(Closed) What would you do … if my family and his family ….

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Ours met at our engagement party…after we’d been together 3.5 years =]

They met each other again at the rehearsal and wedding. It went fine; everybody was on good behavior and chatty at dinner. It’s not like my parents had to hang out with his parents all night long–each set of parents have thier own family to entertain anyways.

Seriously no big deal. Too many people, too much going on with a wedding. They’ll all barely chat except for dinner =]

Post # 4
Member
2682 posts
Sugar bee

Do you have time to organize a dinner or get together before the wedding?  They got along, so thats the good thing πŸ™‚  They will see each other at the rehearsal dinner as well so I dont think you would worry if you cant get them together beforehand.

Post # 5
Member
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

I vote on organizing some sort of dinner or low-key get together. πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

our parents met a few days before our engagement party. our siblings will meet the evening before our wedding. everyone’s in disparate locations so it’s really not an option before that. they don’t get in until friday afternoon for our saturday wedding. we’re keeping dinner that night to low key, just our family venue so it should hopefully allow them some time to get to know each other. that said, it likely may not matter – as my mum puts it, it’s unclear when the siblings will ever meet again since they’re not even on the same continent. everyone will play nice and be courteous at the wedding, no worries.

Post # 7
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee

Do your families live far away from one another?  If it wouldn’t be too difficult logistically, I’d want to get teh parents together to spend some more time together  in a more low-key way before the wedding.  Maybe just a dinner or something.

Post # 8
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Our parents met in February, after we’d been together 3 years and 3 months before the wedding. It only happened this way because my MIL threw a fit and said she would not meet my parents for the first time at the wedding.

I knew it wasn’t practical for them to meet because they live 1,000 miles apart, and that’s why I arranged for our wedding to be at a B&B where family would stand and mingle all weekend. To me, that was the practical solution. But it’s not what happened. Oh, my parents met only his mom. My bro, his sister, and his dad were all in the picture for the first time the day before the wedding.

I think meeting once is sufficient unless someone is pushing for more. If it’s convenient, arrange for another dinner. At least you already know they like each other!

Post # 9
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Our families only met once – a dinner after graduating from college 3 years ago. Since my family lives in MI, his lives in DC and we live in Chicago, it is not natural for us all to hang out. My mom and sisters hung out w/ his mom and sister this past weekend for my bahcelorette party, but that’s been it, and will be it until the wedding weekend. Sometimes, distance doesn’t give many options. You just have to go with it and hope that everyone will be on good, friendly behavior for the wedding weekend.

Post # 10
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

My FI’s family lives abroad, so our parents have never met and won’t meet until the wedding (for various reasons that I’m not thrilled about, we can’t have a rehearsal dinner). I’m not that worried about it, though.

Post # 11
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Our parents have not met. The moms will meet at the first bridal shower (if his comes). The dad’s may not meet until the couple’s shower. We haven’t really worried about it too much. The family’s schedules are all so different, it is hard to coordinate things.

Post # 12
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

My parents have met his dad once, but they won’t meet his mom until the RD.  I don’t think it is a big deal.  I’m sure they will get along, and it’s really not as if they’ll be seeing much of each other ever again.  They live literally thousands of miles away from each other. 

Post # 13
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Dinner would be nice, but if you’re like me, all the families live in different cities…kind of hard to organize.  Our families are meeting probably for the first time (since none of our other plans to get them together have worked out thus far) at our rehearsal.  I think it’s a little odd, but I’m not really stressing over it.  They’re all grown ups and know how to be on their “good behavior.”

Also, I have invited a few sets of each parents’ friends, so it’s not as if the parents have only each other to talk with all night long…

I say that you’ll be fine.

Post # 14
Member
567 posts
Busy bee

our families first met at my baptism, my FI is greek orthodox so i took the classes and was baptized and my godfather threw me a huge party. anyway my parents are practically anti-social, they dont even really have friends they see outside of work, so i was super worried about them meeting my fiances huge greek family.  i love my fiances family and have known them for three years, theyre my kind of people, but i was also worried my fiances family wouldnt like my quiet, awkward parents.  luckily it went smoothly, they had a couple of drinks and everyone relaxed, and while my parents left a bit early, it seemed to go ok.

i wouldn’t worry about it, worst case scenario is that they don’t have great chemistry, in which case having alcohol around helps πŸ˜‰ but your families will most likely get along fine, and if they don’t, they’ll probably just have polite small talk.  you and your future husband are always a safe, neutral topic πŸ™‚

Post # 15
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

We’re coming up close to 4 years (holy hell), and due to logistical reasons, our parents haven’t met & won’t meet until a few days before the wedding!  The tradition of parents meeting & having each other for dinner, etc is a nice gesture, but really hard to make happen sometimes!

As for the families– in our case, we’re throwing a “Welcome Picnic” at the lake a few days before the wedding when all the guests roll into town! We’re inviting all the important extended family members & friends so they can all mingle a little beforehand. 

If you all live close together, perhaps you & your FI could throw a dinner party & invite your siblings, parents, grandparents, etc? 

Post # 16
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee

Are you having a rehersal?  Since rehersals are smaller than weddings, that would be a good start, but if there is no rehersal, maybe you could set aside a time for everyone to have dinner or something – like Fifty said.  If it can’t be done or you are stressing more by setting something up, let it go.  I’m sure everyone will be polite and behave.  πŸ™‚ 

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