- 2 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
FI and I are getting married this Saturday; we are eloping. A little back story: Last year FI and I were going through really hard times. He wasn’t working full time, I was working part time with a car payment and living with my mom to help her with rent and at the same time help me out. I also payed her car insurance. But my mom and I had a falling out. Not to get into details but I’ve always been the “parent” in the relationship and I moved out.
FI lived at home take care of his elderly parents so I couldn’t stay there. I rented a room which was fine for a while but money was tight. FI helped out a lot financially. Things were stable for a bit but you know the saying “when it rains it pours!” I ended up staying with my dad for a couple of months and my dad seeing that I was struggling he started blaming FI for not supporting me properly. Which I of course, disagreed. FI was doing everything he can to get us out of the shit hole situation we were in. Due to getting my hours cut and going to school, I lost my car due to lack of payments and phone cut off. My dad blamed FI for not helping, but that was my responsibility, not FI’s. FI helped sometimes but was focused more on making more money and saving.
My dad said he’ll help me get my own place and a car if I was to leave my FI because he felt he wasn’t providing for me. I got really upset and left. Was living in motels for a while. It was just me and FI alone.
Current day: We are back on our feet. FI got a six figure paying job, we have a two BDRM apt across from the beach and the bay right behind us. A very desired location in that city, getting married Saturday and going to TTC next month. We are so much happier, relaxed and comfortable than we were last year. However, my dad still wants nothing to do with him. He said he’s nothing but a loser and he’s not welcomed around the family because of the struggles we went through.
That got me really upset and told my dad that if he’s not welcomed, then I’m not either because he’s going to be my husband and father of my kids, my family. I also told him if he insist on insulting my FH then he won’t be allowed to see his future grandkids because remember, that “loser” is going to be their father.
Yes, FI and I struggled but we are in such a better place, especially financially and he supports me to the fullest. I understand as a father, it must’ve been hard for him to see me struggle but I’m living well now because of my FI and he still can’t accept that. I’m just stuck in the middle. FI was willing to talk to my dad because he loves me and wants me to be happy, my dad said he’s not welcome. I won’t allow anyone insult my FI but I want my parents to be involved in my life, especially when I have kids. I don’t care what they think as far as me getting married and being with him. But I do want them to be involved in my future kids life, but FI will not let them see them if they are continuously talking shit about him, nor will I.
How would you handle this situation? Would you stand by your husband no matter what?