What Would You Do?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: What would you do?
    Ignore the situation completely. : (27 votes)
    59 %
    Address her behavior politely (myself). : (4 votes)
    9 %
    Address her behavior politely (with DH). : (6 votes)
    13 %
    Let DH address her behavior with her DH. : (2 votes)
    4 %
    Send her a holiday card of ours. : (7 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    2062 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @MrsT2009:  You have only one real choice. You can remain friends with this couple – they are one now – or you move on.

    I suggest moving on. As good as a friend as your ex may be, she will always be around. Or, she won’t. Then you can befriend your ex again.

    Post # 5
    2062 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @MrsT2009:  I hear you. Confronting her sounds like it would only make it worse though. The person you describe does not sound reasonable. Sounds like the only reason she stopped flirting was because you hurt her ego!

    Post # 6
    2992 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Ah that is a tricky one. Her behavior would grate on my nerves. DH has rejected her advances and that certainly must of irked her. Personally I would send the card with a cheerful Jane and Jon Doe signiture (obviously your handwritting) and a hearty Happy Holidays greeting! I would also be annoyingly cheerful and polite whenever I would run into her or while attending mutual social events. Why? Because it will drive her stark raving bonkers. But I can be like that when people annoy me.


    Post # 7
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Encore Bride.. Older Bee here

    I have a rule of thumb that has served me well in life (and Mr TTR has a similar rule)…

    Exes are exes for a reason.  You break up and move on.  You cut them free totally.  They are not your friends, your buddies, in your social circle or anything else… they are “complicated” (what past Dating relationship isn’t ?)

    So you cut bait and move on.  Permanently

    This Guy’s Wife2B… She’s Loonie Toons… who needs that in their life ?

    He’s in Love with her… good for him… let him deal with her

    Keep DRAMA & TRAUMA at an arm’s length or further.

    IGNORE THEM… and move on.

    They don’t exist to either to you…

    The advantage to this is if her behaviour continues (Special Occasion Cards etc) you can get a great laugh out of the fact that SHE DOESN’T GET IT

    She’s purely cra-cra

    Hope this helps,


    Post # 8
    435 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    @MrsT2009:  When someone doesn’t like me, I go out of my way to make them LOVE me. There is no real reason this girl shouldn’t like you… I would just keep being the bigger person and eventually she will come around. If she doesn’t? Well, you’re not losing out on much.

    Post # 10
    1676 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    Ignore her and move on with your own life. It’s sad you’ll loose a friend, but you don’t need her messing with your life

    Post # 11
    3016 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

    I would ignore her. Your ex has made his bed. If your DH wants to maintainhis friendship, no worries, but I’d be friendly to the ex in social situations, and otherwise accept it as water under the bridge. Sad, but that’s life.

    If he ever asks, you can tell him honestly, though he must realize what his wife is doing. If he’s not going to put a stop to her antics, I guess you just move on.

    Post # 12
    1361 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I’d pretty much do the exact same thing back to her, because I have a warped sense of humour and would find it funny to do something that immature to prove my point lol. I kind of think it’d be funny for her to get a Christmas card from you only addressed to her DH, it’s not like she can really sook about it either because that’s exactly what she did.

    Apart from the weird wife FI, me and my ex are pretty much the same, we’re all good friends and FI even considered him as a groomsman. I’m not sure what this girl’s problem is. Really this is something she should be talking to him about rather than taking it out on you.

    Post # 13
    1361 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2014


    @This Time Round:  Not all exes are complicated. My ex, FI and I were actually hanging out tonight. I used to be good friends with his ex, while they were dating. He has spent the night at our house. Zero complications, we’ve never had any issues. Maybe it’s not the rule, but it sounds like OP and her ex are pretty much the same, except for the passive-aggressive wife.

    Post # 14
    889 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Wow…what an asshole! I voted send them a card..be the bigger person and kill her with kindness.

    Post # 16
    665 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    As someone who has to see a crazy ex on occasion (FI’s, not mine), I have managed best by paying her little attention in social situations but being relatively polite.  I don’t start conversations with her and when she starts “performing” as I call it, I leave the room.  I won’t play her games and make it clear that I don’t care about her.

    I understand that you don’t want DH to lose out on his friendship, so I would suggest handling her in a similar manner.  Hopefully she will get bored when she doesn’t get any reaction out of you, like a little child would.  While I can’t say that I’ve been 100% successful with that, I’ve removed the power she had and she isn’t as obnoxious anymore.

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