What would you do?

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard

I would keep my wedding date. She sounds young and immature. Sorry, but no one gets a whole wedding YEAR. You are different people with different dates and different styles. Move forward with yours. 

On the other part of her expectations, you need to put her in check quickly and nip that in the bud. That’s WAYYYY too much to expect of anyone to do. You decide how much you want to do and tell her specifically, I will do “this” but sorry I will be unable to do “that”, etc. 

Post # 3
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Stephanie8904:  She gets one day, not a week, not a month and certainly not a year. You should not have to stop living your life because she is getting married! I wouldn’t confront her directly about the “runing my year” thing unless she says something to you about it, just for the sake of avoiding unnecessary drama. If she does make a comment about it to you however, I would just explain to her that you are getting married on a date sentimental to you and your FI and that it is beyond unreasonable to expect the world to stop for an ENTIRE YEAR because she is getting married! She sounds like a major bridezilla! 

As for her expectations of you as a BM, I would be very clear about what you can reasonable do/spend and tell her if she requires more from you then you will have to step down as a bridesmaid. That way you arent the “awful woman who stole my year and decided to quit as my bridesmaid because she was too focused on her own wedding”. It’ll be her decision to remove you from the wedding party if she feels you can’t meet her (ridiculous) expectations. 

Post # 4
42182 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Say nothing. Keep to your plans.

Post # 5
6675 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Your weddings are more than 6 months apart- she is being ridiculous.

Post # 6
127 posts
Blushing bee

Stephanie8904:  Okay first of all, she doesn’t get the whole year.  And no you’re not being unreasonable.  We are getting married this December and my FSIL has decided she is now getting married in November (yup in 2 months).  Of course we were hurt and upset (probably where she is coming from) but my FIL is also getting married in October (we set our dates about the same time, this didn’t bother us).  You could tell your FSIL and FMIL that you may have to scale back your involvement with her wedding due to the fact that you are having yours the same year and earlier. 

Post # 7
4140 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would try very, very hard not to roll my eyes. Other than that, I would have my wedding as planned and tolerate her idiocy with a sense of humor as best as I could solely for my FH’s sake. Just being honest. 

Post # 8
716 posts
Busy bee

1.  Keep your February wedding date, she needs to grow up.

2.  Spend only what you are comfortable spending and no more, just say no.

Post # 9
11634 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would do/say nothing.  If your FMIL says something, have your fiance discuss it with her.  She doesn’t own the year. 

I also would not be putting in as much effort as she’s requesting.  She seems very entitled.

Post # 11
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Stephanie8904:  is she a child bride because she sounds like a 5 year old. god.

i would say nothing to her and keep your date. honestly, she gets a whole year? um, no. you’ll be done with wedding related stuff of your own 2 months in…surely she will survive.

if your FSIL or FMIL do say anything further to you, your FI needs to step in and stand up for your date. assure this nut-job that you can have your ceremony in february without taking anything away from her date, and without hindering you from being her BM!

Post # 12
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

She sounds childish. I would stick to your date

Post # 13
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard

Stephanie8904:  lol..ok so I take back the young part but will keep the immature. 

I agree..total bridezillish behaviour. Ignore her comments best you can but definitely address that you will NOT be doing all she expects and you tell HER what you will and will not do. You have to be crystal clear with people like that that expect it.

Post # 14
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base

Stick to your plans.  Did she expect everything from you after you said you were getting married in February?  If so, back out gracefully.   

I think any bride deserves a whole entire WEEK!  A lot needs to be done that week.  I’m planning my week.  Haha

No way to any longer.  Heck no to a full year.  

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors