Post # 1
You know me, another dilemma.
What do you do when you and your sweetie agree on a destination wedding, but the parents don’t because they don’t think anyone will be able to afford it?
I know HI is expensive and all, but I think with enough time to plan that people will be able to afford it especially since we want to rent a couple beach houses instead of individual hotel rooms. I feel selfish, but its what we both want. I keep getting torn in two!
Post # 3
Well, I think your parents are being a little more realistic. It’s not that your guests won’t be able to afford it, it is that many of them WILL wait til the last moment and then they will back out. With this type of destination wedding (especially if you are coming from MO), you should count on only your nearest and dearest attempting to come. If you can live with that, have a great destination wedding.
Post # 4
Or pick a tropical location closer to where you live so flights are less expensive.
Post # 5
My cousin’s had a destination wedding… the one thing they always said was the fact that we came to the wedding was their present… they never expected a gift from us after we shelled out all that money for the trip.
Post # 6
@princs.sweetie: If you really want to get married in HI and are ok with the fact that your wedding may be much smaller because of it, then I say you do it.
One of my good friends from college got married in Brazil, I felt bad because I couldn’t go.
She didn’t pick her bridal party until people said they were coming so that no one felt obligated to travel so far.
She also had a celebration back in the US after the wedding for those who couldn’t make it all the way to Brazil.
As long as the people you really want to be there can be there without huge financial strain, I think it’s fine. You just need to be realistic and understanding that people on tighter budgets may not be able to go OR that people may chose not to go even if they can afford it because they don’t want to spend a ton of money to come to HI.
Post # 7
Hawaii is very expensive. Even with planning in advance some people just wont be able to make it. If you are ok with just a few people being there then go for it. I am a big beliver in doing what you as a couple want for your wedding.
Post # 8
Like others have said, if you are ok with having a smaller wedding, then go with what you want.
I had a DW on Maui and did something similiar. My parents paid for two condos for my side of the family to stay. That helped with the costs and allowed nearly my entire family to come.
Post # 9
If your parents are paying for it, you may need to reconsider or pay for the wedding yourself. If you’re already paying for it yourself, do what you want.
Post # 10
If I didn’t care if my friends/ family were able to attend, I’d just go to Hawaii. If I expected/ needed Cousin Sue, Aunt Sally, Grandma and Uncle Joe to be there, I’d plan around what would be reasonable for them. Do what you want, but don’t get upset if people aren’t willing to spend thousands to go to Hawaii.
Post # 11
I probably wouldn’t be able to afford that. I don’t usually spend more than $20 on a wedding gift (that’s typical for our area), so I know I couldn’t afford a $1000 flight ticket. I agree with your parents. Why don’t you just spend your honeymoon there?
Post # 12
I agree with Jenniferk6, I think if your parents are paying for it, you need to consider what they want. If you and your fiance are paying (or paying for at least a good portion) then I think you should do what you want. There are going to be some people that you really want to be there that just can’t afford to go, but if you are ok with that, I say by all means have the wedding in Hawaii! I also think with enough notice the people that really want to be there will be there regardless.