Post # 1
Need some advice,
so some of you may have read some of other FSIL and FMIL drama. Links below:
My wedding is 2 weeks away, we have not spoken to FSIL and FMIL in over a month. Last thing WE said to them was that if they cause any issues or problems at the wedding they will be asked to leave and they are not welcome to be a part of our life after everything that was said and done on their part.
At this point a few details are unsure. My FI most likely won’t even be doing a mother/son dance, which he is struggling with. He doesn’t want to do the dance with her after everything, but never ever thought his family would do this and that he would have this feelings towards his family, and he also doesn’t want to draw more attention to the issues from the rest of my guests, so we decieded to go right into a fast paced dance right after my dance with my dad.
When the BM issue with his sister was discussed, she said she didn’t want to be a BM anymore because of her feelings towards me and my family, but she would do a reading. Then the next day is when she started in with her suicide treats and how she said she no longer was doing a reading or attending the wedding. We made other arrangements for our readings. My mother will be walking down the isle as most mothers do, but do we include his mother as well? Do we include his mother and sister on the ceremony program if we include my parents? Do we announce his mother and his sister at the reception? I know these seem minor, but I am in the midst of doing our programs, and I also have to get our band a list of who is going to be announced. What do you think we should? If it was up to me I would not include them what so ever and being that they orginally declined to come but now are coming. My FI is fine with her not walking down the isle and doing the unity candle with my mother ( his father will be doing it with my mother) but does this make us look terrible?
Post # 3
I don’t think there’s any reason to include them in the program or for introductions if they aren’t participating in the ceremony in any way. And if people think it’s strange, they probably won’t say anything to you and will probably just assume they did something to be excluded. I’m assuming their craziness has been pretty apparent to others, so it probably won’t be a huge surprise for anyone.
Post # 4
Out of all the weddings I’ve been to, I’ve never seen a program and we didn’t do one for ours because of drama similar to your situation. I’m not much help with the program, sorry. It does seem odd to me to list your siblings in the program if they are not a participant (readin, BP, usher, etc.) (also sorry to anyone who did include the siblings :]).
As for introductions, it can just be the bride and groom or you can add the BP or parents. Again, we did just the bride and groom because of the drama. But if you include your parents, I think it should be equal for both ceremony and intros.