What was/will be your night-before the wedding situaton?

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 4
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@MUAbride2be:  FI and I will be staying in the hotel the night before because our venue is about 2 hours away. We’re having our own room. We’ve lived together for the past 3 1/2 years so I’m not too concerned with the whole traditional not staying together the night before thing. My side of the BP will also be staying in the hotel as well since the RD will be the night before, all on their own dime unless they want to travel 2 hours to go back home and then travel back early as hell the next morning for our late morning ceremony (not going to happen). His side all lives up there so no issue with that.

Post # 5
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’ve always stayed with the bride in a hotel or at someone’s house the night before. Not required, but it’s fun.

IMO yes it’s weird to ask them to contribute. Usually the bride rents the room and offers for all the girls to come stay.

We were out of town so there was no option to stay at home, I stayed in the suite my mom had been renting out, girls stayed as well as there was a pull out couch and a murphy bed. My husband and brother went and stayed in our “honeymoon” room.

For local weddings, it’s been common that us girls do a hotel and the guy stays at home or something. having a large hotel room is nice for everyone getting ready especially if you are having someone come to you to do hair or make up

Post # 8
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@MUAbride2be:  Our venue IS the hotel so that makes it all the easier in the middle of February. It’s all up to them. If they had issues affording it or something then I’d definitely figure something else out but everyone can so no biggie.

Post # 9
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@MUAbride2be:  What I would suggest: Ask your girls if they want to stay at the hotel before you make the plans. Traveling an hour does sound like a long drive, but they may NEED to be home the night before to feed the dog, see their SO, or prepare for the next day. Make sure they are ok with the hotel plan before you shell out the dough. Also, keep it small. I don’t know if you have 7 BMs or 3, but 7 would be way too much and you would never sleep.

What I am doing: 2 BMs (sisters) are staying with my parents and 1 BM is staying at her home. Last BM is staying at our house with me. FI is staying at the hotel where the reception is with his GM and parents. I want to sleep in my own bed, but I don’t want to be alone, so my one BM is staying with me to force me to bed before midnight and make sure I get up on time.

Post # 10
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

We live together. I’m kicking my fiancé out to stay at his parents’ house that night, and that’s where he will get ready for the wedding with his boys. I’ll be getting ready at home with my MOH and bridesmaid. I’m having the bridesmaid for sure soend the night with me because she is horrendous at time management, and I know if she had to come to my house that morning that she’d be super late and mess up the whole schedule. So I want to keep her under my control! Not sure if my MOH will come too. 

Post # 11
6158 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

we had the rehearsal dinner friday night around the corner from the hotel.  some of my relatives came into town on friday night.  i stayed at the hotel with my mom and brother. 

my girls came to RD, but went home that night.  they are around 30 min away.

DH stayed at our house with the BM, he came to the hotel the next day to get ready with his groomsmen.



Post # 12
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

To be fair this is no hard & fast rule on this one when it comes to where The Bride stays the night before.  It is a “tradition / custom” more than anything else.

First Wedding when I was 20-ish, I did the “more traditional thing” and stayed at my Parent’s House… and My Groom stayed with His Parents at the Hotel.

This time round…

Mr TTR & I stayed together in the same Hotel Room, because altho we ever so briefly entertained the idea of staying apart which can be fun / ramp up the excitement the next day… (and I would have done that if we were married in Myrtle Beach… he at the condo, me in a Hotel Room, that we would have then used for our Wedding Night)… BUT as we ended up getting married in The Florida Keys and at a Resort where the Rooms were MEGA Expensive, we just stayed together.

Infact, we took our Honeymoon Suite at the Resort for 3 Nights in total… so time to settle in before the Wedding, as well as a base camp for the Wedding & Wedding Night.

Best decision ever… our Honeymoon Suite was awesome… EXPENSIVE… but a beyond FABULOUS Room !!  One of the best memories from our whole “getting married” part of our trip.

As for your Maids…

Traditional Etiquette would dictate that The Bride & Groom should be arranging for / paying for accommodations for their Bridal Party for 2 Nights (Rehearsal Evening & Wedding Night) so ya it would be pretty tacky for you to ask them to cough up money for a group sleep-over.

I would think that a group in a Hotel Suite is going to work out to be a lot cheaper than a bunch of individual rooms… so consider yourself having gotten off lucky.

Hope this helps,


Post # 13
2792 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My MOH and I will be spending the night at my parents, every one else will be in a hotel, including my FI. 

We are getting hotel rooms for our wedding party.  Since most of them are attached with about 3 exceptions out of the 11 they are staying with their SOs, but sharing a room with another person or couple who they know.  Early in our relationship, when we were doing the long distance thing, my FI was asked to stay over night at a friends for his wedding.  This was pretty much sprung on him.  He told the friend not so politely “You can’t do this at the last minute.  My stuff is at MissWhos’s and this is the only time I get to see her this month”  Because of this, we don’t like seperating couples. 

Post # 14
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My fiance and I cohabitate in the city we’re having the reception, his parents live elsewhere, and mine live in the city we’re having the ceremony (35 minutes out of our city).

He’ll be spending the night before the wedding at our house, his parents will be at the hotel, and I will be spending the night at my parents’ house.

Staying at my parents house that night are also my younger sister (MOH), older sister (bridesmaid) and her family (BIL, 3 nephews). It will be a packed house. We’re all getting ready there in the morning. Two of the nephews are ring bearers, and I have 4 other bridesmaids who will be headed over in the morning.

Oy vey. Almost makes me want to get ready in a hotel so that I know I’ll be well-rested, but wouldn’t give up the memories of the family for the world.

Post # 15
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

None of my bridesmaids (or me right now, but hopefully I’ll move before the wedding) live in the state where the wedding is, so we’re all staying at hotels. My sister’s at a different one and my other three are at the one where our room block is, and I’ll be staying with the only single bridesmaid.

Post # 16
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MUAbride2be:  I stayed at my apartment and one of my BM’s stayed with me. The others were invited but I knew they would have to sleep on the couch or an airmatress as we only had a one bedroom at the time so I was happy with just the one. My husband stayed at a friends house.

I wouldnt ask your friends to contribute to the hotel if you want them to stay with you though. If you are going to spend the money on a room anyway, you should cover the cost.

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