Post # 1
My fiance has a housekeeper, she barely speaks English … works for his whole family in their houses since he was little. So when I moved in I had a cool scarf and all of a sudden it went missing. This was like 2 years ago. I never made a fuss over it and just thought I must have misplaced is … but I know it was taken.
NOW I’m looking for a new scarf that I bought, a beautiful and expensive scarf that I just got … and kept folded up on a shelf in the closet. The last time I wore I remember I folded it up and layed it on the shelf. That was a couple weeks ago. Now today I wanted to wear it and I’m looking for it and it’s completely GONE! It is nowhere to be found.
WTF. I know that the housekeper stole it. What would you do? I don’t know what to do. I am so upset and I was just freaking out and telling fiance why doesn’t he do something, and he doesn’t know what to do either.
WTF. I feel like cussing her out and telling her to give me the money for the scarf or fighting her or something. I’m so fuc*ing mad. Nobody else but her goes into our personal spaces … and I know it was left neatly folded in the closet. Now its gone.
Post # 3
what language does the housekeeper speak? can you get someone to translate? make a big fuss in front of her about the scarf, then have someone translate to her: “have you seen my scarf” it looks like [insert description] and is extremely important to me. i put it [insert location] here last week. have you seen it?”
who knows, it might miraculously reappear thenext time she’s there.
Post # 4
Definitely find someone who can talk to the housekeeper. It could all be a misunderstanding. Or, who knows, you might be right. But don’t jump to conclusions just yet.
Post # 5
I don’t know . If I tell her “where is _____” She’ll say “I don’t know.” There was another time something was missing and I had fiance call her and her son translated and she plays DUMB. Like she doesn’t even understand what we’re asking. It’s really frustrating.
Post # 6
I know. I am seriously going to tear apart this whole place on Monday … cannot because I am expecting people tomorrow and want to keep it clean. I haven’t actually torn apart everything and looked for it really carefully, but I did go through everything on the shelves and it’s not there.
Post # 7
What does your fiancee think?
If you are that confident that she did it, I would say that you and your FI should look for a different housekeeper. You don’t want to make too big of a stink because with her working on the whole family’s houses, you don’t want her to quit working for everyone and then if no one believes you they think you’re a jerk/crazy.
I would definitely bring it up to her, with both of you present so she knows it’s not just you attacking her and understands that it is a serious matter. Let her know if was in there before she cleaned it and you want to know “Where she put it.”
I’m sorry, but this is serious… what if that had been an heirloom or something? This is no joke.
Post # 8
This is one time that I would TOTALLY be passive aggressive (its what a lot of stores do in loss prevention too). Find someone who can communicate with her and either approach it one of two ways:
1- “Have you seen my scarf? It looks like -insert specific details-. I am quite sure I left it here the other day, perhaps you may have seen it as you were cleaning the other day?”
2- (comment on her appearance or someone else around you’s appearance) and say “I just got a scarf that would look great with what you have on – it looks like ‘this’. Let me go get it” go to where it was and come back and say “hmm… I can’t find it, perhaps you have already seen it though?”
When people hear stuff about what they have taken/want to take it shows that you’re already on to them and they will give up.
If she doesn’t budge, it is time for whomever she reports to to speak with her privately about the matter without being accusatory. Really, they can bring up the fact that she cleans and should keep an eye out for certain things if others report them missing – she should never say “I don’t know where something is” her response should be “I will look and help find it”
Side note — is it imperative she have access to the closet/room where your stuff is kept. If it is not part of her daily cleaning schedule, I would suggest getting a lock that she does not have access to and specifically letting her know that it is not part of her job description to go in to that closet/room/dresser/chest/what have you.
Keep us posted!
Post # 9
The only way to know for sure is to leave something valuable out and see if she takes it…
Post # 10
have you considered a “nanny cam”? That way if she is taking something, perhaps you could catch her on film?
Post # 11
has anyone else in the various families had issues with stuff going missing??? is there anyone else that has access (is FI sister??)
Post # 12
Is she hired by an agency? If so, you can talk to the agency and see if there have been any complaints.
Can you buy a decoy scarf, set it out, then nannycam it? I totally would just for ONE day. I also like the idea of telling her you need it, maybe she misplaced it? Has she seen it? you’re so upset, your mom gave it to you, blah blah blah. maybe she’ll be kind and return it at the next visit. IF NOT, fire her sorry stealing butt. You don’t need a thief in your house.
Granted, a lot of times, I go “OMG IT”S BEEN STOLEN” and I find it in the most unexpected places, even tho i SWORE it was in the place I said i left it.