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What will you (or do you) call your mother-in-law?
This is a question that has haunted my mom for over 30 years. She still doesn't know what to call her mother-in-law! She still feels awkward calling her by her first name, but calling her Mrs. ____ just sounds weird! She usually just resorts to "Grandma". My FMIL is a teacher, so I guess she will be Mrs. ____ because that's what she's used to. My mom had a conversation with my FI about this one and gave him suggestions so it wouldn't be awkward for him. But he's still trying to figure it out. :)
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I have avoided using any name at all for almost 5 years now...
by her first name... ive never entertained the thought to call her anything else and she hasnt offered, but her other sons wives call her ma or YaYa (greek for grandmother). my FMIL has made a few comments about how distant i am with her (its just that we have zero in common except her son) so she most prob knows i wont stop using her first name
Mr. Bunny's parents are fine with me calling them by their first names and we get along fantastically!
I didn't know what I'd call her! Then I wrote a blog about it, saying how I wasn't sure what to call her, and my MIL read my blog and emailed me and told me that I should call her "Mom" or whatever I want! So I call her mom :) That was a really passive way to solve the problem, but hey, it worked!
I haven't really settled in on something yet. I wanted to try to call her "mom" but it just feels weird. I think I'm most comfortable with calling her by her first name, but I think she wants me to call her mom. She signs emails to me as "Mom". I think that's what she would prefer, but I just don't feel right about it. This is also complicated by the fact that I totally don't mind calling my FIL "dad". I don't have a relationship with my dad, so it doesn't feel as weird as saying "mom".
In-laws are hard!
I think my parents would prefer "mom" and "dad" but my husband and I decided long ago that it would always be first names only. Everything else feels too awkward.
i call my in laws by their first names, as does their other DIL. My husband also calls my parents by their first names. I can't imagine us calling our in laws mom and dad!
He calls my mom "mom" and my dad matt. I don't call his dad anything, i just talk to him. His mom and I don't even talk...so. Don't know what to do about that one!
I usually don't refer to either of them by name - I feel silly calling them by their first names (I'm definitely NOT calling them Mom and Dad). To them it's totally normal to be called by their first names so I just keep reminding myself that. But when I'm talking to my FMIL or FFIL about the other (like, where is ____ today?) I feel SO dumb saying the missing one's first name. Oh well. I'm just grateful we get along so well. My FI has NO problem calling my parents by their first names and has since he met them and my brother in law who has been married to my sister for ten years still can't bring himself to call them by their first names (they never told him to) so now that there are grandchildren he calls my parents what the kids call them!
I call them by their first names....I think it will take a while to call them mom and dad as it was a hard enough transition from Mr___ & Mrs_____
When I'm talking about my future in laws to other people, I call them Mr & Mrs. When I address a thank you card or something to them- I write Mr. & Mrs.
But in person I, like Mr. Bee, have skillfully avoided calling her anything specific over the last few years.
We haven't addressed the issue, but their family is weird when it comes to formal names. They call all their aunts & uncles by their first names and they all go by their middle names. It's just confusing to me lol. I wouldn't even know what name to call his mother!
I don't call her anything....I totally thought I'd just call her whatever my FSIL called her. But then I found out in the five years since her wedding she's never called them anything...so...I went with that. I thought if I started calling them something it would make it even more obvious and awkward that she doesn't. So now we can both be awkward.
@sparkle: Haha. Keep it up and you'll be like my mom after 30 years! :)
I have a great relationship with my FILs so I call them Nancy and Brian :) I really see them more as friends than anything else. Never ever would I call either of them Mom or Dad. I have a mom and dad already, thanks. Personally I think it's weird, but if that's what you're comfortable with then more power to ya.
I use her first name, but it was hard getting comfortable with it!
LOL @ MrBee! I'm in the same boat as I haven't really called them directly by any name (in 3.5 years)! When I send them Xmas cards or postcards, I write "Dear Mr. and Mrs.____". But to their face, I don't recall ever calling them their names or by Mr. or Mrs.
I call them by their first names. My fmil signs her emails "mom," but I don't ever see being comfortable calling her that.
Mom! My Mother died 20 years ago and its great having a Mom again.
I call my in-laws mom and dad. My husband does the same with my mom and dad.
