(Closed) What would you do if you propose to him and he said no?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: What would you do if you proposed and he said no?
    breakup : (69 votes)
    33 %
    stay : (31 votes)
    15 %
    try to stay but be too heartbroken : (48 votes)
    23 %
    teach him a lesson : (3 votes)
    1 %
    no idea : (57 votes)
    27 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1079 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Wow.  I’m not sure what my response would be.  It would depend on so many things…  but crushed is really the only way I can think of describing how I’d feel. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1556 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’d be really sad. But I don’t think it would cause me to break up, but that all depends. As you said, it was a spur of the moment thing, so he might not have been too receptive to the idea. I can imagine that would just catch him off guard. I’ve actually discussed this with DH before and he said that he thinks it kind of “robs” the guy of the opportunity to ask you.

    Post # 5
    Member
    41 posts
    Newbee

    Would you mind telling have you engaged now? If I were you, I may ask the reason why he said no.But probably, I would leave after the failure propose. I will wonder if he likes me? if he is serious on this relationship? if he wants to marry me? And things come out bad, so I would def. leave after that unless he gives me an acceptable reason.

    Post # 6
    Member
    535 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I would definately talk to him and want to know why. Talk more and try to figure out whether or not we are on the same page. If we weren’t at all then I would probably have a difficult time staying with him.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3617 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I wouldn’t propose in the first place.  I know how important it is to him to do it.  So if I did I would expect him to say no. (I voted stay)

    Post # 10
    Member
    1685 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    It depends on his reasoning…

    If he felt that it was a little emasculating and it was important to him that he be the one to propose (i.e. his own fantasies about our future), I’d stay with him.

    If he said no because he couldn’t imagine us getting married, I’d probably leave because marriage is important to me.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1578 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

    I asked FI to marry me practically every other week. “Marry me.” or “Do you want to spend the rest of your life with me? Yes? Okay, let’s get married then…” and every time he’d say no. It didn’t break my heart. I know he wanted to ask me to marry him.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3617 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    @subtlebee:  I see what your saying.  And you’re right, women should be taken seriously.  But as much as I would love to propose it’s really important to my SO to do it.  He told me that he wants to surprise me, get down on one knee and do the whole traditional thing.  I wouldn’t want to take that moment, something that is so special and important to him, away.  It’s a personal thing I guess.

    Post # 13
    Member
    50 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I heard recently that womens biggest thing in a relationship is being listened to and mens is being respected. I think if they say no it could come down to them not being ready to take the next step, wanting to do the asking or not secure enough in the relationship to put such a stong emphasis on the future together.

    Regardless of who said no there should be a serious discussion about the future and expectations before anyone even ASKS the question. Throwing it out there without a prior understanding on how the other half of the couple feels, to me, is disrespectful, onesided and not taking the other persons feelings into consideration. 

    If you talked about wedding wants, kids and raising them, future house, future jobs, retirement plan, religious beliefs, and personal codes of ethics; and aren’t on the same page or negotiable on some aspects then the relationship may not make it through the engagement let alone till death. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    4049 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    Oh gee, I don’t know. If we had been together a long time and he said no because he wasn’t sure, then I would leave since I would want the commitment. If he said no because he wanted to propose, I’d probably stay.

    If I asked him super early in the relationship, I’d be crushed, but probably stay.

    I think. I don’t really know though! I don’t think I’d ever propose (though I usually think it’s sweet to hear of other ladies doing so).

    Post # 15
    Member
    1622 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    It would really depend on why he said no, to be honest.

    Post # 16
    Member
    546 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    It depends on the couple but IMO 7months is a bit early to get engaged. did you know each other for a long time before dating? are your ages a factor into your rush to get married?

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