What would you think? Being excluded on your wedding day from ILs family photo

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: What would you think?
    Obviously an oversight : (15 votes)
    29 %
    Could have been an oversight : (11 votes)
    21 %
    Was intentional : (0 votes)
    Could have been intentional : (3 votes)
    6 %
    It is what it is, don't worry about it : (5 votes)
    10 %
    Not sure : (1 votes)
    2 %
    Other : (1 votes)
    2 %
    I'd be offended : (8 votes)
    15 %
    I wouldn't be offended : (8 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3199 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @MrsNewBride427: wait….you were the bride and you weren’t in the picture? thats super strange. seems like just an oversight to me, though. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    2912 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I think it’s so strange it must be an oversight. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1000 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Without knowing more, I’d think that they assumed that you’d join the picture once you were finished talking with the photographer.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3112 posts
    Sugar bee

    @MrsNewBride427:  

    I’m a very shy person so I don’t talk much, when I do talk I tend to stick my foot in my mouth…His family is full of very confident outoing people who are friends with everyone you meet.

    Wow!  You described my situation exactly!  It took years for my ILs not to hate me because I’m not as loud/talkative as them.  But to each his own.  I even had a similar family picture incident!  SIL got married one year before us.  They were doing a big-family picture with the spouses, and even though we had been engaged for 8 months, I was intentionally not included.  It hurt, and I still think about it to this day, but whatcha gonna do?

    As far as your picture, sounds like a TOTAL oversight.  I thought it was a blood-relative only picture (which I can understand) until you mention the girlfriend.  If they wanted her, then I think they would have wanted you, and it was just a mistake.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3538 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    From what it sounds like, they called out to you that they were ready, and you didn’t go get in the picture.  They probably thought it was strange that you didn’t go get in the picture. I don’t think it was intentional. Plus you could have told the photographer to take another one and jump in that one.  

    Post # 8
    Member
    2291 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: Central Park

    Why did the photographer not see that the bride wasn’t in the photo? Sounds like an oversight to me.

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    926 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    When my uncle got married quite a few years back, my brother brought his at the time girlfriend to the wedding (personally I thought that was the first mistake), which was out of state for us.  She popped into all the group wedding photos.  She and bro broke up not long after.  Now we have the family photos around the house with her in them (bro is long married now with children).  I think it’s awkward and my grandmother still gripes to this day (she didn’t approve of her being in the photos).  I’m on side where fiances and in-laws could be included but not bfs/gfs.  It’s totally personal choice, and some people are just set in certain ways.

    Post # 10
    Member
    409 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Seems like an oversight. Trying to get that many people into a single picture is a nightmare, so I’m sure someone saw you talking to the photograpehr and just thought you would head over when you finished.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1140 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    intil you mentioned that the BIL girlfriend joined i just thought maybe they wanted a family pic- like mom dad and kids( which is fine to have those pics) but you would of thought they would of realised the one in the big white dress is missing! so probally an oversight, and i wouldnt be offended. im sure you have plently of pics with everyone in it!

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