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What would you change?

posted 3 years ago in Newlyweds
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    Helper bee
    scrapsoflife    December 19, 2008   San Diego

    So I was just reading through the latest issue of Brides magazine and they did a cute little feature with blurbs from brides about what they would change or do differently about their wedding if they could redo it all. Responses ranged from picking a different videographer to regrets over lip waxing. I thought it was a great topic and thought I'd bring it to the hive.

    So to my fellow newlywed/already-wed bees, if you could go back and redo your wedding, what thing or things would you change or do differently?

    I think my redo would be a different venue. I LOVED where we had our wedding, but because we had such a short engagement, I didn't really get the chance to check out other places. Now that I'm no longer planning my wedding, I've discovered TONS of other venues that I would have really loved to have my wedding at and that would have been just as affordable! Just one of the downfalls of having a short engagement!

    What would you redo?

     
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    Bumble bee
    MrsK2be    November 15, 2008   Ohio

    I would ONLY redo ONE THING:

    (1) I would have spent more time/thought/money on my flowers.  I was not happy with them.  I met with my florist about 4 months before the wedding  - then the rest of our communication was over the phone or emails.   I should have reminded her (with very vivid, clear, pictures) of what exactly I wanted.  Apparently a LOT was lost in translation!  Oh well, worse thing have happened!

    Everything else was FAB!

     
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    Helper bee
    scrapsoflife    December 19, 2008   San Diego

    That's how things were with my florist too! Thank the Lord she had an even better vision for my flowers than I did! They turned out great! And she was patient with me since communication via email and phone was not ideal. I'm glad everything else about your wedding was FAB! :D

     
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    Lillindy    September 2008   Bay Area, CA

    I would have spend more time talking with both my florist and photographer so they were more clear on what I envisioned...oh well, I'm trying not to think too hard about it because I can't change it now.  Oh, and I would have gotten a different & cheaper dress.

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    Helper bee
    peachypear    8/2/08   Portland, OR

    I would have done a more casual and less expensive wedding overall. DH and I initially wanted to do that, but everyone told us that we'd regret it later. So we planned a big wedding thinking that it would make sense in the end. It didn't (not for us).

    I also would have made my dress. I really wanted to but was talked out of it.

    I would have made sure that we did a first dance and a father-daughter dance. We had it all planned, but everyone was having a good time mingling and we didn't want to break the mood. I feel bad for missing out on dancing with my dad.

    I would have done a rehearsal. We had a brief ceremony and a very small wedding party, so we didn't feel it was necessary. But it was massive confusion. Ugh.

    This post sounds so negative! But really, we had a great wedding and I would do 99% of it all over again.

     
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    Newbee
    katiwaldr    9/13/2009   Upstate SC

    I would have definitely gone with a different DJ considering the "cheaper" one that I went with ended my reception early because he had another wedding to do. UGH...still makes me mad! :o)

     I also would have hired a different photographer.  Although he took good pictures, the majority of the time he was just wandering around.  I wanted a photographer that would be shooting everything he could get to. 

    Oh, and the cake flavor that I had chosen wasn't even in the cake.  It just goes to show you that no matter how hard you try to make everything perfect, you will have some unexpected things go wrong.  Either way, the day was amazing and I got the guy I wanted. :o)

     

     
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    Newbee
    flyerkid    May 17, 2008   Northern NJ

    I would have tried to mingle even more!  For some reason, I still feel that I really didn't get to more people then I wanted to.  It really went by so fast!

     
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    Helper bee
    RachelD    September 17, 2011   Central NY

    I think the biggest thing I would have redone was my shoes.  I think I would have worn a pair of fancy high heels for the ceremony and then swapped out for the reception.

     
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    Blushing bee
    Wigglewagon    September 17, 2011  

    I would have had a dress that fit.  After all the money spent on alterations it was so loose the day of the wedding that it was embarrassing.

    I wish I had done the quilt  for the guests to sign that I wanted to.

    I would have had a different hairstylist.  She did an awful job but it's my fault for not standing up to her.

    I liked how different our wedding was and how much it fit us.  We heard a lot of "This is sooo YOU" all day long.

     
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    Busy bee
    littlecat    October 1, 2011  

    I would have hired a Day-of-Coordinator.  I am an event planner by trade, so i figured I would be all set...  I completely underestimated the fact that my family and bridesmaids are not in the same profession as me... My family all wanted to help out but often there were far too may chefs in the kitchen, and things got very chaotic...  My bridal party was just really hard to corral, and it was difficult/annoying to keep having to round everyone up, and explain what is going on next... My sister helped a lot, but we agreed that the next time one of us gets married, we are hiring a DOC!

