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finding a job where So lives, getting engaged to SO, finding an apartment with SO (hopefully FI by then)... all by October. AHHH. Oh, and graduating from my master's program.
@love108: I hear you...FI starts med school in a totally new city in august. which means in july we'll have to move. about a month after our wedding. i will have to find a new job, a place to live, etc. all while he starts med school. he'll have a totally new and different schedule, people he has to spend time with all of the time, etc. I'll have to be the one that establishes us and then makes a social life for myself outside of our marriage. he'll be so busy and i'll have to branch out in ways i haven't had to before or haven't in a long time. i'm scared shitless.
I'm getting anxious just looking at this list. LoL
@akp0702: I suffer from anxiety as well. I have had a couple of panic episodes. It's terrifying. But yeah... 2012 is a big year. SO's doing his Ph.D. so he's living in a rural area where his school is..not exactly job-finding friendly... we shall see.... first step: graduate in August.
I worry the most about school (FI and I both want to get into an accelerated nursing program together) Its become a daily stressor, with excessive panic attacks. I guess the main thing to remember is to keep it cool, because nothing will get it done if you spend all your energy worrying.
@atalante: so can i...that's why I was able to compile so many things. haha?? (yes I mean to put a question mark. LAUGHING TO KEEP FROM CRYING)
You don't have an "all of the above." lol. I really could've written your post at certain points. I've never seen a shrink but I know that I am prone to anxiety and I can tell when it is weighing on me. And part of me thinks that it is irrational because the list of things that i genuinely worry about is so varied, and contains so many things I can't control (such as money, my healthy, family's health, my pet's health, my job stability, my fi's job stability, our general job happiness or lack thereof, whether one or both of us should switch careers, whether we're prepared for a financial crisis, what is going to happen to this country, what if there was a natural disaster here, what if war broke out in america, what if what if what if). And I'd agree with you as well that it isn't about my husband at all. Our relationship is the one thing I almost never stress about and is always the best part of my day.
I guess I don't really have any advice for you. Maybe you should see someone about that xanax? I have very seriously considered getting a therapist because even though I feel like I function just fine in life, and I am a generally happy person, I know that my anxiety weighs on me to a level that is probably abnormal. Of course I haven't taken my own advice here because I worry about the money.... lol. But your'e definitely not alone. For me at least, the thing that generally helps me the most is just identifying that a lot of what i'm feeling probably isn't rational. If I can identify it as anxiety I can realize that for me, this period of heaviness will probably be relatively short-lived and then I can go about my merry way.
@love108: it is terrifying!! i'm glad to know someone can relate. it makes me feel weak but i just can't help my anxiety sometimes. wedding planning on top of everything else that's happening in the very near future has made me hyper sensitive, more irrational, more doubtful of my abilities, etc. the anxiety makes me feel so weak sometimes. i feel like a stronger person wouldn't have such bad anxiety
LOL, I had to pick just one? I picked money because that's about the solution to all the rest of my worries! Our upcoming wedding depends almost entirely on me getting a big grant. I have to finish my dissertation proposal, study for a qualifying exam, get money for fieldwork for my dissertation, get married, do my fieldwork overseas, get my and my daughter's visa to the US to join the boy, move to the US, get my daughter registered in school... all by the end of August :p
You're definitely not the only one with a lot on your plate and feeling really overwhelmed. Sometimes what I find works to calm me down (especially in the days/week after I've had a panic attack) is to completely unplug - put the computer away, don't pick up the phone, have a bath or read or get a massage or go for a long walk. Just something that's just you, that you don't really need to think about. I'm one of those people who finds it really hard to clear my head when I'm worried, so sometimes the only thing that works is to remove myself from anything that might get my worries started again, if that makes sense. Hope you feel better soon!
Ugh, I would constantly be in a state of worry if I didn't watch it. I worry about anything and everything but I've really made a conscious effort to figure out if my worries are genuine and something I can address now, or something that is beyond my control. If it's the latter, I am pretty good about putting it out of my head once I've come to that conclusion.
Our big worry now is where we're going to live next year. My British/Aussie DH and I are ready to leave Australia and are tossing up the UK, US, and Canada. The UK and Canada would be through work, which would be great, but the US would be starting anew for him career wise. We also know we'll disappoint one side of the family - his is in the UK, mine is in the US, and that worries us. We also have a new baby arriving in June so that worries us too, not knowing where we're going to be! All big worries, but we're not fixating on them now as they're beyond our control. No point in looking for jobs now as we're not planning on moving for at least another 9 months. No point in stressing about the extended families as we'll have to make this decision based on the best job prospects for DH. And no point in worrying about moving with the baby because it's just something we'll have to do.
And with that, I have put my worries out of my head for right now! Good luck taking everything one day at a time!
@CorgiTales: I wasn't kidding about the xanax hahah! I've been perscribed before by my gyno but only for long flights (i get anxious about flights...shocker!!). FI finally sat me down and said he really thinks i need to go talk to her or someone and that a .25 mg rx may help me take a breather. I am hoping it will take the edge off. times like these I wish FI was already a doctor so he could just write the rx for me and save me the copay $$! the panic attack the other night was not okay.
oh god the irony...just had to leave the house to deal with lots of future in-law drama. wow.
