Post # 1
I had my dress fitting this last weekend. My bridesmaids were all really excited… Or so I thought. I’m a young bride, about to graduate college, my Maids of Honor (yes I said maids) are me two younger sisters ages 18 and 14, obviously can’t afford much. My best friends are my bridesmaids, one has been married less than a year and lives in Texas, the other is stabling out but was a huge partier, the last has a one year old daughter and a rocky relationship with her baby’s father.. she is who I had the problem with….
“Anna” called me the night before to tell me she could not afford to buy a dress right now and therefore could not go. I was dissapointed but not suprised about her situation; her baby daddy and her had recently broke up due to his issues with addiction and had moved back into her parents house. I have been there for her through everything. We have been best friends since the 5th grade. We texted about it a little bit after getting off the phone. In the end, I told her that I understand the money thing but I wanted to share this moment with her and offered to buy her dress, my other friend (the partier) offered to pitch in as well. She stopped answering. I waited, called her the next morning, no answer, she did not meet at my house ( we carpooled, my appointment was 3 hours away). I was pretty heartbroken. Texas girl obviously could not come but I expected her to come. Once we decided on a dress my mom offered to cover the bridesmaid dresses, I called “Anna” to ask her her size, texted, fb messaged, no answer. Later, I sent her a picture of the dress we chose and told her the price ( less than 100 dollars I might add). She hasn’t contacted me since, hasn’t even updated her status on Facebook, nothing. I’m worried that her baby’s father has come back in the picture and she is hanging on the downlow but I’m also afraid she’s really angry. She is one of my best friends and I want to have this time with her!
What would you Bees do??
Post # 3
@CBWFlove: I’d check in but leave her be. She’s made her position clear and I would respect that.
Post # 4
Give it a few days and then try again to ask her what’s going on. If she keeps ignoring you, I’d assume she isn’t interested in being in the bridal party.
Post # 5
@CBWFlove: Your friend does NOT want to be a bridesmaid so I would just let her bow out of it and be nice about it. Get her on the phone and give her an out…. if you push it or bring drama you will just damage the relationship further. Tell her you really hope shell come as a guest.
She sounds like drama anyway, Id just let that butterfly float right away.
Also why did you expect TX girl to come? Was that a typo? Flying in for a BMs fitting would be unreasonable.
Post # 6
I would leave a message expressing concern about what’s going on in her life that she is unable to respond. I would tell her that I love her and I’m there for her if she needs me.
I would make no mention of the wedding.
Post # 7
@CBWFlove: It sounds to me like something has come up. I’d just be concerned that she is ok. I’d go around to her house and see how she is.
Also a 6 hour round trip is pretty hard (to put it mildly) if you have a 1 year old, so I wouldn’t expect her to make it for that anyway.
EDIT: She’s struggling and unless she also declines the offer of a paid dress, I certainly wouldn’t drop a lifelong friend from the bridal party over this.
Post # 8
@MrsBuesleBee: Yes that was a typo! lol I did get her opinions before hand and called her while I was there.
Thank you, she does have a rough life and a lot going on… I know she was embarrassed about the money. I guess I should text soon and see what’s up because she REALLY needs to make a choice.
Post # 9
@julies1949: I agree, I am worried, but I’m also paranoid I offended her. No way to know but to ask!
@aussiemum1248: Thank you, I agree but her mom was supposed to watch her daughter, I wouldn’t have expected her to be there had she not have made arrangements prior, nor would I have questioned it if she said she couldn’t leave her daughter for that long.