(Closed) What would you do? Invite a cheater?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Who would you invite?
    FH's friend and the new girlfriend : (27 votes)
    23 %
    FH's friend only : (43 votes)
    37 %
    Neither! : (44 votes)
    38 %
    Other : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 4
    9029 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I wouldnt want that girlfriend to come. I would invite FH’s friend only

    Post # 5
    3943 posts
    Honey bee

    I would invite A+guest. He’s been in a relationship with her for a year and regardless how it happened, its still what you should do.

    He does sound like a scum bag though.

    Post # 6
    38 posts
    • Wedding: May 2009

    B is still your friend, right? Is she coming to the wedding?  Friends of mine went through something similar and the groom had to go to the guy (cheater) and basically disinvite him because his ex was a bridesmaid.  The cheater understood and the guys eventually became friends again.  I think if B is coming to the wedding, A should not be invited – and even if you do decide to invite him, the gf should absolutely NOT be invited.  This isn’t a normal situation.  If the A isn’t total scum, he should understand.

    Post # 7
    482 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I just don’t know if you can invite him without his floozie girlfriend?  Obviously the girl has no moral compass, but neither does ‘A’ if he cheated before and during the marriage. If you’re trying to reconnect, I guess what the “proper” thing to do would be to accept him as he is… as much as it makes your cringe.

    Ugh… I would feel stuck.  Are you inviting ‘B’?  The ex-wife?  Or have you guys lost touch with her?  Because that could definitely cause some drama… and I would completely avoid inviting said floozie if she was coming.

    Post # 8
    340 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    If I were you, she wouldn’t be coming to my wedding. “I don’t feel like someone who is proud of sleeping with married men deserves the pleasure of witnessing the beginning of a marriage.” <– This I agree with 100% and would be my reasoning all the way!

    Post # 9
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    To keep the piece I would just let him bring her, but probably just avoid them during the wedding. Which shouldn’t be that hard to do because you’ll have a thousand other people to talk to. I was in a very similar situation x2. I had two separate cousins whose spouses cheated on them and put them through hell this year, and in both situations they continue to “work on things” and I was told I needed to invite them to the wedding. I actually tried not to with my shower but there was drama and it just wasn’t worth it. I hated that people who care so little about the sanctity of marriage were on our guest list but ultimately it wasn’t a battle I wanted to wage. On the day of I said a polite hello and moved on with my day as though they didn’t exist. 

    Post # 10
    3142 posts
    Sugar bee

    I am usually against this but this is where inviting the guy with no +1 is in order.

    Although, he is just as much of a turd as she is imo.

    Post # 11
    3176 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    The best man in my wedding is the cheater except he called off his wedding 3 months beforehand. I tried to raise the issue of not letting HER come to the wedding but I was just making myself look stupid. It’s an unpleasant situation but since we gave everyone else a plus one I couldn’t not give him one. She’ll be there but I WON’T be giving her a second thought.

    Post # 12
    1890 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    What a rough situation for you!  If I were you, I’d invite A, but let him know that right now you can’t let him bring “plaything” because they are not married and you’re concerned it would make B feel too uncomfortable.  Maybe he’ll decide to not even come to the wedding, and then problem solved!  But really, you have every right to tell him he can’t bring this woman.

    Post # 13
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I don’t see how A is any better than his new squeeze. He cheated on his wife. If you’re going to see past his errors and try and be his friend, I think you should invite both of them since they are a couple.

    Frankly though, I wouldn’t invite either of them. You’ve apparently “lost touch” anyway, so why bother? Especially if B is coming, I wouldn’t want that kind of potential drama at my wedding.

    Post # 14
    5170 posts
    Bee Keeper

    oo.. this is very hard.. I would invite both of them but understand if one of both of them chose to not come. Is she a Bridesmaid or Best Man or just a guest?

    Post # 15
    1664 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    How good of friends were you with B?  Will she be invited to the wedding?

    I would be tempted not to invite A or that woman he was cheating on B with. I think there is just as much reason, if not more, to be angry and repulsed by A’s behavior than with the new woman’s.

    Post # 16
    2313 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I would invite her but possibly ignore her or, if unable to do that, be VERY cool with her. And seat them at the worst table EVER!! I would also toy with the idea, though probably not actually go through with, writing her name on her escort card as “Grotsky Biatch.”

    The topic ‘What would you do? Invite a cheater?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors