Post # 1
FI is in the army and has been stationed in Arizona since October. I have seen him about a total of 10 days since then, and he is coming home for good next month!! 🙂 I am really excited. His dad and step mom are flying out to spend a few days with him, and then they are all flying home together. Their flight gets in at 9:30pm, and I really want to meet FI at the airport and have him stay at my house for the night. He is all for this, but told me he is pretty sure his dad will be upset if I pick him up from the airport rather than them driving him home. I really don’t want to wait to see him any longer than I absolutely have to, but I don’t know if it will be worth getting to see him an hour earlier over pissing off his dad. Advice??
Post # 2
KristenD9: Is there no way you could dropped off at the airport and drive back with them? I don’t see why it would upset his dad but if it would I see that as the only solution in which everyone wins…
Post # 3
KristenD9: I’m with BtoR: How about call his parents and make plans to all go to the airport, and then go out together for a late dinner, or appies/drinks, whatever? Or plan a whole family night if you think he’d rather be in his home. Actually – you could plan that with his parents, and it would be a good way for you to bond with them, and show them you want to iclude them in your life with your FI (even if you are already close with them, still a great idea). Put on his favourite movie. Make some of his favourite snacks – plan that together with his mom and/or dad, who will make what. His mom can make whatever his favourite treat was when he was a kid, you can make whatever his favourite thing is that you make. It’ll be a whole awesome bonding thing for all of you together. Stay the night there (yay drinking! lol) then you and he can head to your place after breakfast with the fam. You get to see him right away. You aren’t taking him away from his parents. You are letting him spend some time with all the most important people in his life. You probably get a free home cooked breakfast. I really don’t see a down side. Okay, one down side but it isn’t PG, and you’ll be all the more excited for it 12 hours later.
btw “my dad might be upset” could be code for “I really want to spend some time with my parents, because I miss them too, and we’ll be married soon, and have our whole lives together, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings, because I love you and miss you and [some more mushy stuff] kay bai.”
Post # 4
KristenD9: My FI is in the army too so this dilemma happens to us a lot too.
If I’m understanding it right his dad will be spending a few days with him and then flying home with him (Which is where you’ll be seeing him). In this case his dad will have already had time with him over those few days so I would think its a bit greedy of him to be pissed at you for coming to the airport. So I would go to the airport and pick him up.
As an alternative though I agree with other posters that you could go to the airport and drive home with them all.
Post # 5
Duncan: Thank you for the advice. That actually sounds like it would be a really nice time. I guess I should’ve goven some background info but it was late and I was tired lol. So there is some awkwardness between me and FI’s parents (dad and stepmom). They weren’t always supportive of our relationship because we got so serious so young, and they only started welcoming me into their home and lives in August after our engagment. I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t be okay with me staying the night or staying there that late. I’ve just never had a relationship with them that they have made me feel comfortable enough to do that. On the other hand, FI has always been that way with my family. When he was home for Christmas, he actually stayed at my house instead of his own. That’s why I feel like my only option is to bring him home with me or wait until the next day :/
ashleykaye: That’s kind of the direction I’m leaning. They didn’t invite me to go with them on the trip, which offended me a little to be honest. So I feel like they shouldn’t be upset if I pick him up, but Im thinking they will probably feel like I’m taking their time with him away, which is weird because they never paid all that much attention to him when he was home!
Post # 6
KristenD9: I think, if the relationship is strained, it’s even more valuable to try to do this all together. It shows them you respect them, and their family, and their relationship with their son. It creates an opportunity to connect in a more familial way, and as adult peers. I’d suggest it. They have “it’s good to be late” as a way out, and then you can say “Ok well let’s all do something next week; maybe brunch?” Try not to make it adversarial. If they do, that’s their deal. If they won’t be the adults, you do it until they come around. I really think this is an opportunity to improve the relationship, and that is important. Remember, they will be grandparents to tie children; it’s worth investing some seat equity in this. When in doubt, do the right thing.