     
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    Bumble bee
    Eight6Eleven    August 6, 2011   Pittsburgh

    I probably would have hired a different photographer. Ours was a "friendor" and saved us a ton of money, but she did a mediocre job. She cut off my DH's head in alot of pics and others were very blurry. We do have some decent shots tho, but I was a little let down.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    YSQueen    October 9, 2011   Atlanta

    There were lots of little things that didn't happen/I would change but I think the 2 major things I would change is more decorations at the ceremony site and better communication with my caterer.

    Originally, my FI and I built a ceremony arch to stand at the ceremony site, which, unfortunately, broke in transport. This was basically going to be the only thing that was going to be of major color at the site as I wasn't really lining the aisles/chairs with anything major. When the arch broke, we had to come up with something on the fly, which was was floweres in tiered vases, but still ended up looking pretty plain.

    Although every one raved about the food, my caterer was difficult to work with on the day of and there was complete misunderstanding about the type of service that was discussed a week before the wedding. However, my DOC did her best not to let me see any of the drama that was going on.

     
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    Bumble bee
    tinylittlebird    June 24, 2011   Indiana

    I've thought of a few things (I actually answered the BRIDES thing on FB) 

    1. Reception venue: Ours was ok. As my photographer put it, it was nice (the nicest she's shot in Indiana so far), but not very interesting. It also didn't help that I saw wedding photos from a friend's wedding the day after ours (Same wedding venue, different reception venue) that was GOREGOUS, and I hadn't ever heard of the place before. I was pretty jealous. 

    2. Videography: We didn't think we needed it. I didn't care about it at all.... until DH's grandfather was stuck in the hospital and couldn't come to the wedding. We scrambled at the last minute just to get a camera there to have *someone* tape the wedding for him. 

    3. Toss Bouquet: I wish I had just tossed mine instead of spending the extra money. I didn't want to give mine up, but I wasn't able to take it with me, anyway.... live and learn. (MOH caught the bouquet anyway, and I also gave her mine... that girl took home so many flowers!)

     
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    shhh bee    February 2011  

    1. I would have gotten different shoes. Mine were fine and were comfortable, but not that cute, and they were in more pictures than I thought they would be.

    2. I would have had a no child rule in my suite while getting ready. I had 4 flower girls who I love and adore, but they were all over the place and it really stressed me out.

    3. I would have taken more pictures with my DH. i was so concerned about getting to cocktail hour on time that I rushed.

    4. I would have taken seperate pictures with all of my bridesmaids. There is not one picture of me and my BFF by ourselves from the whole day. How is that possible?

     
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    Bee Keeper
    jo.lee    September 10, 2011   Indianapolis

    I would have gone to a different seamstress. She really made the week before the wedding stressful and I ended up showing more cleavage than I wanted to, which was pretty disappointing because the way the bodice covered a lot was one of the reasons I loved my dress. I still loved wearing it, but it wasn't what I wanted it to be and what it legitimately should have been. 

    Other than that, I wouldn't have changed anything, except maybe gotten up half an hour earlier since we were that late to take photos.

     
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    Helper bee
    CountryGirl80    October 1, 2011   Kentucky

    @tinylittlebird: Why weren't you able to take YOUR bouquet home with you!?

     
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    Bumble bee
    tinylittlebird    June 24, 2011   Indiana

    @CountryGirl80: Because we were leaving for the honeymoon the next day. I had fresh flowers. What would i have done with it? It was going to die before I got home, anyway....

     
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    Helper bee
    CountryGirl80    October 1, 2011   Kentucky

    @tinylittlebird: Oh, I didn't know you had real flowers. Gotcha!

     
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    Sugar bee
    .twist.    October 7, 2011   Alberta, Canada

    I would have gotten more photos with my wedding party. We were a little rushed and I'm worried we didn't get enough, and I know we didn't get any silly ones which i was kind of looking forward to. I'm also worried there won't be enough photos of me and DH.

    I also would  have liked to have eaten more of our food. I can't really review our caterer because I really didn't try very much because i was too busy mingling.

     
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    Busy bee
    Mrs.Oat    September 3, 2011  

    I would have taken bigger bites and eaten faster. I probably ate 5 bites of salmon and a taste of the mashed potatoes, only a tiny portion of the full plate they gave me. Also, I would have asked the servers to pack up our giant cupcake, because we literally had one small bite each for photos, and the remainder was gone after we came back from greeting guests.

    Can you tell we were STARVING after the wedding? haha, my biggest regrets have to do with food!

    There was one group of my friends who all traveled 500+ miles to get there, and I was barely able to spend 5 minutes with them. I wish I had been able to pay more attention to them and catch up a bit, and only hope they weren't too upset about it.

    All in all, our wedding was amazing and I enjoyed every minute of the day. Oh, except for the 10 minutes I spent freaking out because I accidentally sent my Spanx back to my apartment with a friend who was helping load/unload stuff. It was all good in the end, I had my sister drive me back to get it!

