(Closed) What wedding present to give when our wedding is 6 weeks later?

posted 5 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: What present should we give them?
    Cash/check for our normal gift amount : (12 votes)
    26 %
    Gift from their registry, same dollar amount : (34 votes)
    74 %
    Other (described below) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2425 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I agree with your thinking, I would probably get something off their registry so it’s not as easy to compare “apples to apples”. Even if you spend the same dollar amount, it just won’t feel the same as exchanging equal check amounts if that makes sense.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5494 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    If they mentioned they are tight on money that’s even more reason to give them money.  They are adults and should be able to figure out how much to give you within their budget.  I would just gift normally and not worry about it.

    Post # 5
    Member
    248 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I would get them something off their registry. If it’s on their registry, then they want/need it, so they’ll still benefit, but it won’t be as blatent as cash. That is a tricky situation though. I have three friends getting married within the six weeks before my wedding. All of them have a much, muuuuch larger budget than we do, so I’m kind of worried about the opposite happening! Haha. However, if one of them were to get us a really nice gift, we would just reciprocate with what we can afford. And be very grateful to them! Of course!

    Post # 7
    Member
    1 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I’m very new school and think cash is king! It can only help couples and they can put it towards the cost of a very expensive wedding! What does everyone else thing? Surely in this day and age, newley weds already have all the ‘stuff’ they need to start life together?

    Post # 8
    Member
    9057 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I would just give them your normal amount in cash if that’s what you’d usually do.  Better to be able to put that money aside and just hand it back to you, than to receive a physical item that you feel like it would be ungrateful to return, and STILL feel like you need to buy you guys the same cost of gift.

    Post # 9
    Member
    248 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @CityBearBride: In all honesty, I’m not sure that it matters. I know what the items on my registry cost, so if they buy my $300 pots’n’pan set, I’m going to know they spent $300 on me regardless. So maybe you should just do what you normally do? They might feel a little bad, but I don’t think they’d spend more on you than they could swing.

    Post # 11
    Member
    11352 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    Whether your give them your usual, very generous gift of cash, or whether you purchase something from their registry, they’ll still have a pretty good idea of what you spent on their gift (allowing for some uncertainty, given any sale or discount coupon from which you may have been able to benefit when purchasing their registry item.)

    You really cannot go wrong by giving the couple cash. They have to dip into their own pockets to either give you cash or purchase something from your registry.  By giving the couple cash, you’re only making it easier — not more difficult — for them to have the funds to give you a gift.

    On the other hand, many people enjoy receiving physical, tangible gifts that, years later, they can reflect with fondness about so-and-so having given to them on a special occasion in their lives.  If you give them cash, it likely will disappear quickly or will be combined with cash from others for a larger item or purpose such as helping to fund the couple’s honeymoon expenses.  If you purchase the steak knives and glasses, the couple likely will think of you at times when using these items.

    It’s really up to you to decide what you’d prefer to give them, but I wouldn’t be concerned about giving them cash.  The only caveat that I will add, however, is that, if you do give cash, you cannot reasonably expect that this couple will give you a gift that is anywhere near the value of the one you gave to them.  If they do, that’s great.  However, if money is tight for them, they may only be able to afford to give you an item (or cash) that amounts to a fraction of what you gave to them.

    Post # 12
    Member
    604 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Give them a gift you feel comfortable with.  Hopefully they’ll do the same and not feel obligated to match the amount you gave, if they can’t afford it.  On a side note, you sound like a generous friend. 🙂

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    9057 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    @CityBearBride:  right. But my point is the same as Brielle’s below.  I’d hate to give an extravagant gift to someone and them have to either return it or scramble to find the cash to gift you back Equally if they feel pressure to do so. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    6207 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    @CityBearBride: I think your newest plan is a good one, since they might see a large gift, boxed or cash, as something they would have to match, but this splits it up and they can treat for dinner somewhere else when they have the cash if they want to

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    990 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Cash is tight for us and for the groomsmen (2 of the 3 are getting married this year) so we made a deal, Please be at my wedding and I will be at yours. No gift exchange.

    Now I can understand if this doesn’t work for you so think about this.

    You have 1 year after the wedding to send a gift. you also have the perfect excuse to use this rule- your own wedding is a little over a month away! Wait to see what they do (and hope they are not doing the same) and then you can decide from there.

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