loathe. So my “relationship” with him basically turned into a way to piss this girl off. Yes, he had cheated on me. But I guess I knew there was no future with him, he was fun to be with and I had the added bonus of pissing off the girl who fooled around with him when she knew we were together. Looking back, what a mess. I finally ended it when I graudated college and decided it was time to stop being stupid. So this whole thing went on for a little over a year. Thankfully, I never really developed feelings for him, and even though he was my “boyfriend,” I knew he was the worst boyfriend ever and kept sleeping with him anyway. Idiot. I met my husband 6 months later and we’ve been together 6 years. So I got the stupid out of my system. Before that loser, I was never so quick to sleep with someone. There was just something about him, at the time. And college was a stressful time, I needed some fun! When I broke things off with him, I ended the friendship as well. Last I heard, he’s working at a different drug store and still being a man whore.

Post # 9
Member
2782 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Unfathomably:  Ummmmmmm. I might top for worst ever.

It would be my son’s dad.

He was an excellent charmer at first- and I really respected him for how he treated me.  That didn’t last long.  He was a closet alcoholic- and it took awhile for me to figure it out.  I got pregnant six months in- and I thought he would clean up his act.  It only got worse.  He not only drank a lot- but spend a ridiculous amout of money doing so.  I tried to do what I thought was “right” for our son, so I stayed with him for many years.  I finally realized that if nothing *truly* changed by now, it was never going to.  We finished out the lease we were in together because I had been staying home without son for a few years and needed to get back on my feet and be financially independent.  I went out, got a serving job so I could be home during the day- and then kicked him out for the last two months of the lease.

He has a good heart- believe it or not, but his bipolar (he ws diagnosed) behavior seems to always trump his intentions.  I feel like I was in a daze for the last few years- and am so happy I finally realized I could leave!

Post # 11
Member
1864 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Unfathomably:  This guy I had dated before meeting my husband. He wasn’t really my type looks wise, but decided to look past it. He was a boring, pessimistic, non-social person –totally opposite of me!! He was a Huge mama AND daddy’s boy. He did whatever they said. He was insecure and very sensitive which I found so annoying (being an Aries gal. He was a cancer, for those into astrology. Terrible match). He’d never really want to do much of anything on the weekends. After three months of not being happy, I broke up with him. Six months later, I met my wonderful husband.

To this day, I wonder… WTF was I thinking with that one. Smh.

Post # 13
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee

Unfathomably:  My worst was the one where I was oblivious to red flag after red flag after red flag.

He was very charismatic and sexy. I was young, naive and completely addicted to him. I couldn’t see clearly. It took me quite a while to figure out that he had a full blown relationship going on with another girl at the same time as me. She was his main priority and I  was his second pick so he gave me crumbs and I settled for it. I’m ashamed to say that my self esteem was so low, that even after I found out about the other girl, I continued to see him off and on. He would feed me a line about how they had broken up, and I would “believe” it for the tenth time. 

I was so screwed up. I wasted years on him, making excuses and settling for crumbs.

It’s one of the reasons why I’m so boot camp now about dating questions and relationship questions. 

I eventually ended it with him and took a hiatus from dating for a few years, to regroup and get my head together. Being in that train wreck of a relationship and surviving it taught me to finally, finally stop messing around, grow a backbone and hold my head high, and get serious about finding a nice guy who was equally serious about settling down.

When I was ready to start dating again, I met DH almost instantly. I signed up for eHarmony and he literally was my first match. 

I know I was lucky to find DH on my first try with online dating. But at the same time I think I had reached a point where I was attracting and drawing that kind of energy back into my life, too.

 

Post # 14
Hostess
9919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

Unfathomably:  Also the guy right before my DH.  He worked at the Blockbuster down the road, he used to come to the bar/restaurant I worked at all the time.  We had a very casual fling that lasted about 2 weeks.  The whole thing was ridiculous – it was a WWIT for sure.  (as was the one before him….)

Post # 15
Member
8073 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Ugh. I hate thinking about exes. So glad I didn’t settle.

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