Post # 1
I find it interesting when one person in a couple makes a big purchase for the other as a gift. For example, an expensive piece of jewelry for Christmas. My husband and I always discuss big purchases before making them and we both regularly check our online banking. Now maybe when we have more money in the account this isn’t such a big deal, but I would be a little upset if he went out and bought a gift for me that would fall in our personal “big ticket” range. Not to mention, I would know pretty quickly that he did it and where the purchase was. How do you feel about this and how would you handle it?
Post # 3
FI and I have joint/seperate checking accounts. We have a master checking for bills, and a shared savings, but seperate (linked) checking accounts. We divide whatever is left after bills and savings, and put it in our seperate accounts.
If he were to make a big purchase, I wouldn’t know. But we always set limits on how much we can spend on each other – I would feel bad if he bought me a diamond necklace and I bought him an XBOX game, LOL!
Post # 4
DH and I don’t really do big ticket items. I don’t like or wear jewelry, and DH isn’t into any really expensive hobbies where I’d be buying him gifts that were over $100. The most expensive thing he bought since we were dating, besides his couch and TV when we were like a month in was his PS3. He worked very hard for the extra money and bought it.
Typically we are both more frugal and would rather save than spend. We tend to have the mindset that if we need it, we discuss it together and buy it, as it’s usually something for the house or that we’ll both use. We don’t share bank accounts right now, so theroretically he could buy me something expensive without me knowing, but I think he knows I’d be upset if he did. We don’t usually splurge on big things for gifts.
Post # 5
They’re awesome. I like them. FI and I exchange gifts for Xmas, Birthday and Anniversary. We have our join accounts for bills and gifts are from our personal account so it doens’t feel like we’re buying gifts for ourselves (at least that’s how I rationalize it).
Post # 6
We discuss it. We set budgets this year for how much we could spend because he wanted to do the surprise thing, but mostly we just shop together. I would be upst, however, if he just up and bought something expensive without telling me because I manage the joint account and keep tabs on it. He usually only has a vague idea of what is going on. Good thing I have the only debit cards and he can’t keep track of a checkbook to save his life! 🙂
Post # 7
I think I would be a bit upset but I tend to be the more frugal one in the marriage. This Christmas, we decided to get each other a trip. We didn’t specify if we would each suprise the other with a weekend away of if we would combine forces and do a week somewhere more exciting. I’m actually debating if I should bring up the topic or just give him a coupon for a weekend in X.
Post # 8
We have only joint accounts, so I guess theoretically I would know…but I don’t really check our accounts regularly. I would probably be okay with the fact of spending the money, but upset if I didn’t spend an equivalent amount of money. For instance, this year’s budget is $200, but it’s my birthday coming up as well, AND he just got his bonus, so he’s hinted that it’s going to be something big. As long as the big part is my birthday present and not my holiday present, or they’re combined, that’s fine 🙂
Post # 9
If we need a big ticket item, we discuss it & budget accordingly.
For christmas we come up with a game plan, and this year it was: One big gift (150$-200$ range) and 2 or 3 smaller gifts (20-60$). And then we spend accordingly. I don’t think FI could ever truly surprise me with a big ticket gift – we combined ALL of our income & I do the budgeting!
Post # 10
We have some separate funds so if DH feels the need to spend lavishly on me, he can. But he’s an awfully practical guy–i imagine the next ‘big’ item i’ll get will be a push present type of gift. He just isn’t a gifter and that’s no problem for me. If i knew there was something he really wanted and it was expensive, I’d save up for it as a big surprise. I LOVE giving gifts that you know the recipient will love and be completely surprised by. But I’d be upset if he spent significantly more than a predetermined budget (say, for Christmas)
Post # 11
I love big gifts! 🙂 I love to give them! I love to receive them! Haha – I’m a spender…it’s not my best attribute. But FI and I have only combined our finances for the purpose of paying utilities, groceries, and occassionally a dinner out. But other than that, everything is separate. The only time we discuss it is that we don’t want one of us spending a fortune on the other, while the other is frugal for Christmas. That would end up making someone feel sad!
Post # 12
We’re both over-gifters, and we’re both smart with money (mostly). I could totally see me surprising him with an expensive gift if I felt we could afford it and I know he wouldn’t be upset. Same goes for him. If he buys me something big-ticket I trust that he did it in a way that we can afford and I’ll be excited and grateful for whatever it is.
Post # 13
We’re both very frugal, but I believe that Christmas and birthdays are the time to get big ticket items. We’ll save up for it, but jewelry, crystal and vacations are common gifts. We have separate credit cards so that the other wouldn’t find out. I mean I guess it’s what you define as a big ticket item. To me, as long as it’s under $500, it’s okay. A 20k car is not okay. lol
Post # 14
We set budgets for our gifts to one another so if the “big ticket gift” fits within the budget, awesome! This year for X-mas, we’re each spending a total of ~$350 on each other and that has to include 5 gifts. We don’t specify if that has to be 5 $70 gifts or 1 $300 gift with 4 $13 gifts. Budgeting within the overall budget is totally up to the purchaser.
Although all our our accounts are joint, we still have separate credit cards (makes doing his expenses for work way easier). So it is really easy to buy things for each other without the other person knowing exactly what was spent where.
Post # 15
we set a budget for gifts!
Post # 16
@soonerpsych: I agree with this. What we usually do is set an amount that we will spend on each other. It can be one gift or several gifts but well say we have no more than “x” amount of money to spend on one another. Any big purchase we discuss together. There might be something we buy that is a gift to both of us but we wouldnt surprise the other with some really expensive thing!