What would you do? Recycled ring question.

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
Member
13004 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’d be pretty pissed if he gave me jewlery like that and presented it as if he bought it for me.  If he told me and asked if I wanted it, that’d be different and I’d be more ok with that, especially if I had the choice to take the stone (if it was a nice/expensive stone) and reset it into something of my own.

Post # 3
Hostess
9903 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

realtreegal:  I think there’s a big difference between a second hand ring and a ring bought for another woman by your SO.

If I found out my DH had purchased my ring with the intentions of giving it to another woman and then gave it to me I’d feel icky about it. 

Post # 4
Member
537 posts
Busy bee

My ex did this to me. He gave me a diamond necklace for my birthday and I loved it. I didn’t find out until after he broke up with me that he gave it as a gift to his previous girlfriend and had asked for it back when they broke up. It pissed me off even more and it actually made me feel sick that he couldn’t even think enough of me to get me a gift that represented our relationship. After all I found out about him once our relationship was through, I was glad that he broke it off.

Needless to say, I am not a fan of recylced relationship jewelry. As you said, vintage and estate pieces are totally different. But jewelry kept from past relationships passed on to a new SO? No thank you. That just screams “lazy” and “thoughtless” to me.

Post # 5
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If it was from a previous relationship, absolutely not. Thats not personal at all. If it was pre-owned from a stranger or family member then that wouldnt bother me. An engagement ring is very sentimental and the thought behind it matters a lot. 

Post # 6
Member
2041 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 1995

I would feel used and unappreciated and I would be PISSED!!!

Post # 7
Member
703 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

majorairhead:  Exactly! If I recieved a recycled gift that he gave to an ex-girlfriend I would be super angry. That is not cool. 

Post # 8
Member
6496 posts
Bee Keeper

If it was actually worn by SO’s ex before, then I would definitely not want it. But if SO bought it, hadn’t given it to her yet, and then they broke up or whatever, I don’t think I’d really mind. It depends, though. If it was custom made for her/she helped with the design, that’d be weird. If he just thought it was a pretty ring when he bought it, then that’s a bit different to me.

Post # 9
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May

HUGE difference between recycled from a family member or pawn shop OR recycled from a previous relationship. And if he presented it as new then he needs to start packing his bags and find a new sucker. 

Post # 10
Member
8601 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Uhhh yeah. Not ok with me! That’s just dirty! Men don’t think sometimes so they probably arnt even aware this is a no no. Why wouldn’t the guy just use the old ring to trade in towards the new ring.  

Post # 11
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I would not be okay with this. It’s one thing to know that your fiancé had a prior engagement/intention to marry another, but getting the ring he used for that failed relationship? Hell no!

Post # 12
Member
211 posts
Helper bee

I wouldn’t be ok with this either but I agree with the poster who said some men may not even think this is a no no, especially if he had picked something classic e.g. RB solitaire, but had never given it to the previous SO.  He’s just thinking, this is a fabulous ring, it was my favourite before and it’s still my favouite so I want to give it to the love of my life now… type thing.  But if she had had involvement in designing it or it was an unusual design specifically created for her, then no.

Post # 13
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper

That’s some bad juju. He should sell it and use that money to buy you a different ring. 

Post # 14
Member
1335 posts
Bumble bee

Hell no do I want any gift that my man had previously given another woman, took it back, and now gifted to me.  I don’t care what other people say, in my book that’s unbelievably effed up in it’s lack of thought, consideration, and super cheapness.  No f*cking way I would stay with a man who is that big of a dumba$$.

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