Weddingbee boards

Hello fellow bees!

Just wondering what wedding planning "events" everyone included their in-laws with?  My FI's two sisters will be standing up in our wedding party, and his brother will be the best man.  My FI is the youngest of 4 from a very close family, so I think everyone is pretty excited to be involved.  But they do live about 1.5 hours from us, and about 2 hours from my family (we live an hour from my family). 

I should back up and briefly say his family and I had a bit of a falling out a few months ago when I mentioned having an adult only reception.  Being that the FI has 8 neices/nephews (most under 4), and the wedding venue is not really a kid-friendly place, I thought this would be a good approach since his siblings are all in the wedding and we don't really have extra room to invite babysitters, etc.  However, they took it really hard, where they said some very hurtful things about me and our relationship.  Fast forward 4 months, we have all said apologies and moved past this for the most part (as many of you can imagine, it takes a bit of time for hurt feelings to heal and true forgiveness to happen).

Now I'm stuck with what to include them on.  For instance, wedding dress shopping.  I went once with the whole bridal party (besides FI's sisters and mom), and went again with just my sisters.  I feel like that might be hurting his mom's feelings, as this is her last baby getting married.  However, dress shopping is 2+ hours from her, plus things are still a little awkward as I know she really watches what she says to me, and everyone else in my family/friends knows the situation.  It just seems our planning ideas are very different, so it's hard to include her, but I know I should.

Help please!  What did everyone else do?  The FI's family will be invited to the showers, bachelorette party, etc. that my family throws, but what about dress shopping/picking out?

Thanks Bees!

I don't think you need to include them in anything other than the shower, possibly the bachelorette party since his sisters are your BMs, and the rehearsal dinner.  I would never have considered including his mom dress shopping or anything else really.  Honestly unless she was paying for something specifically I wouldn't think twice about it.

Thanks for the comments thus far!  It's comforting to know I'm at least on the right track, and I appreciate the ideas of events I can include her/them on that aren't too personal where I feel nervous.