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P.S. SOrry - I think I posted this in the wrong category - but it's not Wedding Related!!!! What to do...
My FI's family is like this too, but luckily they don't send me the forwards, just him. But this doesn't stop his dad especially from trying to provoke a political argument with me every time I see him. My strategy is to let FI rant and rave (he's had a lifetime of arguing with them, so he's got very well-developed arguments at this point, where I just tend to sputter and rage) and to just politely but firmly say I'd rather just not talk about it. So maybe you could just send her an e-mail asking her to stop sending these things to you. If she's sending that many, a reasoned rebuttal of all of the nonsense in the e-mails is probably not going to get you anywhere---if she were rational she wouldn't beieve them in the first place, so responding with rationality isn't likely to work. I would just ask her to stop sending them.
People like that aren't going to respond to logic and reasoning. Your best bet is to ignore them. Personally, I'd probably just send all her e-mails straight to my SPAM folder and maybe scroll through them sometimes in case there's a real e-mail in there.
I would just send her a short email letting her know that you would like to be taken off her forwarding list. I wouldn't try to say anything about how the emails offended you or anything - just ask that she stop sending them to you. That way, you avoid starting any sort of conflict and you don't have to read the emails anymore!
i get emails like that all the time... everybody is entitle to their own opinion... i dont defend her, but what for you is ignorant maybe for her is the true... my experience is that this kind of people dont change even if you put the true in their face... so no sweat... write one email asking her to please stop sending you this emails because you have different view of the thing.... if she doesnt stop then go to your email setting and block her emails... good luck
Yeah, ignorant, hateful people are not rational, so it is best to just say "Stop, please." If she tries to egg you on by retorting, just tell her you've made your email recognize those emails as SPAM and I doubt she'll continue to send them.
I'm sorry that someone is doing this to you. I have learned (the hard way) that even the most educated and comprehensive responses to political screeds fall on deaf ear. In the family context, it is often not worth the time, energy and emotion to go there.
I've found that a politely worded email asking to be taken off of the political forward list usually does the trick without creating a war. If she doesn't abide your request, you can have FI talk to her and request that you not be included on those emails. I, one time, made the statement by sending the request to the entire forward list... but that wasn't in a family context.
I did have to de-friend someone on Facebook who kept posting racist statements about the President. Hopefully you won't have to block her email!
I put to let the whole thing go. If they know your political views are different and they're still sending them, then they don't really care what your political views are. Possibly they don't even realize you're on the forwarding list. Maybe they send them to everyone in their email list. If they ask you about them in person, you can then respond that you don't agree (in a nice way of course) but don't spark a religion or politics argument. Not with your in laws, and especially if there's no hope in changing their minds, because then you're just wasting time.
I would just politely say that I don't agree with her political views and ask not to be included on her forwards in future.
Yeah, I have to agree with the previous posters; just ask her politely not to send you forwarded emails anymore.
I think a lot of people don't realize what they are sending is offensive. If you send an e-mail back explaining that you're not into political humor, and can she please refrain from forwarding political jokes your way, she'll get the hint without starting an argument. It's possible that she doesn't know you don't share her views.
Also, you should NEVER reply to political e-mails with rebuttals. No one is going to change their mind. Politics is one strange animal and for some reason everyone has to attach to "one side" or "the other side." No one really considers independent thought. The whole system is set up to be "us vs. them."
could you just report her emails as spam and let your spam filter take care of those emails so they're not taking up space in your inbox?
Don't go off on her or research anything. That will come off as really agressive on your part.
I also recommend a spam filter. Don't read another message. Not even one. You will just get more upset about this. Just delete every single one, and try not to read the subject line if you can help it.
If you feel you must respond, make it short. "Please stop forwarding me these messages." That's all you have to say.
If you feel like you must provide an explanation, this might work: "My inbox has a small size limit and I always have to delete them anyway."
Or if that excuse won't work, you could be diplomatic about your issues with it: "I don't agree with the sentiments in these messages, and they aren't going to change my mind." That's the most confrontational you can be without really damaging the relationship.
Several years ago a good friend of mine kept sending me anti-muslim emails. I usually just deleted them and let it go, but when one that I found particularly offensive came my way, I finally sent her an email explaining that the content she was forwarding was offensive and inflamatory. I felt it was doing us a disservice to perpetuate the idea that ALL muslims hate Americans and ALL muslims agree with the extremists. She apologized and said her intent wasn't to offend and stopped sending the emails. Our relationship was more important than forwarding some random email. I don't know what your relationship is like with this Aunt, but I think it is totally okay to let her know that you find the jokes she sends offensive. Just don't try to justify your opinion. State it and let it be. Ball will be in her court.
I would either just ask her to stop sending them (you don't need to make a political statement, you can just ask her firmly) or set up a spam filter through your email to automatically delete them before you can open them.
I'm ONLY saying this as a means to keep the peace between you and your in-laws. Personally, if I were you, I'd be livid!
My former massage therapist started sending me inflammatory emails promoting Prop 8 that I found extremely offensive. I responded with "Please don't send me these emails any more". She didn't.
@mightysapphire: I totally agree. My very liberal MOH actually told me while dress shopping (which is the last time I saw her because we go to school far away from each other...) "Yeah your'e conservative, that's the only thing that's really wrong with you." I consider myself more conservative than her, but I don't get why so many people make it so that you're either one OR the other. And if you're more right than the person you're talking too, you're right. And if you're more left than the person talking to, you're left.
