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homeless people frequently do have mental problems.
if he doesn't loiter and he actually buys coffee, i don't see why you'd kick him out, as long as he's not taking "showers" in the bathroom.
i'm guessing you're not in a city? in my experience, people who don't/haven't lived in cities tend to freak out about homeless people, even though most of them are harmless.
@SweetRose2011: How sad. I feel bad to hear stories such as this especially because of what I hear at work. I work in a unit where it's a combination of geriatrics and adults. If you think there's a mental issue, I'd call the police and have them take him to the hospital to be assessed. That way he can be placed in a center like the one I work at. He'll have food, clothes, and a warm bed to sleep in. But please, if you do decide to go this route, make sure the police are told that he is NO DANGER to anyone. I wouldn't want to see him being treated like a threat for no reason.
I enjoyed reading the story about him playing in the snow and throwing snowballs. It seems he may have the mentality of a young child, but I could be completely wrong because I don't know everything. Nor have I ever spoken to him. I totally imagined a grown man doing this though.
@kitzy: while we do have a population of around 150,000 we do not have a lot of problems with homeless people where I work as it is not downtown.
@DesireeAnne: he does seem to have the mentality of a child. There or some strange things he has said though (like today he wanted to show a coworker some photos he said he took as a photoshoot this weekend and we were scared but they weren't bad. Then he added that he did take some pretty bad photos and were surprised that they actually developed but he didn't show them to us thank goodness) He has like feathers coming out of his hat all the time. He puts duct tape on his clothes, draws in bright sharpies. He doesn't seem depressed or harmful to me at all.
I don't know if i would call the police, cuz I would think they may throw him in jail regardless, depending on how the police are there. Maybe you can call the local mental health dept, to see what they say? maybe they will send a counselor out there to speak to him?
@DesireeAnne: The unfortunate thing is depending on where she lives even if it is a mental issue not all areas have support for this. Unfortunately mental health budgets are one of the first things to get cut in bad economic times, in the area where I live we don't have facilities for people to stay if they have mental health issues.
@SweetRose2011: I agree with you, if he is not harming anyone or offending people by his actions (not just existing and being homeless) I don't think he should be kicked out. Unfortunately many people just aren't comfortable with things they don't understand, and he is obviously not understood, and neither is homelessness typically. Good luck with this situation.
I worked at a homeless shelter for a year. What you're describing is quite common. I think that it would be a kindness to let him stay, if he's not breaking any rules, being disruptive by yelling, or disturbing customers. But if he ever is threatening, you should feel no guilt at all about banning him/calling the cops.
@MrsSl82be: The reason I say call the police is because they (in my area) often take people such as him to the ER to be assessed. Most mental health centers do not take direct admissions. I work in one so I'm just forwarding my knowledge.
I'm with you... this doesn't seem like a big deal to me. It seems like he's pretty harmless and he's just trying to get out of the cold. He probably does have mental, drug, or alcohol problems. Most people who are homeless for extended periods of time do. But as long as he isn't bothering anyone I think you should let him stay. Good karma and all that :)
He may have mental issues, yes. But so may other customers, yet it's not obvious bc they don't wear odd clothes, or whatever else makes him stand out. Treat him as you would anyone else -- if he's truly a threat, you have every right to call the police.
If you are interested in learning more about interacting with homeless people, or simply looking for a volunteer idea, I recommend checking out a soup kitchen/Salvation Army/similar program, even if it's just once or twice.
If your coworkers are upset about him, invite them with you and invite them to have some compassion. You sound like you do care about his well-being, and the most respectful thing is to treat him like any other customer who wants to get warm. Of course, as others have said, if his behavior becomes a problem, treat that the same as any other problem.
@DesireeAnne: gotcha. I just think about the ones around here, and don't know if they would do that before throwing him in jail first...
@MrsSl82be: I fully understand. There's always the possibility of that happening.
Are there any shelters in the area, you could tell him about? I'm assuming he already knows about them, but it might be a nice gesture.
It does sound like he has psychiatric problems, but unless he's a threat to himself or others, he can't be forcibly taken to a psych ER. I would call the office of mental health to find out if there's any options for him to be evaluated, possibly taken to a shelter, etc. It is really cold out these days, and it's nice of you to not be so turned off by his homelessness that you wouldn't help him out.
Can you reach out to social services in your town to see if there is anything they can offer him?
@Coffeecake: Thank you, I love the idea of volunteering at the soup kitchen if I could just find time. I've actually done it before when I was really young and around Christmas time I think and loved it! I think I would really like the idea of doing it again. Maybe after the wedding is over and I can breathe again.
Your feelings about this situation are admirable. It takes courage and kindness to look at someone who is homeless and see the person rather than the situation. I agree with you - this man is not a threat. People who are uncomfortable around him are so because their own fears. To force him to leave is unjust - he's a customer, no more - no less.
@Serya: Thank you very much! I do feel like a have a large heart, and simply feel bad for people who cannot live life like others can. I am a little happy that at least he seems a little happy. I can only long for that for everyone.
I work at a homeless shelter so I thank you for being tolerant.
You should definitely call the police if becomes threatening. However, police or mental health professionals won't take him in unless he proposes an immediate threat to himself or others.
Is there a day shelter you could refer him to?
I would just focus on reassuring clients who seem uncomfortable. It's okay to say "yes, he's odd, but he comes in here all the time and we haven't had any problems with him here. If he gives you any problems please let me know."
