Post # 1
I’m going to make this short and get to the meat of the issue …
My daughter is in college and a sorority sister has asked her to be in her wedding,my daughter considered it an honor and accepted. Here is wear I come in, I will foot the bill for my daughters expenses as she is a student with no income other than the parental support. The dress and shoes will cost us $250 and that is fine, daughter can wear them out on other occasions. Now the sorority sis has given all the wedding party a list of requirements… Manicure, pedicure, hair styled and a spray tan all at a specific salon. The bride has preselected hair styles and nail color and informed the girls on this note that all this will be at their own expense, be prepared to pay $210 plus tip. We have not even chipped in for the bridal shower or bachlorette party. Is this something that is customary now.? It has been 20yrs since I walked down the isle or I was apart of a wedding party…
Post # 3
@Ashland9: Dicatating the dress, shoes, and accessories is par for course, dictating hairstyle is picky but acceptable, but nail color and spray tan AND the salon is beyond ridiculous. And on top of that, many brides offer to cover costs beyond the outfit as a gift. Hopefully the bride has plans to make up for it with an awesome gift… Woah. What a.. uh.. interesting case… to put it lightly. I say NOT CUSTOMARY! and your daughter needs to ask for some leniency, even though its not her checkbook… (coming from another undergrad)
Post # 4
@Ashland9: it’s pretty understood that a bridesmaid will pay for dress/shoes. If a bride demands professional hair, make up, nails, etc it should be at the bride’s expense.
Post # 5
Ugh. That is WAY excessive, especially for someone in college!
I would have your daughter talk to the bride and see if the bride can help her out a little, financially!
Post # 6
@Ashland9: Shoes, dress, and hair is expected. Normally nails, tan, make-up is optional and at the bridesmaids discretion. I would have your daughter ask what the other bridesmaids are doing to afford this, particularly since they still need to pay for a bachelorette, a shower, and gifts… Weddings are certainly expensive affairs for bridesmaids, but this (to me) seems excessive particularly for girls still in college.
Post # 7
That is just silly. I know I was in a wedding where she made us get fake tans and eyelash extensions and false nails all at our own expens! It is not fair. For my BM’s all they are paying for is their nails to be done (thats if they want them done) I also will not dictate as to how there hair sould be cut and coloured! how silly!
Post # 8
I think you should have your daughter talk to the bride, tell her that she is not sure she can afford all of these expenses. I would go into it with a budget or the items that you are willing to pay for, and see what she says. If the bride refuses to budge than your daughter will have to decide if she wants to step down or ask you for the money, or you will have to decide if you are willing to pay for it. Personally, I would probably drop out of a wedding with a bride that demanding before asking my parents for that much money, but I’m not sure if I would have felt the same way when I was younger and less likely to stand up for myself. It’s a tough call. If your daughter does not want to drop out maybe you can loan her the money (I don’t know if she works summers or anything where that would even be feasible, but I wouldn’t blame you for making her pay for it herself if she won’t stand up to the bride).
Post # 9
Oh and no, I don’t think this is right or customary, but I don’t think it’s entirely uncommon either. I think some people just don’t know any better, which is why I say talk to the bride. Hopefully she’d rather have her friends as bridesmaids than damage her friendships over a spray tan!
Post # 10
To me, only dress is expected. Anything beyond I think the bride should pay for.
Post # 11
Thanks for the all the response…
All you ladies have been very helpful and I will certainly let my daughter read your comments. She will see that there are lots of level headed young women out there in all stages of life that see that this request is a little unreasonable. I don’t mind one bit helping with the expense… We won’t go broke or anything, but I never imagined that it would cost this much just to be a bridesmaid. I just hope this isn’t the start of more to come.