I wouldn't go too strong, but I would let her know that you do not appreciate these emails, and would prefer not to receive them. I think you have every right to set yourself out as unwilling to accept racism and intolerance in your life. If you plan to have children and attend family events with this lady and the rest of the family, this is your chance to say, "I will not tolerate this." Peace is a great thing, so I don't think you should go on the offensive, but you should tell her that the content is unacceptable to you, so it doesn't just move from emails to dinner table conversation.
OMG, My mother in law would do that. She knew I was an Obama supporter too and she wasn't. I never once said anything wrong about McCain because I respect that everyone has their own opinions, just don't be disrespectful of my opinions.
At first it was a one email but as the came time for the election. The emails were getting worse. I can't find the email and so I can't remember what I said or if it was nice or mean. But it definitely got her to stop sending me those emails.
Although, I do remember her writing back a snarky remark like, well, you could always just delete them yourself. WTF? Right?
Well my background with the MIL started to go down hil after we were engaged which ironicly was about the time the election campaigns were heating up. I can see her saying that I made our relationship worse but I think there were things she was pissing me off before the campaign thing.
EDIT: Can you play the innocent role?
Hi, Aunt Jane I think you accidently put me on your one of your mailing list to receive these emails. I don't necessarily like these emails because I don't agree with the message. Would you mind taking me off this list? I hope you understand. I respect your beliefs and I hope you do the same to me. By the way, those funny email you send me, not related to politics, keep sending those! It really makes me laugh.
Thanks, Aunt Jane.
Now, that I wrote that for you... I have a feeling that's what I wrote to my MIL.
@Yrret: I think I might just cut and paste the baby!!! It's perfect.
Okay, I'm tip-toeing back out of this thread trying desperately not to be the "thread-killer" that I can't seem to avoid being...
I'm so glad I can be of some help. :)
I've been the thread killer so many times. I just think that I was the thread killer because my posts are THAT good. And no one could add anything to it. lol
I get so many of these emails from my friends and family. Some of them dont realize that my views are different from theirs while others do and send them either to be mean/funny or to try to convert me to their way of thinking (more common).
Personally, I just delete them. Nothing I do will change their views, but it may cause a rift in our relationship. I would rather protect my relationships then make a point. It's annoying... but then so are the 20 lovey dovey and / or religious emails I get from my mom and grandpa daily.
My brother tried to take a stand last year and told everyone that he hated forwards (of any kind. even funny ones) and that pissed people off. I'm sure he still gets forwards and he ostrasized a bunch of people. Not really worth it.
So I say ignore it. If it comes up in conversaton... well.. thats another story.
are these emails coming to your work email?? if yes then tell her its inappropriate and she will be blocked if she continues.
if its a home email then just tell her that youre not interested in receiving the emails and you dont find them funny or interesting and do not enter any discussion with her about them - if she continues, i would just block her
i have no time for people that fill my email with that rubbish
I say, delete the "opinion" ones, but the ones that are clearly untrue, hit "reply all" and send the refutation, i.e. "Hi Auntie, Actually, they've managed to find President Obama's birth certificate and birth announcement in the local paper. Here's the link to see it: www.snopes.com/whateverwhatever. Talk to you!" She probably won't learn, but after a few responses, she'll probably remove you from her e-mail list.
I would keep deleting them/keep my mouth shut out of respect (not that what's she's doing is right, she might mistakingly think you share the same views or might just be wonky and not care, but it's not "ok" per se) and then at some point, if you have any kind of political message that you support in your inbox (a petition for ppl to sign, or a chain email of support or something) fwd it to others you know share your opinions... and her. Maybe THEN she'll get it!
I'd either just ignore it or tell her that you're running out of memory in your inbox and would like to stop receiving the e-mails. In my experience, people whose political beliefs are so strong that they repeatedly send e-mails like that won't have their minds changed through any fact-checking on your part, tempting as it might be.
Why not just set up a rule in your inbox to move her messages to the trashcan. If she really has something important to tell you, she can call. It isn't worth starting a problem over. Fortunately, this isn't your FMIL, which could be worse.
While I don't share the same political sentiment as you, I understand how annoying it is when people who don't even understand what is going on politically send you political messages that are even based on fact. Why not forward her a pro-Democrat fwd that is based on fact. She might get the hint that you don't appreciate her emails.
I have a small framed picture of Obama on my piano. (It's an old-fashioned thing to do- very big during the Reagan era.)
I had someone balk at the pictures when they saw it. I told them that I plan to have a photograph of every elected President in my home to remind me to respect, support and pray for our nation's leader.
...that shut them up.
I don't think a reply about wanting to respect our nation's elected leader would be very contentious. Good luck! Family and politics make for a difficult intersection. This year I was talking to my dad on the phone on Election Day and he said, "I've gotta run, honey. I just got to my polling station, and I have to go cancel out your vote." ...sweet, Dad.
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What would you do? My DH's Aunt sends me these awful chain emails bashing our current Presidential administration almost every day. They are full of ignorant, uneducated and irrelevent statements (anything from his race, to his religion, quotes, claiming he's a treasonist, etc. etc.) with absolutely no political or educational value. I'm tempted to post the ones that I got today - boy were those doozies! I usually get 3-10 of these per week!! For a while now I have just been deleting them. I have stopped reading most of them altogether, but it's just really getting to me. I feel this overwhelming need to set her straight and discourage her from passing along such ignorant rhetoric.
What do you think? Is this worth the potential family sparks flying?!?! Or should I just put up with it and let her assume that I subscribe to her thoughtless rants via email for the sake of family peace.
P.S. I think I am severaly outnumbered on the political front in DH's family (but I don't really care) *sigh*