- 6 years ago
- Wedding: January 2010
This male friend was with a great woman for years, the mother of his children. After years of unhappiness, she broke up with him; it gave him a wake-up call and he tried to make it up to her, but it was too little, too late.
Fast forward months later, he meets another woman and falls for her deep. No one has ever seen him like that and we think it’s great that he found happiness in love, even though we expected for him to date and take it slow after his big breakup.
He had her and her kids move in with him and his children and asked this woman to marry him after a very, very short period of dating – after saying for years that he would never get married, it’s just paper, etc..
He has changed a lot since getting with this woman, and not for the best.. He no longer sees any of his friends – which I admit can be normal at the beginning of a relationship, but this is a bit intense. He also cut all ties with his family because of her and sadly, neglects his kids.
She is very controlling, jealous, and not a good match for him for many reasons and examples that I will not get into here. He will eventually realize this, but at this point in their relationship he is still blinded by this new love.
I got an invitation to attend their wedding and don’t know what to do about it. I would never tell him that I think he’s making a mistake, since 1) we’re not close enough for that and 2) he cut off all his family for trying to tell him. Also, I think he’s a grown man who can make his own decisions and will learn from his mistakes.
Part of me feels like if I do not attend, I would be sending the message that I do not approve; thus alienating our friendship. Plus, being invited to a wedding is an honor, and if he wants me to be a witness to his commitment, I feel that I should. However, I don’t know how I can attend when I absolutely do not think he should be going through with this and being convinced that this union will end up in divorce. How can I be there and support a marriage that is hurting children?
What would you do?