Post # 1
How did they react? Like I said before, noone in my family has ever joined military stuff and they are going to freak out when they realize my SO wants to join. My mom will go on a spill about how I’ll be a single mom raising our kids and that they won’t really have a daddy ect. What can we both tell them that will make them think more into this that won’t make him joining seem as bad as they think?
Post # 3
@katiecat08: My SO joined when he was 19 (we were together back then too) and my parents were proud of him and his decision to serve. But we also weren’t planning a family back then or anything.
Just let them know that in the end it’s his decision (though I agree if you are married it should be a mutual decision) and he isn’t doing it to get away from being a dad I’m sure.
Let them know how proud you are of him and that you are happy he is taking the path he feels right for him. If you’re not happy about it they won’t be either. If you’re ok with it and they can’t understand then they’ll need time.
Post # 4
@katiecat08: My SO isn’t in the military, but the majority of the males in my family are. What I can tell you is that my dad was gone quite a bit, but my dad is an excellent father, and he is still in the military and we are extremely close. When you marry into the military, you need to accept the fact that there will be times that they are gone, but it isn’t permanent. It seem*s like you’ve accepted this. You won’t be a single mom. There will be times when you are alone, but he can still support you.
I really don’t understand why your parents will be so upset about it. Your SO is doing an extremely honorable thing by joining the military. He will be protecting and serving out country. The great thing about the military is that your SO will ALWAYS have a job if he decides to stay in. After four years, the military will pay for his schooling, which will allow him to move up quickly in ranking.
Let me just say that from a child’s viewpoint, I do remember my dad being gone, but there were also amazing experiences. He worked on a large ship, (Coast Guard) +and he took me on it and let me sleep on the ship with him when he wasn’t underway. My class got to go on a field trip on the ship. He always had a job, and he has amazing friends and relationships with people in the military. Since my dad didn’t go to college, he could actually use that money for my schooling, and I will get my bachelor’s degree soon with no debt.
Also, I have never had to pay a dime for prescriptions or anything because of insurance through the military.
He was gone a lot, but I couldn’t be more proud of his services, and I honestly couldn’t ask for a better upbringing or father.
Sorry for any typos, my dog is jumping all over my laptop.
Post # 5
@katiecat08: My DH joined when he was 17 and my parents (along with everyone else) knew we would get married someday. They were nervous for him and for me but they are VERY proud of my DH.
Military doesn’t mean being a single parent, deployment totally depends on job/rank/branch/ and war. My SIL has three children and her husband is AirForce, he didn’t deploy until 8 years of service and was only on a 6 month tour. He did TDY (temporary duty) to Japan but was only there for 2 months. So really you never know what stuation you will be in…My DH deployed right after one year.
Military has SO many benefits and we are never financially sturggling. Just be a smart spender and you are more than covered! Plus you get to see more of the world! I have lived in two states I would have never thought to live in because of the military and hopefully one day we can expereince living in a different country!
Post # 6
My parents werent too surprised when I told them I wanted to join. I think they always knew since I was a child thats where I was interested in always going.
It was no surprise later on when I met a military man and we were going to get married.
It is hard. Currently my husband is in Afghanistan. He left when my Daughter was 3 weeks old…she is now 10 months old and is still gone. He will not return until she is a year and a half. BUT…this is NOT normal. Luck of the draw we got what is called an IA…so its not like a normal deployment. So here I am raising my daughter on my own. Working full time and exhausted all the time. But know what…no regrets. I am prouid of my husband. He was able to come home for a couple weeks after 6 months…then will be coming home for 10 days here in January, then back out for 6 months and back in July….the time we got this last July…it was precious. I just dont know how to put into words how being Military, and especially with children teaches you to fully appreciate time together. The best way to put it is…its not the quantity of moments you spend together, it the quality of the time spent together.
Anytime he leaves and comes home…you get like that first date feeling all over again…you fall in love all over again. Yes its not all romatic and something out of a movie…its hard..it has its challenges…but it gives us so much too.
Others have already gone over the many benefits of being in the Military. They are right. I no longer am in. Its a lot harder and scary on the civilian side. Around my husbands 10 year mark a few years back he debated getting out…he had soem good job offers. But the benefits outweighed it and he chose to stay in. Our oldest daughter has medical issues…I cant imagine trying to afford her care and medications without the insurance we have through the Military.
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
My parents were excited and proud of FI for joining. My father is retired AF so he was excited to have more to share with FI.
Post # 8
I met my husband when he was already in the military. My mother’s father had been in the Army (but I believe he was out by the time she was born) and one of her cousins to whom she was pretty close had been in the Navy, so it wasn’t a completely foreign idea to her. My husband and I are pretty certain my father was in the military but is remaining tight-lipped about it and denies it, though we have never pressed the matter. When talking to my husband, he “plays dumb” about some things but there are other things he seems to know that would only come from having served at one point, and it would explain a lot about his behavior and personality.
My parent’s are generally pleased and proud about my husband’s service.
Post # 9
@katiecat08: My DH did ROTC to pay for college and his parents were very supportive of that decision. He had since stayed in for several years and intends to stay in as long as possible. His parents are extremely proud of him, and they have pictures up on the wall from his deployments and travels. My parents were surprised when I started dating him because he is actuve duty and is now deployed (I knew this going in). I think my attitude towards it (very proud, very supportive) has helped shape their approach.
I would say the best thing you can do is be 100% supportive of him when you tell your parents. Focus on job security and meaningfulness of his work, IMHO, as well as opportunities for training and advancement. Excellent benefits for you and your kids do not hurt! I would also say don’t hide that you know it will be hard when he deploys, that way they will not think you are naive.