- 4 years ago
I’ll try to keep this short. I have an older half brother (we have the same dad) he is 12 years older than I am. We were never particularly close because he’s so much older. He spent summers with us and then when he was 15 or 16 moved in with us full time until he was about 19. He was constantly in trouble growing up. He and my dad had a big fight and he moved out and they didn’t speak for a few years. Even after they started speaking things were always kind of shakey. Then my brother had an accident and became addicted to pain killers and eventually this led to other drug addictions. He’s been in and out of jail and always lucky enough to get to go to rehab instead of prison.
A couple of years ago he moved back in with my parents after getting out of rehab. We found pills hidden around the house, a pipe (for cocaine) and my mother’s jewelry started to go missing. Eventually my dad realized my brother had stolen about $500 from my parents bedroom. My dad required my brother to pay rent, but instead of depositing it into his own bank was saving it to give back to my brother when he was ready to move out on his own again. My brother did not know that that was what the money was from. They kicked him out and stopped speaking to him. I continued to speak to him during this time.
Evenutally he tested positive for drugs and had violated his probation. He admitted himself into a detox program and then was supposed to turn himself in. When he was released from the detox program he called me and asked for a ride to the bus station. He said I was the only one. This led to hours of me driving him around while he tried to find some “friend” who owed him money. At the time I was only 21 and he’s much older than me so I did as he asked. I knew I was being manipulated but didn’t really know how to stand up to him. This ended with him taking me into a terrible part of town and him very obviously trying to buy drugs. I lost it at that point. I started screaming at him and refused to stop the car so he could get out. Finally he asked me to take him to our cousins where he stayed the night before taking a bus to the county he was originally arrested in to turn himself in.
I have not spoke to him since then. He went into rehab and after that I don’t really know what has gone on. Lately he has been trying to get in touch with me again. I emailed his brother (not related to me) and asked how he was doing. He thinks he is doing well. He said he is in school and is living with a girlfriend and her 8 year old daughter. I feel so torn! Part of me is so scared for that poor woman and her daughter, the other is so hopeful he’s finally turned it around. My fear is my brother is sooo good at manipulation and lying. If he’s truly better I’d love to finally start to have a real relationship with my brother, but if he’s not I’m afraid of bringing his toxicness back into my life. I also don’t want to upset my parents. He was really horrible to them and they didn’t deserve that. I don’t want them to see this as me taking his side. What would you do?