(Closed) What would you change about your life, given the choice?

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
8473 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would be a happier person if I had the career I went to grad school for, if I had a house, and a dog. House hunting at the moment, so I may have the dog as early as this summer!

Post # 4
Member
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I’d like to be doing what I do for work but to be paid a fiar rate. I’m in academia and the state of higher ed in America right now means that the vast majority of PhDs are forced to either leave the academy or take jobs as adjuncts and lecturers. Our counterparts who get fulltime, renewable jobs right away make 2-3 ties as much as we do plus benefits with the same experience. It’s rough (and demoralizing to have a PhD from a top 10 research institution and a prestigious teaching award but to be relying on Medicaid for our child’s health). This too shall pass.

Post # 5
Member
2352 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would change having a big scar on my face from having a birthmark swelling. I wouldn’t have to wear concealer everyday or see people looking at my cheek instead of making eye contact when they r on my left side. I wouldn’t have to wear full makeup everyday or try to keep people at a distance so they won’t see the texture difference as much.  I wouldnt have to wonder why strangers r always looking at me at the cash register or the drive thru or the dressing room or whatever. I wouldn’t have to cringe when I look through our engagement photos and worse, totally dread wedding photos coming up later this year. That is probably all I’d change.

Post # 6
Member
12250 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would really like my horrible new boss to quit! Failing that, I’d like for FI to finally get that promotion he’s been working towards so we can buy a house!

Post # 7
Member
2270 posts
Buzzing bee

I would get rid of my OCD and anxiety in a second! I am afraid of fumes, chemicals, fragrances, smells from cleaners, BPA, containers leeching chemicals into food, contaminants in water…It never stops! My OCD drives me nuts. I would give it the heave ho.

Post # 8
Member
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Better job, a house or at least an apt more than 300 sq. ft., get rid of my giant amount of student loans, and to be able to start a family. 

Post # 9
Hostess
8580 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I would change the fact that I have PCOS. Any lady who has it knows it’s such a horrible thing to have. It makes you gain weight like crazy, and makes it hard to get rid of. It makes you depressed because of all of the symptoms it has, and everything it changes within your body.

There is medication, but it’s still something you will have for life, there is no “cure”, there’s only pills you can take that sometimes help with the symptoms.

That’s the ONLY thing I would change about me/my life.

Post # 10
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Rubbs:  I love that a dog is all you want from life. I totally aspire to be you one day.

 

It’s weird that you posted this today. I’ve been thinking about that a lot.

I guess it comes with the territory of getting married….the whole settling down thing, living with and for another person.

Or maybe I’m just a really selfish person.

It started Friday night…I was pulling a 24hr shift. I caught myself in the mirror on hour 21 or 22 or something. My hair was disheveled, my eyes were dark and bruised and empty and broken and in my hand was the bucket of poop that I’d been carrying around for the past five minutes.

(Maybe I should clarify. I work in a hospital. The poop was for strictly medical purposes. I don’t always walk around carrying a bucket of poo.)

All that I could think was that this was not where I saw myself at 26 ten years ago.

It wasn’t a sad thought. Well…it was but it wasn’t entirely depressing. Just sort of made me try to analyze how exactly I got to this point.

I never wanted to be a nurse. It was something I just kinda fell into out of survival. When I was 16, I had imagined that I’d be much better travelled by now; writing in some leather journal along the edges of some courtyard, people speaking in various languages which I only barely understood. I imagined myself as some sort modern day Anias Nin, Nan Goldin, living in places called “lofts” and “flats” with the derelicts and the drag queens. I imagined that I would wear hippy colored scarves and smoke Gitanes and watch sunrises with men named Jean-Juan-Antoine.

What a dumb naive little twat I was.

In general, I like my life. I enjoy my job, I enjoy the company of my boyfriend and I mostly enjoy my friends but every so often I get this wild hare up my ass and start wondering if I am going to be happy being someone’s “wife” or “mother”. It was never something that I aspired to be growing up. I aspired to be the crazy, spinster aunt that brought my niece and my nephew trinkets from my worldly travels.

It’s not that I don’t feel blessed to have the life that I do now. I know that I have the love of a man who would give anything for me and I for him — even 16 year old poetic dreams of writing my way across Europe and India and Bali. It’s just that every so often, I think about the fantasies that I’ve compromised to have this blessedly normal, well-adjusted life. 

Post # 11
Member
2961 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I wish I had never bought this house and that I was still renting. I feel so enslaved by this mortgage thing.

Post # 12
Member
7468 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I wish I could be a stay at home wife/mom. Maybe someday…

Post # 13
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I wish I never starting smoking.. what a battle it is to quit.

I hate to say this but, I wish I never met my now-ex, so I wouldnt have to feel the heartbreak I’m feeling now 🙁

Post # 14
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee

I would have stayed in college to get my bachelors right away instead of taking a break to find a job. I went to school and have my associates and after no luck of finding long term work, I’m waiting to get into nursing schoo. I have little work experience and everyone seems to want all these qualifications. I’ve turned in atleast 20 applications this week and followed up on each one. I just wish I had some real experience so I could make some money. :/ Other than that I really love my life, cant wait to get married and move out of my parent’s next year!

Post # 15
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I wish I hadn’t dated a particular ex. My life completely changed because of our relationship. I had dreams and goals that I will never accomplish now. I have felt off-kilter and wrong for years because of it – like the life that I’m living isn’t really mine because it’s completely different from my original plan.

Post # 16
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I wish I could be a stay at home mom. 

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