Post # 1
I know many of you will say, “do what you want.” But I want to know what you would do if you were in my shoes. Originally I wanted an intimate wedding or just a getaway and coming home married type of deal. When we got engaged people asked the date and I said I don’t know, but we may not have a wedding at all since blah blah blah…well after several people said, “well do what you want but we really want to see you get married and be a part of it”, we rethought our decision. Well, I rethought and FI is willing to go through with a wedding, but from the start wanted to take a vacation and get married away.
Well, within the past week or so I’ve had a few reliable sources tell me about several people voicing there negative opinions about our wedding. Anything from what FI should or shouldn’t wear to that we are selfish for having a wedding since we live together and have kids together. These are all coming from FI’s family and when I told him about it he said this was why he didn’t feel like going through the drama of planning a wedding.
When we first got engaged his cousin e-mailed me and congratulated us. She had just gotten married and said, hey if I can give any advice it would be to elope. She said it was absolute hell and would never do that over again if given the chance. Basically for the same reasons I stated.
With that said, I’m leaning toward eloping again. Though I’m flattered to be the topic of everyone’s conversation (sarcasm) I never wanted all the drama either. I simply rethought my plan since so many people said they wanted to be part of our joy. Well, we are private people and we keep to our own business. I don’t know that I want to let these people in on such intimate emotions now.
Yes, I know they will talk either way…But if they are going to b*tch about something, it’s going to be about something I did the way I wanted it. What would you do?
I know that there are people who would love to be a part of this day and are not talking behind our back…But those are the same people who will love and support our decision to elope as well.
Thoughts please!! Am I being ultra dramatic? I don’t want to get to the end of my wedding day and think thank goodness it’s over. I don’t want to get to the end and think gee I wish more people were a part of this day.
Post # 3
I would probably plan a small destination wedding, so people who are dying to be part of your day still have the option, then plan a celebratory shindig when you get home. Then you can have the ceremony you want without listening to all the nay sayers, people who are offended by you throwing a big wedding when you’re already living together won’t be offended, but no one gets excluded either (they can attend your “we’re married” celebration). Good luck! Sounds like a bummer of a situation.
Post # 4
@TequilaSunrise: Yes, I know they will talk either way…But if they are going to b*tch about something, it’s going to be about something I did the way I wanted it. What would you do? That was what I was going to write, so if I were you I would elope, and give people the option of coming. Say we are eloping/having an intimate wedding at this time and place, we would love it if you joined us kind of thing. So the people who want to come can and the people who will talk will at least be talking about something you wanted instead of something you didn’t want.
Post # 6
Thank you for the responses. Honestly I cringe when I think of spending money on stuff that I didn’t really want in the 1st place.
Will I ever regret it? I mean someday we could renew our vows and do it differently…This whole thing is not how I expected it. I’ve gone to try on dresses and they all ask what I want or how I picture my day…All I can think about is how awkward I’ll feel being center of attention. I don’t want to put on this show for everyone. I want to go travel and explore and have a wedding moon! lol
Post # 7
I agree with both PP’s. Elope, enjoy, relax, those that truly want to be with you will be. Have a BBQ/family gathering or something when you get home to celebrate your marriage. No ceremony, just party!
I am learning there is no pleasing everyone, ever. Please yourselves, and enjoy your wedding your way!
Post # 8
@TequilaSunrise: I say destination wedding too! It sounds like you already know what you want, you can elope to a destination and have your private ceremony!
We started off wanting a far away tropical destination wedding, but then i realized I wanted some of the things about a traditional wedding with out the stress of a big to do wedding. Our far away tropical desitination did not work out, we also realized we did not want to honeymoon with all our family at the same resort… anyway, FI found a place 2 hours down the road, and old beautiful plantation house B&B in the middle of nowhere. They do everything, the cake, flowers DJ, Food etc….. we can still get away like a destination and keep it a small simple wedding!! It was perfect, like our simple destination and traditional wedding all in one! We are so happy, and I am so thankfull FI found it 🙂
Good Luck and you already know that its your wedding, do what you want!!
Post # 9
@Future Mrs K: Your wedding sounds amazing, I hope you share pics after! That’s the type of wedding I imagined too, but my immediate family who would be crushed if they weren’t involved, add up to 80 people. So it just wouldn’t work for us.
Post # 12
We are eloping and then having a wedding celebration at the end of May for about 50 of our family and close friends… I am SUPER EXCITED!
Post # 13
I say have a destination wedding that people can actually go to (my uncle did it in Italy which was great but very few people could afford to go even if they wanted to). Our wedding is 14 hour drive away which has really helped take down all those people I dont want there anyways.