What would you do?

posted 2 years ago in Legal
Post # 2
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee

cirk:  you get to be Mrs whatever name you have as Mrs just means married.  Could he take your name?

Post # 3
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

cirk:  

I changed my surname to my husband’s. 

If I was in your position, I would find an alternative because people will notice that your initials spell a word for semen or orgasm. 

If you want to be a Mrs, why not just take your husband’s surname?

Post # 5
Member
1609 posts
Bumble bee

cirk:  We have to use our initials quite a bit at my job. One of my coworkers has the initials RAT and a former worker got married and her initials were ASS. It really didn’t affect them in any way, you have the initial laugh and then it kind of becomes a non-issue. Honestly, if I met a Calvin Unter-Moore, the initials wouldn’t necessarily jump out at me as CUM

Post # 6
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

cirk:  

If you view your name as an important part of your identity, this is certainly an important issue no matter what anyone says. 

We live in the first world, so we have first world problems. Nothing wrong with that at all. 

Post # 8
Member
6615 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t think everyone will pick up on your potentially humorous future initials. If you mention it directly, though, they will notice. It’s all about presentation. It will be less conspicuous if you refer to yourself as (hypothetical) Cara E. Unger-Martin. Alternatively, you could shift your maiden name to your middle name, but in regular life refer to yourself as Cara Martin and initial as CM.

Post # 9
Member
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base

I never wanted to change my name again after I divorced.   I fought very hard to get my maiden name back and I felt my identity was because of my dad.  Now that I am almost married again I have the same quandary but only because I adopted my children as a single parent and they carry my last name.  However, I want to be Mrs. His Last Name.  I hope you figure it out because I still don’t know what I am going to do.  

Post # 10
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

angyjaxon:  I have that problem too! I’ve posted about it before, because it’s kind of a touchy subject with my fiance. I think I am going to hyphenate, so I can go by Mrs. A. And for legalities, like school documents and such, my maiden name will be in there for my kiddos. I think it’s important to share the same last name with my children.

cirk:  Go with what you want in your heart. I bet there will be a joke or two in there, but how often will you actually initial stuff with CUM? If your name is all spelled out, like with the dreaded facebook we all love to hate (or is it hate to love?), I don’t think too many people are going to put a lot of thought into it. If you initial documents at work and such, go with the four initials, or just do CM. Problem solved and you can keep the tradition 🙂

Post # 11
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I want to keep my surname because it is VERY much part of my identity/heritage and I worry about the name not being carried on after my generation (I have two sisters, and 2 male cousins – 1 of which probably won’t have kids)

My sister has a son but he has his father’s surname (who hasn’t had anything to do with since he was 3months old). If my sister changes my nephew’s surname to our surname I will be far more comfortable changing my surname to my SO’s.

I wanted to hyphenate but my current surname is 10 letters long (and Ukrainian and totally crazy). And my SO’s surname is Bryan. I think it would be too much lol

Post # 12
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee

cirk:  could you hypenate the other way round and be CMU instead of CUM?

Post # 13
Member
2169 posts
Buzzing bee

cirk:  My mom hyphenated her name and has really embarrassing initials as a result. I can tell you that, at least in her case, in the real world no one seems to care. As an example of a famous person with weird initials, the fact that Barack Obama’s initials are B.O. doesn’t seem to matter to people.

However, if it would bother you whenever you looked at your name, then that’s the most important consideration and in that case I think you should go with C___ M___-U___. That way you get your hyphenation and it doesn’t spell an embarrasing word.

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