What would you do????? Ceremony and Reception Gap situation

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What would you do?
    attend both the reception and ceremony : (36 votes)
    60 %
    attend just the reception : (24 votes)
    40 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    8720 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    People do it all the time where I’m from on the East coast. Some bees say it’s very rude though so you will get mixed responses. For me if I’m all dressed up and in high heels I have no interest in a local bar, mall, museum, etc. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    2684 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 1996

    californiabride2013:  Is your DH friends with anyone else who will be attending the wedding? Could you two maybe do something with them? How long is the gap? If it were me I’d just look on Yelp for local stuff. You could go somewhere for a drink. Is there enough time to see a movie?

    Post # 4
    Member
    373 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I’d look up some things to do and bring some casual clothes to change into if it would make you more comfortable. I’m used to weddings with long gaps, and I use them to go have fun with other friends, either. If nothing else, you could bring a book and look up a coffeeshop.  

    Post # 5
    Member
    3200 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    californiabride2013:  I think in this case, it would be acceptable to attend just the reception. Again, I think this falls more towards what is acceptable in your social circle, as everyone will have different reactions. I know when my sister got married there was a two hour gap between ceremony and reception (reception being twenty minutes away), so many of our out of state cousins and their friends simply attended the reception. They had a very intimate ceremony and then a full on party reception. It was very cool! That being said, I would not be offended if someone just attended my reception, and I doubt I would even notice! How long is the gap? If it’s more than one hour between the ceremony and the cocktail hour, I think it’s acceptable to just attend the reception. I wouldn’t want to be stuck hanging around an unfamiliar city for two, three, or four hours.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3828 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    This is why i cants stand gaps between ceremony and reception. Anything more than 1.5 hours is a pain in my opinion. You dont need 3 hrs for pictures.  

    Personally i would either just attend the reception or see if any of your friends are getting hotel rooms and hang out with them. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    3200 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    californiabride2013:  Three hours? Hell no. Just go to the reception. The bride and groom won’t notice. And honestly, I may be in the minority, but I’m never exactly jazzed to sit through the ceremony of a couple I don’t really know all that well. I think the ceremony, more than anything, should be intimate. Definitely opt out just for the reception. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1634 posts
    Bumble bee

     

    californiabride2013:  I doubt they’d even notice. If either of you were close with the couple, I’d answer differently, but a 3 hours gap in a small town with not a lot to offer an hour away from your home… No way, I’d just attend the reception.

    Post # 12
    Member
    743 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

    Let this serve as a PSA for brides thinking of having a gap. There are people who will not attend both events because what you are planning is rude and a waste of time. No one wants to cruise the mall for three hours in formal wear, nor does anyone need to ‘freshen up’ after a 30 minute ceremony (unless it involves mud wrestling)

    Gaps are rude. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    3828 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    californiabride2013:  well then they shouldn’t expect their guests to twaddle around for 3 hours inbetween the events….

    Post # 14
    Member
    3828 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    LDay1983:  FYI, your wedding is the wedding i wanted.  Backyard ceremony, go to a nice restaurant or have a BBQ. <br />Unfortunately i didnt get that but for our 5 year we are going to renew our vows the way i wanted to. Yyyyaaaahhh!!

    And i also agree with everything you said about gaps. I hate them. I dont know when they became standard.

    Post # 15
    Member
    743 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

    Swizzle:  aw, thanks.  Having a small wedding has still come with some drama – FI’s family seems to be upset there’s not a big blow out but it’s just not our style so we have had to be firm and stick to our guns about what we want.

    I can’t wait 🙂

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