What would you do in this situation?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What would you do?
    Invite George and Jose. Jose needs to put on his big girl pants. : (55 votes)
    83 %
    Not invite George anywhere to maintain peace between Jose and Emily. : (1 votes)
    2 %
    Watch X-Files with your cat, and ignore everyone you know. Except your husband. : (9 votes)
    14 %
    Also don't ignore your parents. And your grandparents. : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1721 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @peachacid:  I think you should invite both of them.  Fact of the matter is they run in the same circles, like it or not.  If all he’s doing is pouting bc the other guy is there then just ignore him and don’t give him the attention he obviously wants.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1175 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @peachacid:   I would invite them both and let it work itself out.   Jose needs to quit being a whiney sissy lala and get over it.

    Post # 5
    Member
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Emily is YOUR FRIEND

    George is a Friend of the Family and in particular YOUR HUBBY

    Jose is Emily’s current squeeze… (it used to be George)

    Jose is jealous of George

    George doesn’t seem like he cares either way what Jose thinks (and maybe not even Emily)

    Emily obviously finds it problematic that Jose has issues with George

    And she isn’t so jazzed that you invited George to an event her & Jose will be at.

    In truth this is Emily & Jose’s problem… not yours

    STAY OUT OF IT

    In future continue to invite whomever you like…

    What goes on is NO CONCERN to you… UNLESS it ends up in your lap

    (ie at some event Jose punches out George, or Emily comes to you to BEG you to change your Hostessing routine)

    UNTIL THEN… I would truly try not to worry about it.

    Everyone is adults here… after 4 years, they should be able to either be civil to each other, or “the offended” (READ over sensitive) folks should make other plans to fill their social calendar… (ie turn down an Invite, and find other ways to socialize with you & your Hubby)

    Hope this helps,

     

    Post # 7
    Hostess
    11469 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    @peachacid:  Seriously?!? If you hadn’t said Jose was 53 I would have seriously questioned if you SIL was dating a toddler.

    Invite them both and tell your SIL that unfortunately you don’t cater to childish behavior. If Jose wants to come he can don his big “girl” panties and act like an adult. Simply ridiculous. We all interact with people we don’t like. It’s called maturity…deal with it and move on.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2421 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    I’d invite who I wanted at my party.  He can choose to accept or decline the invitation.  I assume there will be more than just the 5 of you at this party.  (If not, that’d be mega awkard.)  Jose will have other people to chat with.  And, if possible, I’d extend the invitation to his lady friend to join.  

    Post # 10
    Hostess
    11469 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    @peachacid:  …and she likes this guy? 😉

    Sorry you have to deal with all the immaturity surrounding you. Tough spot to be in.

    Post # 11
    Member
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Thanks for the UPDATE

    Ok, now this means to me, that this scenario has changed…

    That puts it in YOUR LAP

    You need to take her aside as a BFF and have a chat

    You need to tell her the next time this comes up that you understand how complicated this has become for her

    But George is a friend of your Hubby (family)

    and She is your friend

    Be sure and tell her YOU LOVE HER

    Tell her you will support her… and her hopes & dreams

    BUT her relationship with Jose is causing you BOTH grief.

    It is upsetting her (she skipped out on part of your Wedding to sit in a car to ARGUE with Jose)

    And it is upsetting you (because it WORRIES YOU… so much so that on YOUR WEDDING DAY you missed her and worried about her so much that you went looking for her being awol)

    Honest if she has half-a-brain she’ll will see how effed up that is…

    On the HAPPIEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE… HER RELATIONSHIP DRAMA was front & centre

    Undecided *rolls eyes*

    After that… she’ll either say something out loud about that (an apology) OR you need to say that as her friend you want to see her happy, and you are concerned if Jose makes her truly happy

    In so much as all this mess is obviously is spreading beyond just the normal “it is her Ex” kind of thing.

    Tell her you support her with whatever she chooses to do…

    BUT In your opinion she needs to do something so she can get on with living her life in a more “normal / happy” kind of way

    Hopefully, she’ll wake up and smell the coffee

    — — —

    PS… And if she is a smart cookie, she’ll SEE that Jose is the problem… not George.  And well if Jose is a racist, then saying bye-bye wouldn’t be a huge loss.  Just saying.

    Hang in there, cause I know it sucks to watch people we love make bad choices (( HUGS ))

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    195 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @peachacid:  I’m kind of craving some good girl talk in the bathroom with beers, is that weird?   

    But to answer your first question, Jose needs to suck it up.  Maybe it’s a good thing he’s not in the pictures, maybe he’ll be on his way sometime soon… 

    Post # 14
    Member
    1041 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Is there more going on here? I mean seriously, did George beat her or something? Why do they hate him so much? I may not be best friends with all my exes but we are certainly all polite to each other.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3016 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

    Yes, I want to know more. Why is Jose acting so extremely? And what does SIL think about him pouting like that. Couldn’t have been all that fun at the wedding for her with an SO acting like a 7-yr old spoiled baby…

    Post # 16
    Member
    7664 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    Personally, I would be tempted to stay out of it. However, unfortunately then I have an idea how this would end if it was me. Eventually, I would probably just snap and start cursing Jose out.

    Don’t do what I would do. Unless you think there is more to this story, this is soooo not your problem. Invite them both and let them sort it out themselves.

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