Your town might have a homeless outreach program. I would check around the mental health centers and see if they do. Our mental health outreach workers work with homeless people who don't typically come into mental health center facilities. They probably won't rush down there if you call and say "we have a homeless man here." But you never know, he may be a client that they have lost touch with and could help.
If he isn't causing a problem, attacking people, or doing anything illegal, let him be. The guy buys coffee when he can. People are just scared of the unknown and anyone who acts out of the ordinary. I'd continue letting him come in until he actually causes a real problem.
This is a hard situation. I feel so bad for homeless people especially in the winter. My cousin currently lives in Chicago and she said they have a huge homeless population. Can you imagine? Living in a car or on the streets in this weather? Thank goodness there are people like you who realize he's not causing a problem, he's just a person, down on his luck, he may even have a mental illness. I think as long as he's not bothering anyone or causing trouble he should be allowed to come into your coffee shop.
I wonder if maybe you can find some homeless shelters in your area to call and ask if they have anyone that could come talk to him. Here in St. Louis we have a few places that help homeless people get back on their feet, but I know many people don't want to go to these places or can't. Could be worth a try.
I think as long as he doesn't harass anybody then he should be allowed to hang out at the coffee shop. He's most likely just trying to get out of the cold for awhile.
I've encountered a few homeless people. In our brutal deep South summers, they hang out at my favorite chain bookstore because the employees don't mind if they sleep or read, as long as they don't bug anyone.
I'll talk to them, if they strike up a conversation. Several summers ago, I sat outside talking with a homeless man who wanted to tell me his whole life story--WWII vet who'd been homeless on and off for decades. It was heartbreaking to talk to an elderly man who assumed he would die on the streets because nobody cared about him.
If he actually makes it a point to BUY something, he's probably doing better than at least a few people who go there. He's obviously intelligent enough to understand how these things work (sitting at a restaurant/coffeshop ethically obliges you to buy something), so if he isn't stinkng up the place or threatening/harming others, I'd let him be.
It's nice to see you be able to look at the human side of issues like this - a lot of people can't get past the fear or uncomfortable feelings that a homeless person can bring about.
If you can contact your local health department they may be able to at least asses him, see if he has food, access to meds and basic healthcare. Good for you for being so kind :)
Yay! I'm a Social Worker so I love your response to the whole situation. He is probably lonely or bored. He probably goes to a shelter at night, but many shelters don't offern anything to do during the day. As long as he isn't violent towards others or "gets too close" to a customer and making them feel uncomfortable that way, then I would say leave him alone. Talk to him like you've been doing. If he does "get too close" you could just explain to him how that makes others feel (like you would to a toddler). He probably does have psychiatric problems, but he's perfectly ok to not be treated for it (and may be why he's homeless in the first place). So I wouldn't worry to much about
trying to help him in that way unless he is outwardly suicidal or homicidal. Keep up the good work! Teach your co-workers the same, or at least ask them specific reasons why they're uncomfortable. It could be rational or irrational. Who knows. I hope your boss lets him stay though! :)
I agree, he sounds relatively harmless, and I think it's nice that you're worried about him. How kindhearted you are. Is there any way you can talk to your boss/manager into getting everyone to lighten up? If not, perhaps you can call one of your local homeless shelters to see what they suggest.
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First of all, I want to apologize for this being pretty long.
I work at a well known coffee shop. For a long time now there is a homeless man that lives in his car only. I'm not sure where he keeps it parked on a daily basis but for a while he would have it parked during the day at one of our sister stores down the street. His car is jam packed full of stuff and I've heard that he's gotten multiple traffic violations because of it. But I firmly believe that he's completely harmless.
There were some issues at our sister store for a while. He was a frequent attendee and while I don't know everything that was going on there, I know he is no longer allowed there. I worked at this store one day a few months ago. I was working register and the next person in line was a woman who seemed a little distressed when this homeless man came in after her. She seemed so distressed in fact, that she ran behind the counter to where the employees stand and started talking to a fellow barista in worried tones. I'm not sure what happened but she wanted us to call the police. From the bits and pieces that I gathered, however I think he must've said something to her that scared her.
Now that he is no longer able to go to the other store he comes to ours every day. (Girls, it's -16 degrees out there right now. I know he has places to go and I believe he frequently attends Walmart and walks around. I'm assuming he goes dumpster diving.) Anyways, he always comes in with these crazy outfits on (sleeveless shirt in this weather, some yellow rain boots, and some pants, etc) and if he comes in for a moment and doesn't buy coffee he usually leaves. If he buys coffee he stays but keeps to himself. He'll generally only talk to those that work at my store, and customers that talk to him (which is pretty much no one).
I honestly think that he has a mental problem. The things he talks about are completely random. He's really funny sometimes but I haven't talked to him for long periods of time, just moments here and there. The other day he went out into the snow and started throwing snow balls around but keeping the snow in the snow. It was near where the drive through was but it was at least 100 ft away. Customers kept asking me what was going on and what he was doing like he was going to rob their car or something. In my opinion if it was a five year old playing in the snow then they wouldn't be having these problems.
Some of my co-workers think we need to kick him out. Ban him from the store. Something besides let him come in. But I think that they are crazy. I'm not saying I'm his favorite fan in the whole world, but I don't think he deserves to get kicked out simply because he may have some mental problems and may be strange, oddly dress, and homeless. He doesn't reek. He isn't invasive. He rarely loiters. So I find no reason for this. I know I have to leave all these decisions up to my boss. But is there anything I should do in the meantime? Am I wrong for the way I think? I've just never dealt with something like this before.