What would you do???

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Ashland9:  Dicatating the dress, shoes, and accessories is par for course, dictating hairstyle is picky but acceptable, but nail color and spray tan AND the salon is beyond ridiculous. And on top of that, many brides offer to cover costs beyond the outfit as a gift. Hopefully the bride has plans to make up for it with an awesome gift… Woah. What a.. uh.. interesting case… to put it lightly. I say NOT CUSTOMARY! and your daughter needs to ask for some leniency, even though its not her checkbook… (coming from another undergrad)

Post # 4
Member
716 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Ashland9:  it’s pretty understood that a bridesmaid will pay for dress/shoes. If a bride demands professional hair, make up, nails, etc it should be at the bride’s expense.

Post # 5
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Ugh. That is WAY excessive, especially for someone in college!

I would have your daughter talk to the bride and see if the bride can help her out a little, financially!

Post # 6
Member
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Ashland9:  Shoes, dress, and hair is expected. Normally nails, tan, make-up is optional and at the bridesmaids discretion. I would have your daughter ask what the other bridesmaids are doing to afford this, particularly since they still need to pay for a bachelorette, a shower, and gifts… Weddings are certainly expensive affairs for bridesmaids, but this (to me) seems excessive particularly for girls still in college.

Post # 7
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

That is just silly. I know I was in a wedding where she made us get fake tans and eyelash extensions and false nails all at our own expens! It is not fair. For my BM’s all they are paying for is their nails to be done (thats if they want them done) I also will not dictate as to how there hair sould be cut and coloured! how silly!

Post # 8
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think you should have your daughter talk to the bride, tell her that she is not sure she can afford all of these expenses. I would go into it with a budget or the items that you are willing to pay for, and see what she says. If the bride refuses to budge than your daughter will have to decide if she wants to step down or ask you for the money, or you will have to decide if you are willing to pay for it. Personally, I would probably drop out of a wedding with a bride that demanding before asking my parents for that much money, but I’m not sure if I would have felt the same way when I was younger and less likely to stand up for myself. It’s a tough call. If your daughter does not want to drop out maybe you can loan her the money (I don’t know if she works summers or anything where that would even be feasible, but I wouldn’t blame you for making her pay for it herself if she won’t stand up to the bride).

Post # 9
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Oh and no, I don’t think this is right or customary, but I don’t think it’s entirely uncommon either. I think some people just don’t know any better, which is why I say talk to the bride. Hopefully she’d rather have her friends as bridesmaids than damage her friendships over a spray tan!

Post # 10
Member
3978 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

To me, only dress is expected. Anything beyond I think the bride should pay for.

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