Post # 1
So…just got engaged on Friday, Yay! Although I have been hounding FI (wow, that sounds weird) for awhile now regarding what he wants for a wedding the response he gives me is “whatever you want.” Ok, that’s great, I get whatever I want…but what I want is some input from YOU (FI). I just want a few opinions, suggestions, likes/dislikes from him. How are you bees getting your FI’s involved in the planning, when they seem to be on another planet???
Pic included just because I’m excited!!!
Post # 3
Sorry, my husband wanted to be a part of everything… but if your FI says whatever you want then go for it and do what you want!!
Post # 4
@DustyBoots: I just keep asking him what he thinks over and over again until he gives an opinion. Lol just kidding (mostly). I usually give him options to choose from. For example, I gave him two color schemes to choose from. He hated the first one (pink, purple, and lime green) and disliked the second (aqua and red). I found out that his problem with aqua and red was that its “too modern” so I swapped the aqua for teal and bam it was a done deal.
Post # 5
@DustyBoots: That’s an annoying part about marrying a man. Sometimes he couldn’t care less.
Why not choose a handful of interesting concepts, and let him select his favorite of those? That way he doesn’t feel innundated, and you don’t feel like you’re doing EVERYTHIING, and wondering if you’re disappointing him?
Post # 6
I loved that he didnt really have a say. I just did whatever I wanted for the wedding, and didnt need to worry if he’d be ok with it or not. He didnt really have an opinion for anything wedding related, and didnt give it unless I asked him to help make a choice.
Post # 7
I have had success with giving him a few options and starting from there. Sometimes though, I only ask “Do you hate it?” and if the answer is no, I go with it. That way I know he can at least live with all my decisions, and if he won’t offer his opinion then that’s the best I’ll get! Good luck and congratulations!!!!
Post # 8
Most men have not dreamed of the details of their wedding.
Take each thing one at at a time. Centerpieces for example:
Do some initial research, then present him with a limited selection-3 or 4 ideas only.
Don’t ask him what he thinks. Ask him what he likes or dislikes about each one.
That way you will get some understanding of his taste.
Post # 9
Thanks to all of you for your suggestions so far. I am going to have to try each of them out and see what gets me the furthest with him! If all else fails it looks like I will be flying solo, with the exception of opinions from you guys.
Post # 10
Also ask him what he thinks is important. My FI only really cares about the cake and food. I ask him what he thinks of my choice or between a few choices for everything else. Also, I would ask if there are any things he really wants or doesn’t want.
Post # 11
Once you start actually planning things out, he may find that he has more of an opinion. My fiance also told me we’d do whatever I wanted,, and we pretty much have done that in terms of colors and decorating. However, I found when we were picking out the venue, photographers, and musicians, he was more interested and has given a lot of helpful input, along with doing some of the research himself.
Start making plans to get the ball rolling, and see how he reacts!
Love your ring!
Post # 12
@julies1949: Oooh that’s good. I do that, or come up with what I want and then ask him A. How does he feel about it (not “do you like it” but a more open ended question) and B. Would he change anything?