Post # 1
What would you do if you found out SO gave the ring you are wearing to another woman FIRST? If he was engaged before or just dating and gave the ring to her before he gave it to you? If he lied about it Or if he told you up front, would this matter? I have seen a few posts about this on other pages and I am just curious how women would react to this. Knowing you are getting a recycled ring from lets say an estate sale or even a pawn shop BEFORE hand is different (like because of budget issues or what not), I am talking about not knowing he used this ring w/ another woman and then passed it off to you as it was purchased with you in mind and then finding out later. I would be hurt and confused. I would look at the ring and think of him and another woman. I just don’t think I could deal with that very well.
Post # 2
I’d be pretty pissed if he gave me jewlery like that and presented it as if he bought it for me. If he told me and asked if I wanted it, that’d be different and I’d be more ok with that, especially if I had the choice to take the stone (if it was a nice/expensive stone) and reset it into something of my own.
Post # 3
realtreegal: I think there’s a big difference between a second hand ring and a ring bought for another woman by your SO.
If I found out my DH had purchased my ring with the intentions of giving it to another woman and then gave it to me I’d feel icky about it.
Post # 4
My ex did this to me. He gave me a diamond necklace for my birthday and I loved it. I didn’t find out until after he broke up with me that he gave it as a gift to his previous girlfriend and had asked for it back when they broke up. It pissed me off even more and it actually made me feel sick that he couldn’t even think enough of me to get me a gift that represented our relationship. After all I found out about him once our relationship was through, I was glad that he broke it off.
Needless to say, I am not a fan of recylced relationship jewelry. As you said, vintage and estate pieces are totally different. But jewelry kept from past relationships passed on to a new SO? No thank you. That just screams “lazy” and “thoughtless” to me.
Post # 5
If it was from a previous relationship, absolutely not. Thats not personal at all. If it was pre-owned from a stranger or family member then that wouldnt bother me. An engagement ring is very sentimental and the thought behind it matters a lot.
Post # 6
I would feel used and unappreciated and I would be PISSED!!!
Post # 7
majorairhead: Exactly! If I recieved a recycled gift that he gave to an ex-girlfriend I would be super angry. That is not cool.
Post # 8
If it was actually worn by SO’s ex before, then I would definitely not want it. But if SO bought it, hadn’t given it to her yet, and then they broke up or whatever, I don’t think I’d really mind. It depends, though. If it was custom made for her/she helped with the design, that’d be weird. If he just thought it was a pretty ring when he bought it, then that’s a bit different to me.
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May
HUGE difference between recycled from a family member or pawn shop OR recycled from a previous relationship. And if he presented it as new then he needs to start packing his bags and find a new sucker.
Post # 10
Uhhh yeah. Not ok with me! That’s just dirty! Men don’t think sometimes so they probably arnt even aware this is a no no. Why wouldn’t the guy just use the old ring to trade in towards the new ring.
Post # 11
I would not be okay with this. It’s one thing to know that your fiancé had a prior engagement/intention to marry another, but getting the ring he used for that failed relationship? Hell no!
Post # 12
I wouldn’t be ok with this either but I agree with the poster who said some men may not even think this is a no no, especially if he had picked something classic e.g. RB solitaire, but had never given it to the previous SO. He’s just thinking, this is a fabulous ring, it was my favourite before and it’s still my favouite so I want to give it to the love of my life now… type thing. But if she had had involvement in designing it or it was an unusual design specifically created for her, then no.
Post # 13
That’s some bad juju. He should sell it and use that money to buy you a different ring.
Post # 14
Hell no do I want any gift that my man had previously given another woman, took it back, and now gifted to me. I don’t care what other people say, in my book that’s unbelievably effed up in it’s lack of thought, consideration, and super cheapness. No f*cking way I would stay with a man who is that big of a dumba$$.
Post # 15
majorairhead: I agree 100% I think the ring is very special and signifies the relationship and it should be new to both of them. Even if it was used before by another couple, new to the couple is very important.