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The honeymoon!
Unless that doesn't count as a wedding item.
Ummm.... maybe the band? Or if you are not going a band then the food?
Decor can get really expensive. But I'll take what ever they offer. It's a gift and it's not up to me to tell them what to give us.
I'd have to go with rehearsal dinner because we haven't really budgeted for that and I keep hoping they'll offer. :) I would have said alcohol but they don't approve of drinking so that would never happen. Would be sweet to actually be able to afford open bar, though.
i would probably choose the booze. that won't happen, because fmil thinks we should have a cash bar. they're paying for the florist instead plus a couple of smaller things.
i would like if they paid for a honeymoon, but they kind of are because they're paying for us to go to a DW one month later.
I'd pick whatever's going to cost the most! Not to be grubby about it, but money is interchangeable, so anything they spend money on is funds that I can use out of my own pocket for something else.
Though I do have this weird distaste for anything that's a wedding tradition, so them paying for the alcohol or rehearsal dinner makes me slightly uncomfortable.
it's more meaningful to give a 'trip' as opposed to alcohol, flowers, etc.
HONEYMOON!
Alcohol woulda been my second choice, but my parents are paying for that one (yay!).
HM!! My FIL's are paying for our rehearsal dinner and flowers but if they would have offered the HM I would have totally done something simple for the RD and paid for the flowers ourselves.
So here's the deal: from DAY ONE they've been saying they'd pay for honeymoon. So I've been banking on that, planning on DIY decor, etc. Last minute, FMIL finds a decorator to hire who will also do all the flowers, etc. She calls, Fiance and he OKAYS it without talking to me. Now he's offended that I'm so upset. I'm just super frustrated. We were planning on going to Greece (paying a little on top of what they had offered) but now we're back at square one. I feel like I'm being unreasonable, it's just a disappointment (but of course I'm not acting this way in front of them, I want to be gracious...).
Needless to say, I am quite ready to be done with wedding planning!
I'd say the honeymoon or the rehersal dinner.
Money always comes with strings attached so if you want to make sure you don't have to worry about other people's opinions for your wedding then let them pay for something that isn't and actual part of the wedding. YOU may think that $5/piece for chaivari chairs is a good deal but if your future in-laws don't agree you may be forced to make changes, if they want to plan something - let them pay for the RD, if they just want to gift you some money - I'd say use it for the honeymoon.
Thanks guys! It looks like my original opinion wasn't so off-base. I guess I just need to be thankful that they at least want to help out with ANYthing.
Honeymoon up to $5K
If I could go back I wouldnt have had my ILs pay for anything towards the actual wedding because once they did they felt like they had the right to do things their way and take control!
I would rather have them contribute to my honeymoon but then again, I think it's their decision as to what they should do with their money. I mean, any money they are helping out with is great, if their aren't any strings attached. It would be great if they didn't care where that money went but I know with my wedding, they had their own beliefs on where most of the money should be spent. Which was different from what me and the DH believed... which is why we didn't ask for monetary help.
I'd rather have them contribute what they are comfortable giving and using it towards any and all of those.
Honeymoon, hands down. Mine are paying for our rehearsal dinner - nowhere near 5000$! We're so grateful for their help. I think if I asked them to pay for alcohol they'd be offended.
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If in laws are planning to pay for one LARGE wedding item, what would you rather it be? I know what my preference is, but everyone is acting like I'm crazy. What do you ladies think?