Post # 1
Ok heres the story. FI and I made up our minds a long time ago that we would have an adult only reception. There are 5 million kids in our families and some are not so well behaved, so that along with the cost we decided a one rule fits all and just said that the reception would be adult only. Unless you are in the wedding party.. which is FI and my son, who is leaving early bc he cant be up that late, and our ushers both 17 so close enough IMO.
So FI’s mom flipped because she has two young children of 8 and 11. Now these are honestly the two worste behaved children I have ever met, but It wasnt my decision to not have them attend it was my FIs. We both agree in our opinion a reception is no place for children. There is just to much going on and our friends and family are a rowdy bunch. They dont need to be around that.
Anyways his mom is pissed saying that I crossed the line and now she doesnt want to even come to the wedding at all…. Ok umm.. idk they can attend the ceremony and will be in pictures!! We just dont want children at the reception. Is this unreasonable?
I get that they are siblings but I cant make an exeption for them and have 15 other sets of parents pissed off because they got sitters etc. Not to mention they arent close.. I dont mean that in a mean way but they didnt grow up together etc. His mom just randomly decided to have round 2 of kids with her 5th husband.
Bees you are some of the smartest woman I know/dont know lol what would you do?
Post # 3
You are not being unreasonable. Hold your ground or you will be miserable at your reception while those two little monsters are running around. It perfectly reasonable that the sibs attend the wedding and then go home with a sitter. And you’re right: if you give in to this request then everyone else will want to bring their kids. It’s a slippery slope. Stay off! lol
Post # 4
Oh dear. If it’s FMIL’s kids and your fiance’s siblings, I would have to make an exception in this case.
Maybe just send them home early too?
Post # 5
i don’t think you are being unreasonable at all! kids still cost you a plate and they don’t even eat it..plus it changes the whole party atmosphere because parents are busy running after their kids instead of having fun and dancing.
i’m having a destination wedding so i ave no real choice to let them bring their kids.. but otherwise i wouldn’t want them there either.
his mom will come around..she’s just being difficult to ahve her way..when people tell methat if i don’t do whatever, they won’t come…i say “fine then don’t come” well i say it nicer then that, but essentially that’s what i’m saying!
however it might be touchy becaue your son is there… but he is leaving early so…
look people will ahve problems with everything and anything you do on your wedding day, you just have to push on through and do it the way you and FI want
Post # 6
I say hold your ground. I think you understood that this would be controversial when you made the decision, and and that was a burden you were willing to bare. I can understand why she would be upset, but I think you’re being perfectly reasonable.
Post # 7
A lot of people make exceptions for close family. It is entirely up to you though who you want at your wedding. If you don’t want them there stand your ground.
Post # 7
@Just_Squeeze: I agree with this. While I understand a “no kids” reception, I would sure think mother of the groom’s children, which happen to be Groom’s siblings WOULD be invited, regardless of their ages.
Post # 8
Wait…so these are your FMIL’s children and your FI’s siblings? I think you are starting a war that doesn’t need to be started.
Post # 9
I am the first one to defend “adult only” weddings (we’re having one and wouldn’t have it any other way) but, if either of us had young siblings we would make an exception for them. It’s one thing when we’re talking nieces, nephews and cousins but siblings are different in my book.
With that said, if these kids are a nightmare and will more than likely make a scene or ruin something then you are well within your rights to request that they not be in attendance. It’s YOUR day so no-one else gets to dictate anything.
Post # 11
I agree that siblings should trump cousins and friends and such. Since you have a child of your own who will be there, I think it’s a lot harder to say no to young siblings. If there were literally going to be no children there whatsoever, I’d say stand your ground. But since your son will be there, I think it’s right to let FI’s siblings be there too.
Post # 12
I would want to make an exeption if they werent the worst children ever FI’s words not mine. Its not really my place to say yes if he doesnt want them there.. but its for good reason. At our baby shower they were running around popping balloons opening preasents before I opened them and were throwing shrimp at eachother!! It was a circus.
Then at our sons first b day party (it was a a resturant) we had a private room then they went out to the gift shop area and were bringing toys and such in the private room, making all the workers nervouse they were stealing etc. 4 adults (everyone but their mom) told them they need to stop and they wouldnt…
I think these are the reasons why FI doesnt want them there… Nor do I. Im just picturing dirty little fingers in my beautiful wedding cake, centerpieces being knocked over etc. lol
Post # 14
And here’s another thing: Isn’t your own son going home early? It seems fair to just do an across-the-board ban on children. Your MIL will get over it and you’ll have a much nicer wedding.
Post # 15
oh and just a note… Our son will be there for maybe 45 min until the sitter gets off work and wouldnt be attending at all if everyone we knew wouldnt be attending the wedding lol