Hmm....not much of that stuff, but tons of other things! I worry about death, I worry about loved ones getting hurt (or dying). I don't have any family or friends that are "dramatic", I just worry about the unknown and unexpected. I worry about not being able to get/stay pregnant when we TTC next year. I worry that I won't get things done in time for my wedding. I worry about my weight. Stuff like that. Maybe I'm weird.
I'm worried that our country is onthe verge of a big change. I am used to what we have and in our lives and don't know what the changes will bring. Also I feel like the " America" I believed I'm as a kid growing up is not reality. And me and my FI are starting our lives together bit how do u plan things when times r changing?
@Juliepants: all ones i worry about as well. especially weight and the unkown. in a fit of coming to terms with mortality the other week i was beside myself with anxiety over the fact that yes, everyone I love will die. that's just the truth. i hadn't really ever stopped to think about it. then i'm looking around at FI and our dog and thinking about my mom and dad and brother and screaming in my head "dammit y'all!! why did you make me love you so much if you're just going to die some day!!!" it especially freaks me out about FI...one of us has to go first. i can't imagine it. omg lifeee is so....real sometimes...
@sunnywoods: i can't wrap my mind around the change sometimes. i wonder what is in the near future for the country
Health. I have health problems, so my main goal is to be relatively well. Losing my SO comes next in my worry list. Then comes the money.
Is it bad that I probably could have checked more than half of those boxes? I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder which I GENERALLY manage to keep in check. Some days though, I feel like I'm about 2 seconds away from breaking down. I used to take medicine but decided that just wasn't the right thing for me and have been off for a few years. It's tough...especially when so many of those things are legitimately worrisome!! So trust me, I feel your pain! Btw, if I had to make a "top three" I'd probably say: Money, Home Repairs, Job.
ooooooooooh my God...where to begin. I like to tell myself I have a million reasons to be stressed & anal. I remember the wedding planning...i'd just cry sometimes. Once I cried to my cake lady. She didn't even KNOW ME. I cried to her on the phone for like 15 mins......I can't believe I did that sh** just for a wedding. We shoulda eloped....by the way, to make cake lady's life suck even more than having to talk on the phone to woe is ME, we didn't even hire her at the end of it. poor cake lady
@Akp0702: Um, I popped a xanax the morning of my wedding. MY MOH & mom did too....we's all nutjobs apparently:) (yay for a kite-high bridal party!) I also had some night-quil the night before so I could sleep. SO SAD. I swear I AM NORMAL...OR WAS...whatever...
@akp0702: bbbbbaahahahahaha i just noticed your GYNO rxed your xanax? Whos gyno even knows them that well? That's .......kinda nice.
@TurtleDoves: I'm seriously considering nyquil the night before. Hm!
@AmeliaBedelia: Me, too! I am such a worrier - I have had serious bouts with intense anxiety throughout my life. And it is so hard not to worry when these things are legitimate worries (rather than those creepy horror movie images that keep me up at night).
Money and mortality are my two biggest worries. And oddly enough, I'm probably in the best situation I've ever been in my whole life, financially speaking but I still worry. When you grow up basically poor, with a paycheck-to-paycheck life, suddenly stopping worrying about money just isn't going to happen.
And as for mortality, I swear I think about this at least once a day. I'm always super worried that something is going to happen to my mom or my FI. And for my own mortality, I don't so much worry about actually dying, but what happens after you die. I'm not Christian and I have absolutely NO friggin' clue what I think about an afterlife, so I wonder/worry about that.
@TurtleDoves: Oh I've cried to random people too!! And asking my gyno for xanax pre-international flight was actually my doctor-uncle's suggestion. I'm glad I took him up on it becasue it saved me another doctor's appointment/referral/etc. I just told her I'd been feeling really anxious and crying at the though of the long flight (just telling her about it made me nervous and I start crying, so she knew I wasn't just bullshitting her!) and she said "ok, you're obviously VERY anxious about this..." and that was that! It helped me tremendously. I don't know if I'd have gotten on the planes otherwise!!
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So, in the past few days I have just been so....anxious? I had a panic attack a couple of days ago, and I'm just feeling so panicky, rushed, spread thin, sad....ugh??? I don't know. Planning the wedding as a person who is already prone to anxiety is tough when the timeframe gets smaller and smaller. But there are a handful of non-wedding related things coming up on the horizon that are always in the back of my mind and I know are adding to my stress level. I think I need a massage and an Rx for Xanax. Major life changes that occur right after our wedding are totally freaking me out, the fact that my precious dog-baby will likely need a hip surgery sooner than later breaks my heart. Some days in the past couple weeks I just want to cry (and usually do).
Has anyone else experienced major stress or anxiety during wedding planning? This has literally nothing to do with FI...the fact that I get to marry him is the only light at the end of this opressive tunnel some days. But difficulties with his mom and lots of projects at work along with the other stuff listed is just...so, so much some days.
It got me thinking about what else contributes to daily worry. Please tell me I'm not alone is feeling overwhelmed!