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I've never thought of the absence of a registry as a cash grab, and I think most people don't see it that way either - there are several reasons people might choose not to do a registry, and I can see why in your situation it might feel silly or unnecessary to create a registry for an intimate wedding of only 25 guests. If I were having a wedding limited to only a few close family members, I probably wouldn't see the need for a registry either, as my truly close family members are the kind of people who would just ask my mom what kind of wedding gift might be nice or useful. So I don't think that not having a registry is offensive.
I am also having a small wedding (10 people) with an ATR to follow, maybe another 50 people there. We registered because people were asking where we were registered. We are not telling people we are unless asked (as in not sending out those registry cards to everyone). We don't expect anything, but its better to register and get things you need/want, than random stuff. Plus, some places give you a discount after the wedding to buy things off your registry that you did not receive, so after the wedding we can purchase the things we really want and save some money.
@Aure: We are having a similar sized wedding and we too had trouble deciding if we should register. I wanted to, but FI was a little hesitant because we can buy these items ourselves, so he thought it seemed silly to ask people to buy them for us. Ultimately thought, like a PP said, people were asking us where we registered, so we made a universal amazon registry.
I put 2 expensive things on it, we need a knife sharpener ($150) and I put a set of mixing bowls on that match a set of measuring cups that FI bought me ($120). The rest of items are kitchen utensils. Like a garlic press, a French whisk, a pasta measuring tool, new oven mitts, a platter, etc. Those items are all between $10-$40.
I'm not expecting much, but it was still fun to put the list together with FI, and it's really nothing that we need, but just stuff we want.
Thank you ladies for the suggestions! Part of the registry thing that I'm struggling with is that we're an established couple. The only thing I can think of that we would need, or even want, is a nice knife block set. I wouldn't even ask my parents to get one for me, let alone friends. I'll have to look thorugh the BB&B website and see if I can find and cool, inexpensive gadgets that I would want.
We were in the same situation and were also established, but after friends and out-of-town family members kept asking for a registry, we decided it just made it easier on them.
You can also register for entertaining stuff that's nice but you wouldn't already have. I just bought a friend a gift who didn't register, and it was freaking agonizing! Trust me, guests will appreciate it!
@jjmomma: No one has asked so far, but we don't even have STDs out yet so I wouldn't expect them to.
@jo.lee: I considered a general list with DVDs and such, like an Amazon wishlist, but I've read that people find those offensive. They want to help the couple build a home and a new yoga mat doesn't fit with that, I guess. I can't win, I'm sure I'll offend someone, heh.
Edit: I realized that you mean entertaining as in hosting dinners, not entertaining myself. Oops!
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My FI and I are planning a very small wedding of about 25 people, with 14 immediate family members. I'm struggling with the concept of a registry. On one hand, I feel there are too few guests for a registry, on the other, I feel like not registering is too much of a cash grab. I'm not expecting anything from our guests but their presence, but I'm afraid of offending.
What do you think Bees, should we register for some items? Or none at all? Does anyone have a middle ground suggestion?