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that's a tough situation. i voted to exchange it, but you have to approach it delicately. obviously he's feeling a little insecure about his purchase because he keeps telling you that you can take it back if you want. i would try to explain it by saying something like you think these are beautiful, but you'd rather have something you can wear everyday to remind you of him. his feelings might be a little hurt, but maybe you can go together to pick out the new pair so he's involved?
What I would do depends on the quality of the jewelry. If it was relatively inexpensive costume/novelty jewelry, I'd keep it and try to let it grow on me and find some way to work it into outfits (I have done this with some of FI's purchases). But if it were fine jewelry, and it cost a substantial amount of money, I'd let FI know how beautiful I found it and how much I loved certain qualities of the jewelry (ie, the quality of the stone, the style of the earring, whatever), but that I thought I'd get a lot more wear out of if it were something more to my tastes. If he spend a good chunk of change on it, I'd assume that he'd want me to love it and get as much wear out of it as possible! So basically, I'd tell him how appreciative I was, and tell him how beautiful I found it, but let him know that I'd like to consider exchanging it for something I'd wear more often, and of course ask him to accompany me on the selection process so he feels his opinion is valued and we can both agree that we like the new gift. Let him down gently. It's a lose-lose if you don't really wear the jewelry because it's not quite for you, and then in a few months a hurt DH asks why you never wear his gift!
honestly, i would just wear them. you'll probably grow to love them because they're something he picked out just for you.
For certain jewelry (and gifts in general) I think it's easier to just smile, say thank you, and keep your mouth shut. Given what he spent on them (I am assuming based on what you wrote) I would say something like, "They are lovely but I can't stop thinking about those studs." He has already given you the go ahead to exchange them so take him up on it since you can actually get what you want. You will get what you want and he can see you enjoy them, which is probably what he wants too.
I say exchange them. You don't like them and he said exchange them if you want. FH has bought me some really ugly jewelry before and I didn't say anything. Oh how I regret thatl. I still have a rhinestone and plastic kitty necklace that FH paid WAAAY to much for, now 3 years later I've never worn it and he even admits its ugly and wishes I would have taken it back and gotten something I liked.
I think you should exchange them. In the short term, your DH may be a littel hurt but he has told you that you are welcome to do so. In the long run, your DH is going to be much happier seeing you wear a pair of earrings you love than having the first ones he picked out sitting in a jewelery box, barely touched.
Every relationship is different but I have always been very open with my husband about jewelery. I remember for our year anniversary he picked out this lovely pandora bracelet. It meant so much to me that he picked it out himself! I don't wear braclets much but it was SO pretty and I started wearing it. The problem was, that it was constantly pulling at the hairs on my arm and was very uncomfrotable. I felt bad, but told DH about it (he was then just BF). We returned it and ended up going to another store where I picked out a gorgeous diamond and pink sapphire ring that I LOVE and wear all the time. DH has told me that if he's spending a substantial amount of money on something, he wants me to love it! Which is why we went engagement ring shopping so often. And he took me with him to get my Christmas present because it was diamond studs and he wanted me to be happy with them. If your husband spent a significant amount of money on them and has said it's alright if you exchange them, I would let him know how you're feeling.
since he said it was okay if you wanted to exchange them, i would. maybe you would grow to love them, but maybe not and why waste the money on something you may never like. if it was inexpensive jewelry i would say keep it cause it's not that big of a loss financially.
I would exchange them. Lord knows my mother's exchanged a ton of stuff my dad's bought her on a whim, and he never takes it personally.
I'd just keep it positive and say something along the lines of, "These are beautiful, but I think some simple diamond studs would be more my style, and since they'd go with everything, I'd be able to show them off a lot more!"
He gave you the go ahead and take them back, right? He meant for you to wear and enjoy them, right? He wouldn't want them sitting unused in your jewelry box, right?
Take them back and get yourself something you love and will wear! It sure beats him asking why you don't ever wear them and trying to find an excuse that sounds good enough!
Exchange them. DH got me a ring for my wedding gift (ummm what was he thinking?!) which was a lovely thought, but maybe not the most well thought out. I was so scared to tell him, I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but finally I broke down and told him I didn't really love it and I didn't picture myself wearing it very often and he took me to exchange it for something else. He wanted me to have a piece (I actually ended up with earrings and a necklace, so pieces) I would wear often and think of him and our wedding day. The ring itself was somewhat inconsequential. I'm sure he'll understand and I would approach it delicately. Most guys though are all about value for $$ so I'm sure he'd rather you have something you would wear more! ;)
I would exchange them since he offered and it's just a birthday present. I thik it's a bit different to exchanging the ring.
I vote exchange. Don't keep something you don't love if it is a pricey/real piece of jewelry, ever! It will only sit in a box, collecting dust (at least that is my motto!)
I had a similar issue last year with my birthday gift. My DH had bought me a watch which was exactly what I wanted - except I envisioned a simple, stainless Fossil and he picked out a beautiful (but pricey, as in half the cost of my ring) Swiss with diamonds and a pink mother of pearl face. I never even put it on because it felt silly to have such an expensive watch for daily wear - it was my first watch, ever! We discussed it and I ended up going to another store and looking for something similar to what he purchased, without the diamonds or colored face. I wear it every day and next to my wedding ring, it is my favorite piece of jewelry.
I don't know what I would do. SO bought a bracellet for me for my birthday a month ago and turned around and said...before I even opened the box he would take it and get something else if I didn't like it..I'm more the sentimental type and no matter what it looked like it was from him. Only time I've taken it off since November was to sleep and shower. On the other hand my Dad bought me a bracellet for my birthday too, and I hated it but didn't want to hurt his feelings so I wore it with a smile until mysteriously it started to pinch my wrist. (SMH).
