What would you do if a bartender refused to serve you?

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m not pregnant.  If a bartender refuses to serve a visibly pregnant woman, I think it’s okay — she’s using her discretion.   We’re taught that any alcohol is so awful for a baby that I understand why a bartender would do that.  I will let you know in a year or so if it happens to me…=)

Post # 4
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would be livid if someone refused to serve me. I haven’t tried ordering anything, but I’m sure if they refused to serve me that I would leave. It’s totally none of their business what someone does with her own body.

Post # 5
Member
6200 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I would like to think that I would respond with facts/science to back up the fact that it wouldn’t hurt the baby, but I would probably lose my cool and either cry or start yelling that I wanted to speak to the manager. I’m kinda unpredictable emotionally so who knows.

I also don’t think I’ll drink while pregnant, though, even though I know it would be fine- alcohol makes me sick, so I would be setting myself up for failure.

Post # 7
Hostess
15072 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Refusing to serve on the basis someone is pregnant is technically illegal. I used to bartender and had several ladies that would come in for the occasional glass of wine, beer, or whatever. I never refused nor would any of my owners have allowed me to refuse. It’s was my job to serve, not to judge. The only time I refused to serve was people were already too drunk. 

Maybe I have a different look at drinking while pregnant, I’m older, it was my high risk obgyn who told me it was OK to occasionally have a cocktail after the first trimester. I wasn’t supposed to sit around and get sloshed, but a drink was hurting anything. He still says that today and he is one of the top specialists in the country now. 

Post # 9
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I wouldn’t serve a woman any more than a quarter-pint of beer or a 5oz glass of wine if she was more than 6 months pregnant or so. So yes, you were within your rights to order that much. I drink very sparingly, myself.

My FI used to be a bartender and he refuses to serve alcohol to anyone pregnant. He doesn’t drink, however, so he may have more of a personal stance on that subject.

Post # 10
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

I used to bartend and even though I would feel bad about it, if she orders it then I’m going to serve it.  If a bartender doesn’t want to serve a pregnant woman then they need to grab another bartender and ask them to deliver the drink for them.  It’s not a bartender’s place to make that decision and if it happened to me, I would close out my bill and tip $1.00 to show them my “appreciation” for them judging me on my 1/4 pint beer.

Post # 11
Member
10384 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Honestly, I don’t think I have the guts to publicly drink while pregnant. I might occasionally have the amount you are talking about – studies have definitely shown it to be ok! – but the judgemental wrath of the uneducated general population just isn’t worth it to me to drink in public.

Post # 12
Member
258 posts
Helper bee

My brother ex lost a baby because of drinking..sure she drank too much, but if i was a bartender I wouldnt serve you either 

Post # 14
Member
3948 posts
Honey bee

That would be illegal. If a woman decides to drink alcohol while preggers, that is her decision.

Post # 16
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Interesting, Haven’t been in this kind of situation. but my sister has, when she was about 6 months pregnant, she went to the corner store to get some snacks, and to pick up some beer for her SO, well the lady at the register looked at her so weird. almost baffled* and my sister just said, “what this baby is thirsty?!” Lol jokingly f course, then explained the situation. She did take me out for drinks last year on my birthday, i think she was about 2 months preg, and ordered a redbull, seeing as it was my bday, well when she ordered the redbull, the guy was like “with what?” and she said “umm…wiith ICE!” he said something of the sort to “no alcohol” and she said “nope, she was cooking a bun in the oven, ya know preggo?” and he just “That SUCKS!” she told him to f-off! while I don’t condone a person going out and getting plastered while they’re pregnant, I don’t think a bartender should say anything about it, unless it conflicts with the “you’ve had too much to drink tonight I can’t serve you any more” kind of thing.

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