(Closed) What would you do?

posted 5 years ago in Money
  • poll: What would you do?
    Cancel wedding at venue, save for a cheaper, DIY wedding you can afford with FI : (18 votes)
    67 %
    Continue with wedding plans, and hope that you are able to save enough money in time : (7 votes)
    26 %
    Other (please suggest below) : (2 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    175 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Your vendors wont apply the deposit youve already paid to another date (with that vendor still). You should go over your contracts.. In many of the contracts it says you will lose your deposit if you cancel the wedding all together… but if you change the date, they will just apply your deposit to the new date. (Although this doesn’t apply if you are changing your vendors/ venue).

    If you are keeping the same venue, and vendors have an in person meeting with them and tell them the situation…. Theyre likely to want to keep you going with them, and transer your deposit (and get the money for the whole event), than to only take the deposit and likely not be able to rebook the date, as it is only 4 months away.


    Post # 4
    658 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Wow. Well, I hope this doesn’t sound heartless but I think you should do what the two of you want to do. You have already chosen the venue your parents wanted and pushed back the wedding to accomidate their situation. I think that if you can’t afford the venue, it shouldn’t be your responsibility to keep it. I hope that doesn’t sound mean, I am not trying to be, but the dollars don’t lie and if you can’t pay for it, there’s truth to that. Good luck on the choice you make because I am sure its not an easy one. Talk to your dad and ask him if he will be offended if you choose another venue. Have you talked to the venue to see if you can’t at least get some of your deposit back. explain to them that there has been a life event that has taken place and their venue just isn’t feasable anymore. I am sure there is enough time for them to book another event and then they will just have your money for doing nothing. Its worth a try to talk to them. 

    Post # 6
    1083 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would feel really awful if my dad lost out on that money – you already lost out on the initial deposit. My fiance and I are paying for 50% of our wedding with the remaining 50% being split by our parents. We made sure we had plenty of time to budget and have found that saving has actually been pretty easy for the wedding. Now, of course, I don’t know your financial situation, but perhaps you can stick with the commitments you’ve already made and still do a lot of DIY. Either that or I’d talk to your dad about it. Since he’s already invested in it, I think it’s only fair to see what he says. It is YOUR day, after all, but in my opinion, whoever is paying for the wedding, should have a say. If he’s ok with losing out on that money, then I say go for the DIY wedding. 

    Post # 7
    658 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @jlc3:  I can imagine that it is a difficult situation for you and your family. Perhaps you wont get any money back from your deposit, but it never hurts to talk to them and who knows, maybe you can get some back and that would be helpful for your dad financially. 

    Post # 9
    6124 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I am so sorry you are going through this!


    While at first I’d want your dad to not loose out on ALL his money, I just see more stress down the road because you don’t actuallyhave any of his (generous) money in hand.  That’s a big issue.  I have seen so many times on these boards where parents promised money and it never materialzed despite best intentions.

    I’d just save as much as you can, make a nice cushion and then plan the wedding using only your funds.  If dad wants to give you a gift of money, ask him to write you a check and then you just add it to your own funds/wedding pot.

    I think this is the only way to ensure that you don’t get another disappointment down the road.

    Post # 10
    260 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    What a difficult situation. I think you’re handling it well! Definitely try to save as much money as you can to help with the funding. 

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