Thanks, hive - appreciate the input. Yes, it is a pricey piece - which is part of my problem. He got really high quality diamonds (even though they aren't big) and I ended up asking how much they were and my mouth dropped.
That said - I wouldn't let them sit in my jewelry box and would probably wear them on a weekly basis, if not more often - mostly because other than some pearl/diamond earrings I bought for myself, they are my only pair of 'real' earrings.
I guess my biggest issue with them is they don't look all that special. I guess I always assumed when I got to the stage of shelling out this much money for jewelry, I'd want it to make a statement. The earrings basically look like they are fake and are kind of boring. I suppose perfect for everyday wear - but I don't want to wear boring jewelry.
I'm still struggling with the lever clasp, so - we'll see. I do love them when I see them - they are just nothing I would normally pick out for myself....
I would keep them.. its more about the symbol than the actual earrings themselves. A few years ago FI bought me some shoes, that I would never have bought for myself. I just planned to wear them once and then hide them under my bed, but there were so comfortable and I got lots of compliments on them that i ended up loving them
For me, if its something that is nice and I can appreciate the quality and design, but is just not my style I would keep it an wear it.
However, if it were truly ugly, then I would exchange it. (of if for some reason it were uncomfortable)
I got a nice David Yermin (?) bracelet that I know is fashionable and not cheap, but its not my style at all. I kept it and wear it to work when it matches (it has a blue stone in it). Its nice, but not something I would have picked out myself.
My partner & I are really open about things like this, whenever we buy gifts for each other like jewellery or clothing without the other we are sure to keep the reciepts, because no matter how well we think we know each other or how much we think the other would adore X item, we are human and we are different.
When it comes to jewellery it can be really hit and miss.
I would talk to him about it, but try not to be harsh-- I don't think he would mention exchanging them if he wasn't at least somewhat ok with the idea--though every reationship is different so you'll have to be the judge on how to tread.
I'd keep them. His feelings would probably be hurt if you took them back, especially if this is the first piece he got you on his own (not counting the e-ring).
Oohhh because they are expensive you should take them back. I'm sure he wants his money invested wisely and in something you'll wear!!
If they weren't expensive then he probably wouldn't notice if they gathered dust in the bottom of your jewelery box!
And besides, no matter how good you lie - he can read you like a book. Plus he'll notice when you're not wearing them.
You could really go either way with this. It sounds like your husband was very clear that you should exchange them if you don't like them, and it is definitely important to establish a precedent in your marriage that you can both feel free to be honest and end up with the gifts you want, so you don't have to feel like you're ever at risk of sadlding the other person with the wrong thing just out of their sense of guilt. On the other hand, the earrings you described sound beautiful and it doesn't seem like you have a horrible objection to them, they just happen to not be the specific perfect ones you would have selected for yourself. Because of that, I'd bet that you'll likely come to love them if you start wearing them. It really is possible for a person's sense of style to expand after wearing something that is somewhat outside of the box for them, and I think you'll enjoy them more because he gave them to you. So I think if I were you I'd keep them and see if I grow to love them as I wear them, but please don't hesitate in the future to fess up if your husband gets you something that is truly just wrong for you. Otherwise he'll never learn what he's doing wrong in the gift-guessing game.
@oracle- I hear what you are saying about expense versus bling. My "nicest" pair of earrings are small leverback diamond huggers set in gold, that are completely hidden with my hair down. I always feel great with them on though, for some strange reason. I think if he's given you an out to exchange the earrings, go ahead and take it, especially now when there may be some good sales going on. I personally like leverbacks as I have lost many stud earrings including diamonds, because the back came off- and I won't wear studs now except in a CZ for that reason. But you know your taste, and what you will get good wear from... I'm sure he bought this for you to make you happy. Best wishes-
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DH surprised me over the weekend with an early b'day present. He bought me a pair of earrings. I was completely surprised (other than my e-ring, he never bought me jewelry (we've been together for 5 years!). I think he was waiting until we got married to start buying me jewelry (because he says it's a really big deal). In any case - I am OVER THE MOON that he did this and think it was so sweet and romantic, etc.
The only problem is - I don't really like the earrings! Gah! I've only started wearing earrings recently (I got them pierced earlier in the year, so I could wear earrings for the wedding).
They are a little bit of a drop earring, with really pretty detailing and a small diamond in the middle. He was really excited about the quality of the diamond, etc. and the detailing on the piece. He did say that if I didn't like them, there was a ton of things I could take them back for (he had it made at the place we got our rings and my ering).
Months earlier, we had talked about what kind of earrings I wanted - and I told him I wanted diamond studs to wear every day - and there was also a pair of earrings I lusted over, each time we went into this jewelry. I'm actually surprised he didn't get those; in talking about how he pulled off the surprise, it sounded like the jeweler talked him into the ones he purchased, saying the other ones were more special occasion) and the pair he bought were more unique than studs.
When DH gave them to me, he told me right away that I could take them back in and get anything I wanted. But, I'm finding myself feeling HORRIBLE for wanting to take them back and don't want to hurt his feelings. I talked to a married friend about it and she said to keep them and not take them back. I just keep thinking about the money he shelled out for them and wishing I could get something I like more.
The only 'out' I feel I have, is that the earring clasp is really hard for me use (it's the kind where the earring part is curved and then it has a 'flip' closure (so it stays put).
What do you think? Do I see what options I have for an exchange (and possibly hurt his feelings, by not liking his choice)? Or, do I just keep them and love them because of the sweet gesture?
They aren't hideous or anything like that, I just don't think they make quite the statement I think they should (given their price, etc.)