My fiance's parents usually go by their nicknames, not their first names, and that's what I call them. Coincidentally enough, my parents also go by nicknames, and that's what fiance calls them too :-)
I try to avoid calling them anything (I rarely use people's names anyway), but if pressed I use their first names. When they call me, they identify themselves by their first names, so I figure that's what we'll go with. It would feel really forced to me to call them Mom and Dad or anything like that.
That's a hard one. It makes me uncomfortable to call anyone else other then my mother and father, mom and dad. I feel that the name is special and belongs to the people who raised me. But I think I will call them by their first names. Mr. and Mrs. to me implies that you respect them, but do not know them very well to be on a first name basis. But honestly now that I think about it, I haven't really called them anything in the 3 years since we have been dating. His mom signs her emails MA but that is her initials! So who knows!!!
I just call them by their first names, maybe I'll call her mom in the future 
It was natural for me to call my boy's parents Mom and Dad almost as soon as we got engaged. Dad took a little longer, but not much :) I love it. They love me as much as they love their children, and I know that I'm incredibly, incredibly lucky for it.
@sparkle... how the heck does someone marry into the family for 5yrs and never address their spouses parents by ANY name. not just mum or dad but zero name reference whatsoever - that has me giggling all the way over here
"So now we can both be awkward" heheheheh,
I just call them by their first names, maybe I'll call her mom in the future
First name only. I've never called any SO's parents by anything but their first names. FI is still uncomfortable using my mother's first name, but he's forced to use it.
On the other hand, he calls my grandmother "Gram" just like everyone else with no problem.
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I call my future in laws by their first names. I work with them so I had to get used to it quick. My fiance calls my dad by his nickname and from the first time he met my mother he has called her "Mom" or "M-O-M". He thinks it's funny because in Australia, it's "Mum". Basically he was making fun of my accent and it stuck!
Since I have known my FMIL, I have always called her by her first name. My FFIL was called Mr. Roddy until he moved in then I called him by his first name. It is just easier this way.
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My FI and I have been dating for almost 8 years and eventhough I adore his mom I still don't know what to call her. Mom doesn't feel right and calling her by her first name just seems weird. I have successfully avoided calling her anything on a regular basis since we've been together. I've called her by her first name a few times just to try it out and I think that's probably what I'll have to do. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels weird about this.
I met his parents when we were just friends and I was 19, so they were Mr. and Mrs. Seven years later, after five years of dating, I haven't been able to transition to calling them by their first names. I'm pretty sure that's what they'd prefer, since that's how they identify themselves on the phone when they call. I asked the boy, and he just shrugged and said "I have no idea".
He's got it easy. My parents have gone by their first names with my friends since they got divorced ages ago. Still, I think he also avoids using their names.
My sister laughs, because at the top of our guest list are my mom and dad, followed by Mr. and Mrs.
Oh well, maybe I'll figure it out in the next 30 years. I could just ask them, but that would be too easy. 
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I call her them by their first names, they always sign emails and cards mom and dad. I still call them by their first names .. lol
I'm on a first name basis with them! I reserve "mom" and "dad" for my own 'rents.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't call the in-laws anything! I called them "Mr. and Mrs." for a long time, until FMIL insisted I call them by their first names. However, I really don't have a very open or comfortable relationship with them, and it felt so awkward for me to call them by their first names. It never even occurred to me that I would ever call them Mom and Dad! So, mostly I just talk directly to them and don't really refer to them as anything. Speaking of awkwardness, my FI and I have been together for nearly seven years, and since our engagement 2 months ago, my FMIL has suddenly started saying "I love you" to me on the phone. The first time she said it I was so taken aback I think I said something ridiculous like "thanks." 
I use their first names! But then, I also met them in my late twenties... I think {your} age often makes a difference.
I call my FMIL by her first name.
My fiance calls my mother by the name half the nickname half the neighbourhood calls her by "Gammy" (Short for Grandma). She is a very proud Grandmother to my niece and nephew (and half the kids and their parents in the neighbourhood, my mother loves mothering and grandmothering people) my SIL also calls her Gammy, and half the time so do my brother and I . She actually cried the first time he called her Gammy and not by her first name, because she said it felt like he was family now. Its probably a little strange that he is technically calling her Grandma but as she said all the people she loves all her that so she likes it.
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