     

     

     
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    MrsMcGyro    July 9, 2011   New York

    I would have had my photographer take pics of us getting ready. We didn't start taking any pictures until the ceremony and as a result I don't have a single photo of just me. Not to be vain or anything, but I did look pretty awesome. I wish I could have got a really good bridal shot or two.

     
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    Helper bee
    RachelD    September 17, 2011   Central NY

    @.twist.:  Ha!  I wish I would have taken a plate of food with me from the reception.  I let my husband pick out all the food (and he did an amazing job!) but he ended up choosing food that would have gotten all over my dress.  So I ended up eating potatoes and rolls. 

     
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    Helper bee
    HappyCrickets    June 4, 2011   Cleveland, Ohio

    I had a wonderful wedding day.  It was a blast and I loved every minute of it.  That being said, there were a few things that could have been better.  I would have:

    1. Gone to the doctor the second I started getting sick the week of my wedding!!!  I started getting a cold Tuesday night and just thought it was a cold that would go away quickly.  WRONG.  I was sick the whole wedding day and the entire honeymoon.  Got home and it turns out I had a sinus infection and an ear infection.  First time ever I had either of those. Oh, and my husband was sick for the wedding and honeymoon, too.  What a pair we made, with our box of tissues that came along the whole day/trip!
    2. Gone with the other florist I talked to.  She was $1000 more, though, and the lady I went with seemed like she would be fine.  But then the week of the wedding at our final meeting I found out why she was so much cheaper.  We described the center pieces we wanted to her, told her what the other place was charging, and asked if she could do better.  She qouted us at $25/centerpiece as opposed to $35 from the other lady.  Turns out, she took "bouquet" to mean 2 roses.  Seriously.  2 Roses and some greenery.  She agreed to put a spray rose of each color in, too, after we were completely shocked.  And said it was our fault because we gave her a dollar limit.  We did not give her a limit.  We just asked if she could do what we wanted cheaper.  And then our flowers for the alter at church did not get set out.  She just dropped them off at the church and left without making sure they were actually where they were supposed to be.  Oh well.  My bouquet and the bridesmaids were beautiful, if a bit smaller than expected.  Everything was pretty.  But I'm sure it would've been better with the other lady.
    3. Made a list of shots for the photographer.  I know, I know.  Everything you read says to do this.  But I ignored the advice.  There is no picture of just my mom and me.  There is no picture of my husband and I with my siblings (but there is with his).  And we're Eucharistic Ministers (any Catholics out there will get this) and we served Communion at our wedding mass... but there are no picturs of us doing so.
    4. Finally, this one kind of stems from #1.  It was 95ºF out on June 4 in Cleveland (the days before and after were only in the 70s).  I was already sick and adding the heat in made me a bit miserable.  My hair all drooped and I think I just look like a drowned rat in half my pictures, especially at the reception.  If I had felt better, I would have been more concerned and fixed myself up a bit more.  But I just didn't care and didn't feel up to it.  So I wish I would've fixed my hair and makeup up before the reception!  
    Oh well.  All in all it was a wonderful day and I'm so glad it turned out as well as it did.  I still had an amazing time.  I only wonder how much better it would have been if I had felt better.

     
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    Worker bee
    MissRCcar    September 3, 2011   Cincinnati Ohio

    I wish DH and I would have been able to dance more...We were so busy with everything else. But overall everything came out better then I dreamed!

     
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    Blushing bee
    atomlins81    September 10, 2011  

    I would have gotten a few bridal portrait type shots. and maybe a few more fun shots with my bridal party. The photos were a bit rushed--I didn't want to miss out on spending time with everyone.

    I also would have make sure I made a point to make it to every table during the meal. We missed a few during dinner, and never got to some of those guests because they left right after they ate (without saying goodbye, which I thought was weird). I also wish we'd remembered to say thank you to our guests formally over the microphone like we'd planned.

    I also might have considered a videographer. We recorded the ceremony, but missed the toasts and first dances. I would have liked to have watched them, but I'm still undecided on whether it would have been worth the money.

    Oh, and I wouldn't have had a small freak-out over the flowers of the missing fancy hanger I was going to put my dress on. In the end, these details didn't matter much and weren't worth getting into a tizzy over (even if it was only 5 minutes or so).

    Other than that, and a few other very minor things (like small details I forgot in the heat of the moment), everything was amazing!

    I think it's so easy to second-guess yourself in retrospect, but I realize that if I'd been focused on all the little details day-of, I wouldn't have enjoyed myself so much! I spent a ton of times with friends, family, and my new husband and barely left the dance floor--can't ask for much else! It's a give and take--you just have to decide what matters most and make sure those things happen.

     

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