Post # 1
I am far away from sending out my wedding invitations.. But my best friend’s ex asked if he was getting an invitation.. He is a super nice guy (to me anyway!) and my best friend has said she doesn’t mind if he comes.. But I feel weird!
He emailed me and asked when he could expect his invite.. And that he would fly to the wedding for me.. He was around when I first met my fiance and he was actually on our first semi-date as a double date kind of thing. He once asked me out and I said no and then he started dating my friend.
I feel like he’s just using my wedding as a way to try to get my best friend back. She has said no, and he still professes he’s in love with her.. But he is a very nice guy and we have been semi-friends for five plus years now. I’m so conflicted!!!!
Did any of you bees experience this? What do you say when someone invites themselves to your wedding?
Post # 3
@happilyeveraftergirl: if you had no real intentions of inviting him prior to him inserting his opinion, then dont invite him. you are under no obligation at all. politely say we are having a family close friends only wedding and leave it there. but dont think that it wont be brought backup by him because it likely will, dont ignore it. address it swiftly so homeboy doesnt think he is coming.
Post # 4
I agree with the PP. If you weren’t planning to invite him before, don’t bother now.
Post # 5
He is being very rude asking for an invitation. I would not reward bad behavior.
Tell him you have not finalized the invitation list yet, that you hope to be able to invite all our friends, but that there will be a limit to the number of guests you can host.
Post # 6
I would probably invite him, if I had extra room. Since you still keep in contact, it seems like you are somewhat friends still, and if your best friend truly has no problem with it, then why not? I do agree that its rude to ask for an inventation though, but I would probably look over it.
Post # 7
Don’t send him an invitation. If he is bold enough to ask directly, just say that you are having a small wedding or that you haven’t finalized the guest list.
Post # 8
@happilyeveraftergirl: You say you are “semi-friends”. I didn’t invite semi-friends to my wedding, in fact I had to cut a few friends from the guest list.
If you’re sure you’re not going to invite him, say something like “Sorry but we can only invite closest friends so we won’t be able to invite you”. If you’re not sure and want to leave the option open, say the guest list isn’t finalised yet. Either way, I agree with other posters that it’s rude of him to ask. and you’re under no obligation to invite him.
Post # 9
Etiquette Snob here… lol
Asking / Inquiring about an Invite is ALWAYS being forward / RUDE
I’d only include him now IF he was indeed on your Original Guest List and you have the room…
If he was a MAYBE… then I’d be more prone to move him to the NOT INVITED LIST strictly because of his lack of Manners
Sorry… that is just the way I operate
Those who are most polite get rewarded… those who are not… don’t.
Hope this helps,
Post # 10
@happilyeveraftergirl: I wouldn’t want to invite him purely because he asked for an invite. That is so rude…
Post # 11
@happilyeveraftergirl: He doesn’t strike me as particularly “nice.” Nice people wait to be invited…they don’t invite themselves.
If this is a person you would like to invite, then send him an invitation. If not, then write him back and tell him that you’re having a very small wedding and unfortunately can’t invite everyone you would like.
Post # 12
Take the fact that he asked out of it – would you invite him otherwise? If not, then don’t invite him. If yes, then invite him.
If you aren’t going to invite him (sounds like you are leaning that way) just let him know that you’re really sorry but you weren’t planning to invite him as you aren’t that close.