Post # 1
Let me preface this by saying that I know what the “proper” thing to do is. I don’t need to be reminded. I just want to hear what you, personally, would do in this situation.
I will try to make this as short as possible. FH has been friends with “A” for about a decade. “A” and “B” had been together for 7 years before they got married. 3 months into the marriage, they got divorced. Everyone was shocked.
Turns out, “A” had been cheating with an intern at work ONE MONTH BEFORE THE WEDDING, up until the wedding, and all throughout the marriage.
A & B were always our “go to” couple for fun nights and hanging out. We were close to both of them, and we were both in the wedding.
Fast forward and our wedding is approaching. Invitations are going out soon. A and FH had lost touch and have been trying to ‘rekindle’ their friendship. For my FH, I agreed to be civil with A and his little ‘plaything’. The start of this was accepting a friend request on FB. A couple of days after this, she had the nerve to post on her wall “It’s like meeting the man of your dreams… and then meeting his beautiful his wife :)”, which she then “liked” herself.
I freaked out. I told FH that, because A has been a friend for a long time, I can’t stop A from coming to the wedding, but I forbid the girl from being invited or showing up.
They have been together over a year (counting 4 months of cheating), but I don’t care. I don’t feel like someone who is proud of sleeping with married men deserves the pleasure of witnessing the beginning of a marriage. To add to it, this isn’t some random girl, this is a girl who bragged about sleeping with my friend’s husband.
WHat would you do in this situation and why?
Post # 3
I should add that we are allowing our technically single (ie not married) adult friends to bring guests, so it will be obvious that this girlfriend was not invited for a reason.
Post # 4
I wouldnt want that girlfriend to come. I would invite FH’s friend only
Post # 5
I would invite A+guest. He’s been in a relationship with her for a year and regardless how it happened, its still what you should do.
He does sound like a scum bag though.
Post # 6
B is still your friend, right? Is she coming to the wedding? Friends of mine went through something similar and the groom had to go to the guy (cheater) and basically disinvite him because his ex was a bridesmaid. The cheater understood and the guys eventually became friends again. I think if B is coming to the wedding, A should not be invited – and even if you do decide to invite him, the gf should absolutely NOT be invited. This isn’t a normal situation. If the A isn’t total scum, he should understand.
Post # 7
I just don’t know if you can invite him without his floozie girlfriend? Obviously the girl has no moral compass, but neither does ‘A’ if he cheated before and during the marriage. If you’re trying to reconnect, I guess what the “proper” thing to do would be to accept him as he is… as much as it makes your cringe.
Ugh… I would feel stuck. Are you inviting ‘B’? The ex-wife? Or have you guys lost touch with her? Because that could definitely cause some drama… and I would completely avoid inviting said floozie if she was coming.
Post # 8
If I were you, she wouldn’t be coming to my wedding. “I don’t feel like someone who is proud of sleeping with married men deserves the pleasure of witnessing the beginning of a marriage.” <– This I agree with 100% and would be my reasoning all the way!
Post # 9
To keep the piece I would just let him bring her, but probably just avoid them during the wedding. Which shouldn’t be that hard to do because you’ll have a thousand other people to talk to. I was in a very similar situation x2. I had two separate cousins whose spouses cheated on them and put them through hell this year, and in both situations they continue to “work on things” and I was told I needed to invite them to the wedding. I actually tried not to with my shower but there was drama and it just wasn’t worth it. I hated that people who care so little about the sanctity of marriage were on our guest list but ultimately it wasn’t a battle I wanted to wage. On the day of I said a polite hello and moved on with my day as though they didn’t exist.
Post # 10
I am usually against this but this is where inviting the guy with no +1 is in order.
Although, he is just as much of a turd as she is imo.
Post # 11
The best man in my wedding is the cheater except he called off his wedding 3 months beforehand. I tried to raise the issue of not letting HER come to the wedding but I was just making myself look stupid. It’s an unpleasant situation but since we gave everyone else a plus one I couldn’t not give him one. She’ll be there but I WON’T be giving her a second thought.
Post # 12
What a rough situation for you! If I were you, I’d invite A, but let him know that right now you can’t let him bring “plaything” because they are not married and you’re concerned it would make B feel too uncomfortable. Maybe he’ll decide to not even come to the wedding, and then problem solved! But really, you have every right to tell him he can’t bring this woman.
Post # 13
I don’t see how A is any better than his new squeeze. He cheated on his wife. If you’re going to see past his errors and try and be his friend, I think you should invite both of them since they are a couple.
Frankly though, I wouldn’t invite either of them. You’ve apparently “lost touch” anyway, so why bother? Especially if B is coming, I wouldn’t want that kind of potential drama at my wedding.
Post # 14
oo.. this is very hard.. I would invite both of them but understand if one of both of them chose to not come. Is she a Bridesmaid or Best Man or just a guest?
Post # 15
How good of friends were you with B? Will she be invited to the wedding?
I would be tempted not to invite A or that woman he was cheating on B with. I think there is just as much reason, if not more, to be angry and repulsed by A’s behavior than with the new woman’s.
Post # 16
I would invite her but possibly ignore her or, if unable to do that, be VERY cool with her. And seat them at the worst table EVER!! I would also toy with the idea, though probably not actually go through with, writing her name on her escort card as “Grotsky Biatch.”