(Closed) What would you do if your husband told you he'd leave if you gained weight?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Sorry, but my initial response is F that guy.   

Post # 4
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

You shouldn’t have to maintain a flawless and perfect appearance to be loved, next time he says that, tell him not the let the door hit him in the ass.

Post # 5
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

He kind of sounds like a dick.  Sorry… if anyone ever said that to me I’d be telling him to GTFO. 

Post # 6
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’d leave right now. It’s one thing for guys to say they prefer you to look a certain way, or they’re more turned on by it. I think that’s normal and natural. But to say that he’ll look elsewhere when you look older is so incredibly unacceptable. This is the type of situation the term “red flag” was created for.

Post # 7
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

WTF? That is one of the most messed up things a man can say to their significant other. I would not be having any of that.

I’m sorry but if it were me?… I would look elsewhere myself.

Post # 8
9627 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

My response is the same as Peachacid’s. 

Why on earth are you with someone who treats you like this?  Please gain some self-esteem and kick this jerk to the curb where he belongs.

Post # 9
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your SO should love you no matter what size you are. People fluctuate over time, it’s natural. I would seriously consider if you really want to be with someone who only wants to be with you if you look a certain way. Is that what you want to focus on the rest of your life? If it’s not, I would not stick around.

Post # 10
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

That is completely not ok. Sounds like he wants to make sure he gets to leave his optiins open for the rest of his life. Just because je has a special needs child doesn’t give hime the right to be a chauvanistic a-hole.

Sounds like he wants to always have some hot arm candy. I would think long and hard about marrying this man. It’s ok to prefer if your partner is in shape, but saying “I will cheat if you gain weight” is not ok in my book.

Post # 11
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

He’s being a dick.

Post # 12
9619 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

I would leave! What a jerk! True love is regardless of appearance!

Post # 13
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Was he joking?  If he has that high of a standard for you I would lay down the same rule for him.  He may mellow with age and he may remain that superficial until the end.  The real question is whether you want to take on that responsibility.  There is a difference between saying “I want you to stay fit and healthy because I love you and I want you to be around for a while” and “if you get fat I will leave you.”  Figure out which one he means and whether that’s okay with you.

And yes, a special needs child will become a special needs adult and there is no guarantee that your FH wouldn’t get saddled with the responsibility of taking care of him sometime in the future.  Is that something you want to deal with?  Just because they are special needs doesn’t mean they won’t live a long life and require 24 hour care and supervision until you or they die.

Post # 14
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If my Fiance said stuff like that/acted that way, he would no longer be my Fiance…he’d be an ex. And he’d be the ex that I shared stories about when comparing douchey exes with other people.

Post # 15
1815 posts
Buzzing bee

I’d tell him to go fcuk himself.

Post # 16
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

He sounds like a huge dick to me … and his son should be HIS responsibility, not yours. I’d get the hell out of dodge. 

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