What would you do?

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Anonhere:  Undecided Oh sweetheart, I do not like this post very much at all. Mostly because my daughter is like you. Quiet and accommodating. And I hope she doesn’t change for anyone. I hope (someday, she’s only 13) she finds someone who loves her for who she is. You are not to blame. You are who you are. You shouldn’t change for anyone, you deserve someone who loves the real you. It’s one thing to encourage someone to run at their full potential and live out their dreams. It’s quite another to condescend and make them feel unworthy. You love your job, do you know how hard it is to find a job you love? Your wants and needs are important too. You do all this “in the name of love”, but what is he doing for you “in the name of love”? Love is a two way street. You deserve love too.

Post # 4
892 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Anonhere:  it sounds like you need to leave. I hate to say it but you both sound like you arnt making eachother happy.. He should NOT be the one to determine whether you should get a new career. My personality is very similar to yours, homebody, etc, and if my FI ever told me I am boring or never bring up anything exciting to do, I would probanly tell him to suck it. No one should be putting you dowm for who you are, there is a person out there that fits you perfectly, in the sense that they will be happy with everything you bring to the table. Remember that you deserve to feel loved, wanted, and cherished in your relationship.. Not belittled. 

Post # 5
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Whilst any relationship involves some compromise, it sounds like your FI wants you to change your whole personality. If you’re to have a future with this man he should be head over heels with the real you, and you shouldn’t have to pretend to be something you’re not. I’m very quiet and introverted, and my FI does encourage me to come out of my shell, but he loves me for who I am and would never ask me to change. 


I think you need to have a serious talk with your FI and one of the questions you should ask is “Do you still love me?” But it might also be worth asking iof there is anything else worrying him,  financial stress perhaps. This could be affecting his performance in the bedroom and could explain a few of his comments too. And if he says he still loves you, he’s still attracted to you and there’s nothing external stressing him out then he should probably see a doctor to make sure there’s no medical cause of his erectile dysfunction. 

Post # 6
312 posts
Helper bee

@Anonhere:  I would leave him. It seems like he’s the one who changed, he was previously ok with your lifestyle but suddenly he’s not. It sounds like he’s acting this way to make you leave him so he doesn’t have to deal with the drama of being the guy who broke up with you twice. You shouldn’t change yourself just to appease someone else and I’d leave quick before he has the chance to walk out on you again. What were his reasons for breaking up with you then taking you back? This may shed more light on what his intentions are. So sorry you are going through this. 

Post # 7
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

If he isn’t happy with you and makes you feel worthless then I would suggest ending it and finding someone who does like you for who you are.

Post # 8
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I feel this is more than the normal relationship compromise, and he needs to accept who you are or get going. JMHO

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