What would you do?

posted 3 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Would you bring up the ring again, and ask to exchange it?
    Yes : (36 votes)
    97 %
    No : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 2
    5483 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    mrsmay07:  awww thats sad! it was nice of you to pick it. it would probably depend on the cost. a $50 ring he wasnt thrilled with but would wear sometimes? sure, keep it. a $350 ring he said looks like 80’s wood paneling? no – back it goes!

    Post # 3
    2414 posts
    Buzzing bee

    My FI loves those wood rings. (He is a woodworker, so I think he appreciates that the style would be a reflection of some part of his personality). I think it works out best to show your man lots of options on rings and let him pick the one he wants. For my FIs band, I just put together a list of ones I liked for him to pick from. He’s not a jewelry guy, so he appreciates me making this easy 🙂 If your DH wants to keep it, I wouldn’t try and get him to return it. Sometimes a piece grows on someone and they end up liking it a lot even if they didn’t pick it out themselves. 

    Post # 4
    1209 posts
    Bumble bee

    wrkbrk:  +1 I think like you do!

    Post # 5
    5483 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Slick:  Great minds!! 🙂

    Post # 6
    92 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2002

    Send it back if you can. If he got you a ring you didn’t care for, even if you loved the sentiment, you would secretly hope he would send it back and look for a ring that was more your style.  The sentiment is already built in, because it shows that you care more about what he wants than asking him to wear something he doesn’t like. 

    Both of you were very sweet and your intentions were really good. 

    Post # 7
    1491 posts
    Bumble bee

    I wouldn’t want him wearing a ring he didn’t like just to please me, I would want him to tell me and either show me what he wants or go out together and find one both of us like.

    Post # 8
    2927 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    wrkbrk:  <~What she said. +1

    My DH is on his 5th ring….yup 5th. After #2 went MIA I started buying him the $15 tungsten ones from EBay. They are surprisingly great quality! I’d send back the wood ring and have him pick one (or more) that he likes! 

    Post # 9
    904 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 1975

    mrsmay07:  I’d be sending that ring back and having him pick one he likes. I’d want that same respect for me, had the shoes been reversed. The sentiment won’t be taken away, it’ll still be there, even when he gets the new ring. That was very nice you thought of him in that ring, it seems that he also notices that. Just let him know it is okay to return that ring and find a new one (if that’s what you decide to do).

    Post # 10
    2611 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2006

    mrsmay07:  my hubby has that same ring. The wood is a little lighter. He loves it!! If your hubby doesn’t I just exchange it. 

    Post # 11
    1106 posts
    Bumble bee

    I really don’t get the wood in lay rings I’m with your hubby on this one they remind me of those old wood in lay station wagons from the 60/70s! Lol I would go with a silver or black tungsten ring for $25 

    Post # 12
    1622 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May

    A+ for putting thought and sentiment into his ring. I believe he genuinely wants to wear his ring now that you explained why you picked it. With that said, I’d exchange it and ask him to help point me in the right direction. I would rather him be happy with the ring than try to save my ego. 

    Post # 13
    5389 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

    I would exchange it for something he likes.

    Post # 14
    671 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    mrsmay07:  Hmm it’s is a bit one sided really, women should love their rings but men can feel however they want! I guess because women’s rings are sometimes much more expensive and a proposal comes with it. If it was $50, keep it until he loses it. If it was $400, send it back. Make him choose his own ring, don’t go guessing again. 

    Post # 15
    2782 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    mrsmay07:  This is a hard one.  I know a ring is a little easier to return– but here’s another example:

    My husband and I have always shared cars from the start.  The car that I brought into the relationship had to be replaced in January, so I picked out a new car- he was totally cool with it and on board- it’s not the car he would have choosen for himself.

    Fast forward to April- the truck he brought into the relationship needed to be replaced.  So while he wanted another truck, we didn’t want to spend that much right now for a four door truck.  So he choose a car he liked.  

    Long story short, I started to hate my car.  There’s nothing “wrong” with it– there were just things that bugged me about it.  So my husband made the car he choose the main car that I drove– and took “my” car– because he’s a sweetheart like that.

    I know for a fact he’d rather drive the car he choose, but he’s so damn sweet that he insists I drive it.  And while I felt guilty at first, I realized it’s truly what he wants, and it’s not like he’s driving a crappy car– and he isn’t “bothered” by the car I choose– it’s simply not a car he would have choosen if purchasing one.


    So I do believe that if your husband put the ring on his finger, he wants to wear it– and the reason I think this?  He was totally OK with voicing his opinion about the ring in the first place– which means he’s comfortable sharing his feelings with you.  I’m sure if he truly didn’t want to wear the ring, he would have sweetly thanked you for your thoghfulness and asked that you pick a ring out together.


    He had the option of sending it back and HE choose to keep it– so roll with it!  He’ll speak up if he doesn’t like it.


    I tottally believe that when there’s meaning behind something, something you once thought “unattractive”, so to speak, becomes special, attractive and meaningful.  

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