What would you do in this situation?

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
9204 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

Honestly talk to him. I have issues with FI not initiating also, but then I tell him how that makes me feel, and he starts initiating again. Stop comparing your relationship to this other woman’s. Just think how you would feel about yours, if you didn’t hear anything about the other relationship? I wouldn’t worry too much, but talk to your husband about how you’re feeling.

Post # 4
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@born2teachuga:  I feel like the fact he’s been on night shift for 4 months says it all. I worked nights at a factory when I was a teenager for a summer, and then occassional nights throughout university at my part time job. There is no worse libido killer, seriously. Being on regular nights is really draining and hard on your body. Stop talking to that girl about her relationship, and stop comparing yours to other peoples! It’s not helpful and will make you more jealous and insecure.

Post # 5
989 posts
Busy bee

@born2teachuga:  being a police officer would be a really rough job. They see way more horrible things than the average person, they see life at its very worst. It is understandable given his career and work schedule that sex is not at the top of his list. 

I think you’re right that this other girl is putting seeds of doubt in your mind – you don’t know her that well and she’s dumping all of her relationship problems onto you. Her insecurities are hers alone – you can’t let her experience cloud your marriage. Especially if before talking to her, you didn’t feel this way. 

While your husband’s testosterone levels may be fine, it’s not taking into account that stress can be the biggest libido killer. It would be hard for a police officer to just switch off and forget about his day. As for the dispatch officer he communicates with – as long as it’s not inappropriate, there isn’t much harm. I highly doubt there is anything going on there for the simple reason of both of their jobs being so full on – there wouldn’t be the time to start an affair!

Don’t let this other woman get to you. Don’t allow her insecurities to manifest in your marriage. Understand that being a police officer would have to be the toughest job there is, let alone doing the night shift on top of that. Just talk to your husband – if you have concerns, just talk.

Post # 6
873 posts
Busy bee

how long do you actually go between having sex?

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