Post # 1
First off, I would like to say that it’s not actually me who is experiencing this dilemma, I do have A friend who is going through this and I just wondered what you guys would do in her situation.
Okay, so imagine a baby name you hate. Like, that one name that just makes your lip curl, doesn’t matter of it’s modern or old fashioned or what. Just that one name that you really don’t like. It doesn’t have to be a girl’s name, but it is in this case. It doesn’t matter what the actual name is ( yeah, I am afraid my hormonal friend will read this and come after me so I’ll try to keep this impersonal) because this is specific to you.
Now, imagine you are pregnant, seven months to be precise. You and your SO have just started seriously considering baby names for your child, when your SO says ‘I would like to honour my mother by naming our daughter (insert your worst name ever).’ Now, your SO’s mother passed away when they were in their early twenties ( or younger, depending on your age) So you know this means a lot to them. But you just hate. That. Fucking. Name. So. Goddamn. Much. Your SO knows this.
What would YOU do?
Post # 3
Is it objectively horrible, or just something you in particular hate?
By that, I mean, is it a fairly normal name of a girl that bullied you in grade school or something, or is it like Wilideenema or Bertha or Tonsil? (No offense to any bees who might actually have those names……..)
Post # 4
Maybe try to compromise by naming the daughter the mom’s middle name? Or keep the mom’s name officially but agree on a nickname we both like and address her by the nickname.
Post # 5
@EffieTrinket: It’s something you find to be horrible objectively and personally. eg- hating Ashlyt for not sounding good or being a real name.
Post # 6
I would probably give the name I hate as the middle name that way I still get to pick one of the names that I like. Or even make the name that I like as the middle name and call the baby by that name instead of the name I don’t like.
Post # 7
I don’t mean to sound rude but if my body is carrying the sucker for nine months, I get veto power over the name. But I do think both parents should get a say in the name so I would make it the middle name.
Post # 8
@EffieTrinket: Is it objectively horrible, or just something you in particular hate?
This would make a difference, I think. If it’s just a name that isn’t your cup’a tea (not like an honestly horrid name) I would compromise. My mother died last year and I’d like to honor with her by incorporating her name into our baby’s name (if we have a girl). It’s name FI’s favorite, so we’re going to use it as a middle name.
Post # 9
I would say a compimise. When I had my child, I wanted the name Jaylynn, while my [now ex] boyfriend wanted Jasmine. We comprimsed with JazzLynn.
Post # 10
@Regina Phalange: This. That’s what middle names are for, right?
Post # 11
@EffieTrinket: Someones name is actually tonsil? LOL
I’d just tell him, flat out.
Post # 12
@AlwaysSunny: haha that’s what I thought too.
I’d ask why he’d always want to be reminded that his mother isn’t there anymore? I think it’d just be depressing. My mom goes by “Betsy” (although her name is Elisabeth, as is my middle name), and I would NEVER be able to name my child Betsy or Elisabeth. Maybe Elisabeth as a middle name, because she didn’t go by it, and it’s my middle name, but definitely not a first name. I’d be crushed every time I heard it until I didn’t associate it with my mom anymore, which I especially dislike the thought of.
And I’d also tell him I really don’t like the actual name, honestly. = Why should one of us hate the name of the kid? It’s not fair to the person who hates the name, no matter the reason.
Plus, quite frankly, the other person’s mom isn’t going to live forever. I think it’s unfair to honor the one who has passed already by something so permanent as a name, and the other mother has no “commemoration” so significant.
Maybe he could have more of a say in the name it if he did the carrying-for-9-months and birthing of it 😉 lol